Because posting links is easier than acknowleding the terrifying horror that comes with realizing the true depths of the absolute meaninglessness of my existence!

– I originally found this video with the description “watch this 100 times and you’ll still laugh” attached to it. Currently giving it a floor run, seeing if it plays…I’m up to 12, and the theorem still holds water.

– This is a video entitled Colbert Gay Snake Marriage. Take from that what you will.

– Not sure if we’re all hip to the massive collapse of the 2007 New York Mets – but they managed to blow a seven game lead over the Philadelphia Phillies with 17 games to play, something that has never happened in Major League Baseball history. To no one’s surprise, Conan is all over it. Mascot comedy is always quality, and mascot violence is always comedy, so it works out. Here’s part two – you can see the setup from a mile away, but it still doesn’t make it any less funny. Get these YouTubes before NBC takes it down.

– On a related note, here’s a Kanye skit on the SNL season premiere (hosted by LeBron).

– And lastly…a nice wedding gift, because I understand some of us have upcoming weddings to attend, and so that gives me an excuse to post something with the word “weddding” in it. Anyway, fuck your wedding – I want to know why people create things like this. It’s absolutely abhorring. When I watch videos like this…it just makes me angry – angry that there’s people out there that actually enjoy scripting and filming these things out, under the insane delusion that this idea was something good, something worth celebrating…I can’t explain to you how badly that little black ball of hate within me burns at this. Just the sheer gall of these people to present life in such a warped fashion…it’s irresponsible. I do not, I can not, for one second believe that this is how life works for anyone. It’s a pipe dream, and to make a video portraying a world in which something like this is not even just possible, but in fact reality…that’s just not right. Fuck this world. FUCK THIS WORLD.

No, I’m not bitter at all.

My album went gold in a day, fam! My album went gold in a DAY!