Like most other miracles, a proper WAMBAG.COM post requires a mixture of patience, purpose, planning, and also always just a little bit of plain old fashioned luck. You can’t just snap your fingers and willy nilly, a post appears in thin air like that. No sir. Sometimes even if you have several threads up in the air ready to go, the bulk of the work is actually in arranging – or more accurately, coaxing – them into the perfect shape, like an orchestra conductor that directs all the different instruments on stage to speak out with a single voice, to sing and work together in beautiful harmony.

I can’t just open up the Notes.txt file I have on my Desktop and just senselessly dump it out here on this space. That’d just be like crushing an egg into a handful of flour, cramming it into your mouth, and washing it down with two cups of milk. No, you bake that shit into a cake first, and then you sit down and enjoy it properly at a future point in time that calls for it. With a fork and a plate.

You can’t rush genius.

– Probably the best news I’ve heard in like over 15 years…Golden Axe is back! I’ve been burned so many times with evil companies exploiting my childhood nostalgias (ie. I bought both covers for every issue of Dreamwave’s first Transformers miniseries) but finally this time, it’s for real! The original games on the Genesis were as whitebread hack and slash you could get, but therein lay its appeal. One of my Top 15 most cherished childhood activities was throwing my brother’s/cousin’s character at the enemies and stealing all the magic power-ups, even if I already had a full bar. And now a new installment’s been announced, and the Wikipedia page is promising “dismemberments, decapitations and nudity” – this is a happy day for me. At least with Street Fighter 4 there was a chance, however small, that I could just be happy with the arcade port…but now, I have absolutely no choice, I have to get a PS3 now.

– Didn’t we come up with this very same joke like three years ago with Sin City? Two ways to look at this – either we are prophetic futurists of comedy and have a reason to be proud of ourselves, or we are lazy s.o.b.’s that will never accomplish any of our life goals due to chronic and inoperable bouts of laziness. I don’t know about you, but that’s a win-win in my book. (Now that I have mentioned Sin City again, I am legally obligated, as per site policy, to post the link to the trailer.)

– One more Iron Man link. HE IS A DRUNK. IT IS FUNNY.

– Recently, with the baseball season starting up again (and more importantly, the fantasy baseball season as well), I seriously considered dropping $40 for a year long subscription to Baseball Prospectus so that I could check out their PECTOA projections and read their top prospect lists. Eventually, my shame and embarrassment won out, and I decided not to do it. There’s no way anyone would ever find out, but if someone actually saw that $40 charge on my credit card statement, I honestly think I’d rather tell them it was for pornography rather than baseball. Especially if it were my parents; then maybe they’ll stop thinking I was gay.

– I thought this was an oddly hilarious tragedy – a Brazilian priest was lifted up into the sky with hundreds of helium filled balloons this past Sunday…and has not been seen since. My initial reaction to reading the story was “…wow” and honestly, I’m not sure there’s much else I can add on top of that.

– This is a video collage of pretty much every time that Dr. McCoy pronounced someone dead on the original Star Trek series. It’s surprisingly even more entertaining than it sounds; apparently a lot of people died on that show. Similarly, here is the corresponding video of his other catchphrase.

– Gibler. I’m not even sure if I’ve posted this before or not…I need to do a better job of updating and using this Notes.txt file. I love the violent reactions from everyone, just in that “OH COME ON!” type of vein…I can’t get enough of it.

“Are you saying that I’m too happy?”
“What – no! No, you – you are fine. Just…maybe…less with the cat stuff. Okay?”