Here’s a random collection of conversations I’ve had over the last couple of days.

Me: [turning on the radio and catching the words “Halladay” and “x-rays” in the first sentence I hear] “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU -“
My brother: “Huh? What happened?”
Me: “- UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU -“
My brother: “Did he hurt his leg?”
Me: “- UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU -“
My brother: “Man, that sucks.”
Me: “- UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!”

Cousin: “Hey, what time is it?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Cousin: “Just check your watch!”
Me: “It doesn’t work.”
Cousin: “Why haven’t you gotten it fixed then?”
Me: “I got it for like five bucks in Hong Kong. I’m not convinced that it ever even worked in the first place.”
Cousin: “Then why are you wearing it?”
Me: “I don’t know. I guess I just like wearing watches. Besides, you know what they say – ‘Even a broken watch is right twice a day.'”
Cousin: “You just don’t know when it’s right.”
Me: “It’s like nine thirty – it’s right now!”
Cousin: “It’s like eleven.”
Me: “Seriously? So why’d you ask me for the time then?”
Cousin: “I don’t know.”

My 7 year-old cousin: “I AM BI!!!”
Me: [spitting out Coke] “GYAH! What!?!”
My 7 year-old cousin: “I…am…bi.”
Me: “…”
My 7 year-old cousin: “IAMBI!!!”
Me: “…are you sure?”
My 7 year-old cousin: “I am bi am eeuator!”
Me: “‘Ee-u-a-tor…?'”
My 7 year-old cousin: “Hi and bye and see-you-later!”
Me: “Hahaha, ah yes, I get it now. That was a close one!”
My 7 year-old cousin: “What?”
Me: “Hi and bye and see-you-later!”

Later…
My 7 year-old cousin: “Have you seen Raphael’s painting, The School of Athens?”
Me: “You know, I don’t think I have.”
My 7 year-old cousin: “I saw it when I went to the art gallery – I think it’s very beautiful.”
Me: “…I like…Ninja Turtles…?”