A sausage & egg McMuffin sandwich, hash brown, and small coffee (double milk, no sugar): $3.94
Starting your day with 590 calories and the lingering fear of a cardiac event: Priceless

Now here are some links.

– Real life Spider-Girl needs an operation, which might be expensive, with payment not always accepted. Parasitic perinatal twins and rape jokes! The classiest establishment you will find on the world wide web is sitting right in front of you.

– The mascots for the 2010 Winter Olympic games in Vancouver have been announced. There’s a half-bear, half-killer-whale one, a half-bear, half-bird, and a bear-like sasquatch. I begrudgingly approve…but just bearly. (LOL)

– This is a fantastic, hilariously awkward video that strikes at the heart of our most hated natural enemy – the Asian female (and also Public Enemy #2, the White males that date them). I just think the segment is hilarious, but there’s so much pent up venom in that video, and so much hate – both explicit and implicit. I can’t even watch it straight through without breaking down in laughter, it kills me so bad. I have to watch it like ten seconds at a time, pause it, compose myself, and then grit my teeth and continue. SO GODDAMN hilariously awkward, it’s like watching Michael Scott or Larry David at the top of their games. It’s absolutely horrible, makes me cringe, yet fills my heart with a dark, familiar type of joy I savour, embrace, and yearn for again. It wouldn’t be completely out of place to have SOME sympathy for Greg though – that Thalia Zucchi girl would probably have been like the hottest woman to ever even make eye contact with him…I know that’d probably be true for me. And that Asian girl IS a bit busted, and on top of that she smokes and can’t speak English – both deal breakers in my book. That doesn’t make it any less of a trainwreck…but there is the possibility that there might be some editorial bias here, so let’s not eliminate the possibility just yet. (“Cracker Chasing Asian Woman that can barely speak English?” – GODDAMN, that’s hateful!) The hate just makes it funnier. Asians are just so racist, male or female…it’s just fantastic. I wouldn’t trade my squinty eyes, mathematical aptitude, and microscopic penis for anything else in the world.

– Well at least we’re the fucking champs at Ikaruga. Akimbo styles! AND HE’S STILL CHAINING! Also, consider the fact that he has to keep one finger on each hand pressed on the fire button, and he’s reaching over to hit a new button every time he bombs or switches colour. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that this has to be one of the top ten most insane things I’ve ever seen another human being do. There’s videos for all five levels up there, go look them up yourself if you enjoy getting your mind blown by fucking insane shit. I played this with my brother, and we can’t even beat the third level with two fully (debatable) functioning brains and four hands between the two of us. I put it right up there with Joey Chesnut breaking the World Record for competitive hot dog eating (taking the Crown Of Gluttony back for Team America from Takeru Kobayashi) and Vince Carter dunking over 7’2″ Frédéric Weis (“He jumped OVER…HIS HEAD!“). God, I miss Bessie.

– Charts and graphs of rap song lyrics. Might be a bit goofy at first glance, but then it’s just plain funny as you get progressively deeper into it and start trying to figure out the songs. The Souls Of Mischief limit and the Big Pun and Nuthin’ But A G Thang pie charts made me laugh out loud. …though I actually laughed at quite a lot of them. There’s just something intrinsically funny about seeing the word “bitches” on a bar graph.

“Bonato gets up with a sloppy pass…Carter, inSIDE -“
“OHHHHHOHOHO!!! OOoooh hoho hoho…WHOOOO!”