Dessert

I Don’t Want To Be – Gavin DeGraw

I miss Gary.

*****

This summer was already looking pretty kickass. Job: secure, occasionally fun. School: non-existent for the time being. Friends: seemingly everywhere. Rock Concerts: awesome. Life: improving. After the spiritual wasteland that was the last two or three months of school, things could only get better.

On top of all that, she came back.

*****

She, of course, being one Ms. Annia Vuthirong. Now, don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not like her and I hadn’t talked for years or anything like that. I’m sure there was the occasional MSN “hello” here and there. But with her in Guelph and romantically involved for the better part of the last year, it was difficult for us to make time to see each other. Before last month, I hadn’t seen her since Christmas. I think.

However, with school finished, our schedules happened to coincide and so, one day in June we managed to find the time to chill out. I can’t remember too much about that reunion. We may have watched Gilmore Girls, though I’m willing to deny that. I remember that the day ended with me walking her to the bus stop and her mentioning that I looked a bit older. At first, I was offended, but she clarified that I’d lost some of the boyishness in my face, which I decided needn’t be such a bad thing. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a compliment, which are hard to come by when you’re dealing with Annia. I’ll take it.

Since that day, we’ve spent a lot of time hanging out. There have been some emotional highs and lows, most of which I probably shouldn’t get into for her sake. When we met again, it seemed like our lives were going in seperate directions. Like I said, I felt that things were going great. For her…not so much. I’d like to think that this is the way things are for a reason. Apparently, and I could be wrong, I provide some sort of emotional support for her in addition to my usual gift of entertainment. Last week, I kept her company in Guelph while she finished one of her LONG overdue school projects. I think we sat in the same room for about six hours. At the time, I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be. She thinks that she’s some burden for me. Like chilling out with her and watching movies or wandering around downtown with her in this awful heat is strictly for her benefit or amusement. I get so much out of it.

For one thing, I’ve always thought of myself as being an emotional wreck who has a hard enough time dealing with his own shit. Suddenly, there’s this person who has real problems, who’s coming to me for help. ME! The same cat who would talk everyone’s ear off at lunchtime in high school if a girl didn’t make eye contact with him in Biology class! I’m supposed to help her! It’s not like I actually do anything for her. I seem to get points just for showing up. But yeah, maybe this is what I’m supposed to do.

That last sentence relates to the second benefit of Annia being back. I get to see my friend again. I mean, you tend to forget when you don’t see someone for a while how important they are to you. How they can amaze you with everything they do. How great they make you. That’s always a good gauge of friendship for me, albeit an egotistical one. What am I like around this person? She might argue, but I know when I’m around her, I’m at my best. And it sticks. At work, with other friends, I’m more confident. She makes me so much more than I am.

I’m reading this thing over, and it does not express how happy I am to have this girl back in my life. She’s truly one of my best friends. Yeah, my boys are good for some some laughs or some gay sex…but with her, it’s different. She challenges me. She scares the shit out of me sometimes. I’m the luckiest bastard in the world that she chooses to spend time with me.

Tomorrow, I think we’re going shopping for tripods. I can’t wait.

*****

Your man said there were five guards, but that would be the ones with the palanquin itself. There must be a score or more shadowing it from the woods and hills. There’s no way you can mount a successful attack…even rifles will be useless. It’s child’s play for a mountain shinobi to sniff out a burning matchlock fuse.

I’m saying I will…