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Invisible Touch – Genesis

Seeing as how the site has devolved (evolved?) into a series of posts about curling and Russian skull fucking and we have guys named Kendall on our tagboard, I thought it was time that I at least say why I haven’t posted in about two weeks, which is what really matters. I don’t have anything to say about these other guys. They can go eat a dick for all I care.

I’ve seen many a shitty website lose relevance due to a lack of quality updates or not having updates at all. This is usually because the owners of the site are a bunch of lazy pricks.

DAMN IT, I assure that this is not the case with The WAMBAG. I am not lazy, I just have no life and therefore, nothing to write about. So there ya go.

Having said that, I will hopefully be rejuvenated by a Saturday hanging out with Will, Max and Jess which was composed of Max and Will dying approximately nine thousand times while playing Alien Hominid, watching the greatest movie of all time and playing a stirring game of Life. The latter involving Max becoming a former high school basketball prodigy turned coke addict, Will becoming a self-loathing, family hating tech support employee, me becoming an adult film star with a past of animal pornography and three kids of questionable lineage, and Jess becoming a highway patrolwoman who, with the exception of being a filthy bull dyke, managed to stay pretty clean throughout. So, pretty standard game actually.

Once I’m finished with my last essay, hopefully I’ll have more personal problems to whine and bitch about. I really didn’t want to write about my school issues, it’s terribly boring.

Sheep and Yak, keep holding it down fellas and I’ll do my best to carry my weight around here.

PQ: (particularly explicit today)
It must be very exciting, doing what you do. Katie, Frau Brendel, she’s not allowed to talk too much about Jurgen’s job–But I bet it’s a thrill a minute…Much too thrilling for me, ha ha! I’m more of a thrill a month sort of girl! I mean, a lot of my friends, they say “Hilde, you’re still young, you should live a little”–but I don’t see anything wrong with settling down…
I think there has been a misunderstanding, Fraulein Weiss. I am here to fuck. When I asked Haputmann Brendel about women, he told me he would ask his wife if any of her friends were unattached. He assumed my interest was social. It is merely coital. More wine?

What you’ve got to understand about women is they like to be romanced, you know? Bit of tenderness, bit of flattery…you’ve got to seduce them…
I can’t be bothered with any of that crap. I’ve always resisted the sexual urge up to now. But it doesn’t seem to go away, no matter how vigorously I masturbate.
Right…well…