(A Random Post)

Party Favours

One Hit Wonder – Everclear

I had to go to Natasha’s birthday party. Quick recap: She’s the quirky religious girl who used to live on res that let me sleep over one time. She’s cool. I’ve barely seen her since she moved out so I thought that tonight would have been a good chance to catch up on things.

My mistake.

Turns out there was about 70 people invited. It wasn’t exactly the most…intimate environment. I managed to talk to her alone for all of, oh, 8 seconds. It wasn’t that bad though, as I wasn’t expecting much. Plus, I had braced myself by watching High Fidelity the night before, so I was prepared to get my John Cusack on if I had to. Luckily, that wasn’t necessary as there was one other guy I knew there, an old friend of hers, and I did a decent job of making nice with this other dude who I just met. Their names and what we talked about are absolutely of no interest to anyone here. Suffice to say that I felt bad for a few reasons:

1) I told the guy I knew that I was sticking to him since I didn’t know anybody else. That may have cramped his style a bit. Though considering he was wearing a frilly shirt, his style could barely be more cramped.

2) The dude who I was sitting across from me did his best to start conversation and I did my best to accomodate him. But you know how I am. Most of you have known me for years and it’s near impossible to talk to me. He was nice though.

3) As we were trying to figure out how the tables were grouped, I asked them how they met Natasha. They both said they met her through a friend. Ironically, the friends through whom the meeting was done were not actually at the party. I found that odd. I declared us to be the “Miscellaneous” or “Other” table. I asked them how often they hung out with Natasha. They both said they hadn’t seen her in many months before tonight. I hadn’t seen her in a bit myself, so then I asked, “What’s the draw? Why are we all here?” Suffice to say, there wasn’t a definitive answer and that put a slight damper on further discussion.

The food was great. I have to admit I’d never eaten at Mandarin before. Pretty lame, I know. My tolerance for fried stuff must be dropping. I found myself heavily congested after. I realize now why people learn to burp at will. I was trying to force one, but it only lead to a series of hiccups, which gradually released all the gas. I figured it out: Hiccups are burps for pussies.

After that I came home and watched a lot of movies on TV. For anyone with satellite, there was a wicked selection of flicks on tonight:

The Godfather III – I’ll be honest. I didn’t “get” the first Godfather (I’m gay) and I didn’t finish Godfather II (the tape I borrowed from the library was messed up). However, I will watch anything with Al Pacino in it at least once, plus I was with my bro so he could explain everything to me. This obviously isn’t the best of the series and I’ve heard some say that it’s a pretty bad movie all things considered. Francis Ford Coppola is a wicked director and the actors were all entertaining: Pacino goes without saying; Andy Garcia looking like the next big thing before everything went to hell; and Sofia Coppola…for the sheer crappiness of her performance.

Great Balls Of Fire – They show this on MuchMoreMusic every other week or so. I enjoy it. It’s about the musician Jerry Lee Lewis in case anyone cares. It’s a bit too cartoony though, at times looking like it’s trying to be a musical. Plus, the director has no idea how to properly convey the relationship between Jerry Lee and his, erm, 13 year old cousin (Winona Ryder). At times its supposed to be romantic, but come on, it’s his fucking underaged cousin! Dennis Quaid is pretty good as the main character. We’re not talking about a Ray level performance or everything, but he’s clearly having a good time. He was probably drunk off his ass during the whole film, but that’s okay.

Navy SealsIts excellence needs no explanation.

Heat – Hey, it’s Pacino again! Have I talked about this movie before? Who cares? This movie kicks ass! Let’s just look at the cast: Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Ashley Judd…and that’s just the main cast! Supporting actors include Jon Voight, Natalie Portman, Tom Sizemore, Danny Trejo (Robert Rodriguez’ actor of choice), Amy Brenneman (Judging Amy), Mykelti Williamson (sadly, best known as Bubba from Forrest Gump), William Fichtner (a classic “That Guy”) and of course, Wes Studi, or should I say, Sagat from Street Fighter. If you haven’t seen this movie, well, you suck. As far as I know, the only movie where Pacino and De Niro have a scene together and let me tell you, it is worth the wait. Great, great, great, great movie.

Boogie Nights – Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy…forget it, just check this cast list. That’s a murderer’s row of actors right there. Alfred Molina and Don Cheadle are in there too? That’s illegal. It’s directed by my boy, Paul Thomas Anderson who also did Magnolia and Punch-Drunk Love. I haven’t finished it as I’m waiting to get it on DVD, but I’ve caught bits and pieces. I challenge you to watch a scene from this film and not be mesmerized by it, it’s truly brilliant.

I was flipping between all these movies with my brother, which is always fun. We sit around, criticize actors, make lots of inside jokes, pretend that we actually know shit about the craft of movies, it’s really fun. These are the sorts of things I’ll remember when he’s dead. Just thought I’d end this post with something nice.

Guess you two got yourselves in some kinda trouble, huh?
Yeah, I have a tape I got sent by mistake, full of evidence on this terrorist guy. So what’s it like, living around here?
It ain’t so bad. You hear all kindsa stories ’bout country people bein’ backward or crazy, but you only gotta stay a short while to know that’s just a exaggeration. Livin’ here kinda reminds me of that show The Dukes of Hazzard, ‘cept local folks fuck their kin a lot more.



Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.



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