I, Choking Yak will now tell you some Provoking Facts.

– I’m going insane from listening to The Servant by…The Servant. Or at least the tracks I’ve been able to download. I like it, but Orchestra (their first single?) is like the only one I can remember. Aside from Cells, which I am completely obssessed with at the moment. I don’t even care about the movie anymore.

– I want to hire a butler or something, to listen to that album so that I can tell people “Hey, the servant is listening to The Servant by The Servant!” and so that they can reply back “You’re fucking retarded, man.” This is second on my list, next to my master plan to take over the Toronto Raptors, draft Marvin Williams Jr., and sign Frank Williams so that next year we can have a line-up of…

PG – Frank Williams

SG – Alvin Williams

SF – Eric Williams

PF – Marvin Williams

C – Aaron Williams

…I mean, it’s not that far-fetched. I swear, it works. Then when we play the Bucks, the opposing coach will be like “Hey Williams, guard Williams!” And then Maurice Williams will be like “BUT WHICH ONE!?!” HAHAHAHAHAHA…that just cracks me up.

– Went to dinner during the weekend, and I saw this one car parked right in the middle of two spots, right on top of the line. It was hilarious. It worked out so that if you approached the spots from either side, you couldn’t tell that they weren’t empty until you had practically turned into the spot already. I know this because it’s what I did. I tried to take a picture of the car with my phone, but it doesn’t look all that great. And while I was taking it, no less than three other cars tried to turn in and thus were tricked. My dad thinks someone did it on purpose, whereas I maintained that the driver was just too stupid to realize what they were doing. Considering that it was a Chinese plaza, they both seem equally likely.

– I realized today while eating an orange that Batgirl’s currently my favourite comic book character. I have no idea why – her book’s not that good, and she hasn’t done that many cool things yet. Is it because she’s a cute looking 18 year-old Chinese girl if nothing else? …possibly. I also maintain that she could probably beat Daredevil a solid 6 out of 10 times in a straight up, gadget-less fist fight. Just for the record, under the same conditions, I would give Daredevil 6/10 over Batman. But throw in the gadgets, and 60% of the time, Batman would kill him everytime.

– I know I shouldn’t say this, considering the company I keep…but my life has been kicking huge amounts of ass lately. It’s not like I’ve been depressed over the last long while – I’ve always at least had a standard minimum level of happiness – but regardless, the sun seems brighter, food tastes better, I have that bounce in my step, 24 seems to be kicking more ass even though I know in my heart that nothing will ever beat Season 2…I am high as a fucking kite. Is it only seratonin?

You know…nothing’s really changed…

But…everything’s different.

And for the first time in a long while, I can go to bed with a reason to wake up in the morning.

(For the record, the last time I could honestly say that was when FOX still had X-Men on Saturday mornings. …man…good times.)