(A Random Post)



Even An Ugly Man – Hawksley Workman

So there’s this girl at work.

Let me just start by saying that I had no intention of ever trying to hook up with anyone at work. I’m a professional. Sure, as a cashier I’m surrounded by a bevy of lovely women for hours at a time, but damn it, I’m there to work! Women may be throwing themselves at me constantly, but I kick their cute little tushes to the metaphorical curb everytime.

But when fate throws a charming, wide-eyed, young brunette thing at you…well, you realize that you’re only human.

Her name is Adriana (hence, title) and let me start off by admitting that yes, she’s a bit younger than me. She’s 16. But hey, I’m only 19! — (Dr. Evil voice) “I’m hip, I’m with it. Duck-a, duck-a, duck-a…” (awkwardly does the Macarena) — And yeah, I know I’ll be 20 soon, but she’ll be 17 in January. You do the math. Look, worst comes to worst, I’m a pederast and you know what? I can accept that.

We met about a month ago when she first arrived. I was a fairly new cashier myself, but I figured I’d been around long enough to give her some pointers. I laughed at her paranoia at getting a counterfeit, which caused her to scrutinize every bill. I taught her how to do price checks. I got in trouble for flirting with her during my break. It’s been a real whirlwind romance.

What really did it for me was a shift we had a couple of weeks ago. My boss set up this tent next to the store to take advantage of the good weather…which only lasted a couple of weeks since he started it in the middle of September. She was stuck out in the tent one cold day, so decided that I would use my precious break time to go out and visit her. She reciprocated by coming in and hanging out with me during her break. Then we did the same thing with our second breaks. It was an awesome day and I think we hit it off. We did the whole “getting to know you” thing.

She lives nearby. She’s younger. She’s a band geek. I’ve got to have SOME chance here, right?

And now where it all goes downhill. The other day we were paired up on adjoining cash registers, which was awesome because we could hang out and talk all we wanted. Good times. I eventually build up the courage to ask her if she wants to hang out sometime since we both live in the area. She says that’s cool. Good times. Then I decide to give her my number just as she’s leaving. Bad…actually, not necessarily. I didn’t really get a gauge on what she thought of that because she had to go, but now I’m thinking that it was a little forward. Then again, maybe it’s because I’ve never really done that before. We’ll have to wait and see, I guess.

And now, the “Michelle Ngo ‘Give Alex Lee The Will To Live For One More Day’ Dialogue Exchange” of the week.

Alex: So what are you doing this weekend?

Michelle: Oh, I thought we could all go out to dinner this weekend.

A: Aw, I can’t. I got to go to Korean BBQ. (Note: Remember that, boys?)

M: Forget it.

A: You guys should go without me. I bet you haven’t seen some of those losers in a while.

M: I guess.

A: Just go.

M: Can I say something really corny?

A: (shifts nervously) Eeeeeeh…uh oh. Sure.

M: The only reason I wanted to go out to dinner this week was because I thought I wasn’t going to see you this week.

Thanks, babe. One more day then.

Never date writers, honey. Writers suck.



Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.



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