Now What?

Brave New World – Michael Penn

It’s been a week since my last day at Food Basics and I can honestly tell you that the experience has been underwhelming so far. I suppose it was too much to expect that as soon as I left that accursed establishment that air would taste better, women would instantly find me more attractive and Solsbury Hill would suddenly start playing everywhere I walked. Even so, I have to say that my newfound freedom has not been put to good use. I’ve been playing a lot of videogames, though that goes without saying. And some time has a gone to at least thinking about Frosh Week stuff, though there is a distinct lack of actual action on that front. I have a list of things I plan to do or begin doing in August:

* Write a song a screenplay a novel something
* Exercise
* Go to Vancouver to visit Annia
* Fix my sleep schedule so that I can wake up early and go through an entire school day without sleeping in class or taking a three hour nap in a public place
* Take care of my Frosh Week responsibilities
* See the people who need seeing
* Get over the fact that I don’t have a job or any kind of regular income anymore and somehow I thought this was a great decision

Let’s address some of these topics.

I have no doubts that quitting my job was the right thing to do, however even I have to question the circumstances under which I’ve done so. For one thing, I’ve all but sworn off working part-time ever again. I never say never, but I can say that I would be disappointed if when next you see me I’m asking you whether you would like one or two scoops on your cone. One major reason that most of my former co-workers were so reluctant to leave Food Basics (besides the fact that they got to work with me) was that they feared not being able to find another job. Why did this not factor into my decision to quit? I’m telling myself that I haven’t decided to mooch off my parents for the rest of my life. Any minute now I’m going to be out of the house and taking care of myself. I’m confident that this is how one goes about becoming a hobo.

The other thing that’s troubling me is my decision to never, ever have anything to do with the store again. I mean, I don’t even want to shop there anymore. There was one attempt by a coworker to contact me on MSN but luckily for both of us, I was away. It’s not like I hated the store and I definitely didn’t hate the people I worked with. I grew quite fond of some of them in fact. It would be easy for me to call one of them up and propose some kind of arbitrary meal that we could use to discuss whatever it is that people discuss at those things. I feel no urge to do so. Perhaps I’m just being lazy or I’m a sociopath. I’ve convinced myself that detaching myself completely from work is somehow noble. The logic behind that conclusion eludes me at this moment.

One month left until school starts again. I honestly cannot wait, because I have little to do with the time I currently have on my hands. I’m focused, man. That’s why I truly believe that I might actually be able to start working on kicking my bad habits. No more going to bed at five in the morning, no more staring at my bony ass in the mirror, no more sitting in my room and strumming my guitar aimlessly, no more…you get the idea. One month until school starts, but I’d better start my education early. No more procrastinating.

Ugh. There’s still so much I have to say about quitting my job, but I’m going to let it go. It’s been on my mind all week, no need to throw it on this webpage. Instead, I bring you links:

Here’s the pilot for a show called Lookwell, which was written by Conan O’Brien and Robert Smigel. Conan occasionally mentions a show he worked on that was a disaster. Here it is. I haven’t taken the time to watch it myself, so if anyone does feel free to slap a comment on the tagboard. Starring Adam West.

Another Conan O’Brien link and it’s not a YouTube clip! Gasp! Wait, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t click on it! I’m actually amazed that William or Brian didn’t post this before. Or did you? Regardless, arbitrary humour at its finest.

I’ve never been more jealous of a celebrity’s conquests than those of Derek Jeter. Colin Farrell? Forget it. Brad Pitt? Whatever. But Derek Jeter and I share a taste for ethnic looking women. And Scarlett Johansson. The article says that his relationship with Jessica Alba began because he’d been interested in her for a while and I guess his people hooked him up with her people and then they got together themselves. How romantic. That’s how this guy rolls. He wants something, he gets it. I know I’ve been bitching about this for the last month but…I mean, damn it, seriously? What the fuck, eh? I don’t even have anything of note to say here.

Part of me doesn’t want to go to Vancouver. Even though it would be a perfect “going back to my roots” vacation, I’ve been extremely lackadaisical in my efforts to find a flight or to even set a date. I should get out of town though. Clear my head.

I’m going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?
Who said that?
She did.
Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.
You’re fired.
Well you didn’t have to say it like that.