(A Random Post)

Additional notes, in post form. Because I put a character limit on the tagboard to prevent shenanigannary.

First off, regarding Kramer’s career suicide…I actually first heard about it in the elevator up to the office on Monday. I have these super posh elevators at work that have little screens that flash miscellaneous Associated Press article highlights, stock tickers, and all that stuff. I only caught a brief headline, which was something to the effect of “Michael Richards goes on racist tirade in LA comedy club.” So my reaction at the time was just of a “Heh, oh that Kramer – what will he do next?” nature.

Turned out it was a bit worse than I thought…but let’s be honest here, his career’s already over. The characters were too powerful, the show was too good – they couldn’t break the typecast. Did anyone ever watch The Michael Richards Show? I did. It was terrible. Same with Bob Patterson and Watching Ellie, aka “22”. (…actually I’m the only one that called it that.) Although Elaine did have pre-Seinfeld success as a prominent SNL cast member and did win an Emmy for The New Adventures of Old Christine post ‘feld. And at least George will always have Duckman (I loved that show!) as an external piece of work he can be proud of. Michael Richards? I’m sorry to say it, but to me, he died as Kramer back in ’98.

It’s probably better that way.

Next – the 30 Rock girl, Katie Bowden? Absolutely ridiculous, especially in the “Jack The Writer” episode. And seems to have an uncanny resemblence to Christine Taylor. Is it just me? Anyway, turns out Christine Taylor is yet another woman that fits the profile of my disturbingly specific fetishism. The criteria are as follows…

1) Must be blonde.
2) Must be over 35.
3) Must have an appearance in Spin City.

I’m not ashamed to admit that my tastes are very specific. Also, all three criterion must be met to qualify – I don’t have just a blonde fetish, a Spin City fetish, or an old woman festish. Don’t meet all three, THEN FORGET ‘EM! I can’t explain these things, so don’t ask for an explanation.

Here’s how it works – the more you qualify, the hotter you are. So by my count, here are all the women that are subject to my particular fetishism, as of press time. (I love that word, “fetishism“)

Heather Locklear – Top of the list for not only meeting all three criterions, but absolutely crushing them. I’m guessing she’s the prototype of this fetish, what the critera were based on from the start.

Courtney Thorne-Smith – I believe she was like a District Attorney or a city lawyer or something that Michael J Fox dated for an episode. Also, she is very blonde and was in Melrose Place – the more similarities to the prototype, the higher up the list you go. Unfortunately, According To Jim is a terrible show.

Christine Taylor – Just turned 35 this year, and I am surprised to discover through her IMDB page that she was in one episode of Spin City, as Heather Locklear’s sister (that is hot!), which Michael J Fox also dated. Prior to my discovery that she appeared in a 22 minute episode of a sitcom in 2000? I knew her as Ben Stiller’s wife, a fringe Frat Pack member. Afterwards? A full out fetish, just like that, on like a switch.

…uh…that’s it. You could say I’m pretty picky about these things.

Of course, considering that Spin City is no longer with us, that leaves a definite limit of 35+ year-old blondes out there left for me. I may have to update some criterion or sub in a new underrated, underappreciated, yet hilarious sitcom in there. If only I knew one of those…

Also, for those of you keeping track (I know I am!), Michael J Fox as Mike Flaherty has banged all the women on my list (yes, all…three), travelled back in time, hosted SNL, completely owned Scrubs for two episodes, and has been the voice for three Stuart Litte movies. Yup, the only other person that has stolen more of my dreams is Derek Jeter. Even though he lost the MVP, I know in my heart that it should have been him, because Morneau was only the fourth best player on even just the Twins (Santana, Mauer, Nathan), and baseball is completely retarded anyway.

The Italians have a saying, Lemon – “keep your friends close, your enemies closer” – and although they’ve never won a war or mass produced a decent car, in this area they are correct. In five years we’ll all either be working for him…or be dead by his hand.

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Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.

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