More Like Valentine’s “Gay”! (Har Har Har)

Smile – Weezer

Parry!

Sorry for the interruption gentlemen, but I hadn’t realized that the GQ situation had become so serious. So, this afternoon, I broke open the emergency glass case in my room that contains a condom and two tickets that can be redeemed at any time for a screening of…Brokeback Mountain! Yeeeah, boy!

I was supposed to meet up with Annia today, who is currently back in Toronto and for one reason or another, we didn’t make plans until today. I thought I was just going to meet up with her for a minute and then I’d go home and study/sleep/whatever. When she told me that she didn’t have any prior obligations, I asked if she wanted to have dinner. “Let’s go see a movie,” she said, excitedly. When I asked her which one, she almost immediately said Brokeback Mountain. Right now? “Yeah.” Like, today? “Yeah.” Like today right now today? “Yeah!” Because I’d heard so many good things about the film AND because I’m an aspiring film student AND because there’s a better than 75% chance I was going to see some dude’s wang, I eventually agreed to go see the movie.

It was good, too. I don’t remember Will’s review, but I’m pretty sure I agree with whatever it is he said. The gay sex scene in the film isn’t that bad, especially if you’ve already seen the rape scene in Pulp Fiction or any episode of Oz. Or if you’ve been at Max Wong’s house for more than three minutes. I think for most people it’s the honesty of the relationship between the two leads that freaks people out.

To go further, I’ll say that somehow Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger somehow come out as more manly after this film. They play their roles so well and so, er, straight, that the overall effect of the movie is nothing less than devestating. It clocks in around two hours and the movie spans over twenty years in the characters lives, but it goes by in about a minute. Just a gorgeous, well constructed film. I recommend it to anyone…under the strict condition that it is seen with at least one female, natch. Other than that, enjoy!

And if you didn’t already know, there’s a sweet Anne Hathaway tittie shot smack dab in the middle of the film that’ll straighten you right up. I didn’t think much of her before this film, but her acting was great and her breasts were equally great. I don’t normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. She has an absolutely breathtaking rack. I mean, that thing’s good. I wanna be friends with it. She ain’t goin’ back to the Princess Diaries after this, no siree.

Apparently I was doing Annia a favour by watching it with her since she had wanted to see it for a while, but come on, we all know that she was the one helping me out. I’d never tried spending Valentine’s Day with a girl before. Hurm. What a novel concept.

Hell, I’m a black mutant. In this country, that’s like being black with a little black added.