Bible Shopping

Earth Angel – The Penguins

A quick story. I saw Natasha today for the first time in, like, three months I think. That’s not too bad. I’m used to it with her. I hate to say it, but she’s an “event friend”. That is to say, I care about her greatly, but we’re not currently at the point where we could hang out with each other every day or without making plans at least a day ahead of time. Nothing wrong with that.

I have a couple of hours to spare, so I meet her after my first class and we go to this Thai place and I catch her up on all the cool stuff that’s happened to me over the last month. Believe it or not, I don’t bury her under an avalanche of orientation week stories. I’m definitely tired of talking about it. I’m glad I did that post, because it’s all sort of spilled out of my brain at this point and I’d like to have something to refer back to one day.

After lunch, Natasha tells me that she needs to buy a Bible for one of her religion classes, specifically the New Revised Edition (I think?). I figure that will take about two minutes. As you know, no statement on this website that has ever begun with “I figure…” has ever proven to be true.

Several minor delays occur before we even start browsing. First, Natasha insists on going to the Chapters on Bloor even though it closed, oh, ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO! Luckily, a woman on the street hears us bickering and informs her that I am indeed telling the truth and that we need to go to the Indigo on Bay street. A bookstore I have been to about a hundred times. That said, Natasha still insists on asking a clerk where we can find the Bibles even though I know exactly where they are. So we’ve already wasted a solid five minutes just getting to the section. I figure we’ll be in and out now. I figure, I figure…

“Ooh, look at this one! It looks like a lady’s wallet on the outside, but it’s the Bible inside.”

“I need the New Revised Edition, not the King James Edition! Geez, Alex!”

“I don’t like the colour of this one.”

Those are just some of the sentiments expressed by m’lady. I’ve gone shopping with girls plenty of times, but I never, ever thought that one could complicate the act of purchasing holy texts. Incredible. There was this poor woman sitting near us who I think was trying to get some reading done and enjoy some peace and quiet, meanwhile Natasha and I were continuing with our asinine chatter. At one point she chimes in, telling Natasha that she can get a Bible for free from any Church near here. This comment was meant to serve two purposes: 1) I’m confident that she saw I was suffering and was looking to help me get out of there and 2) She wanted us to shut the hell up. Natasha pretty much ignored her. At last, Natasha decided to buy one, but with the condition that she would return it if it wasn’t absolutely essential to succeed in that course. This decision took 45 minutes.

I’ve been wanting to make a post about what classes I’m taking and giving you some commentary on them, but unfortunately, I’ve had absolutely no time. I say unfortunately because my classes are cool so far. Even my Cinema Studies classes, in which I spend 8 hours a week with a teacher who is completely useless, are tolerable. If I get the chance I’ll definitely give you guys some more details, but don’t be surprised if, due to my newfound dedication to actually studying (how novel), my posting becomes near non-existent. As if you’d even notice, eh? I’ll definitely be back posting regularly in the winter when I’m all depressed and complaining about how cold it is. Everything is right on schedule!

That was completely boring. I might as well have cut a slit in a piece of meat.
You still have to pay. I can moan and tell you what a big dick you’ve got. But that costs extra.
It’s such a squalid, messy act, so you want the appropriate surroundings…I mean, this is a step in the right direction, but…
We can do it in the alley round the back, if you want. But that costs extra.
What bothers me is the temporary loss of control that comes with release. That’s probably why I’ve stayed clear up ’til now. Perhaps if there was some element of degradation at the beginning, that would help me to put it in context…hmmm. How much does it cost to piss in your mouth?