For the first time ever…a post from a mobile device! Truly a watershed moment in the long and storied history of The WAMBAG.

I am at a restaurant eating (actually, waiting for) all-you-can-eat Japanese food. To prepare for this meal and to best take advantage of the all-you-can-eatness, I kept a special diet throughout the day which I will outline below (I kept notes with the intention to post about it later.)

What I Ate Today, by Choking Yak

11:45 AM – After pissing the entire morning away checking my fantasy baseball team, I have a bag of Miss Vickie’s original potato chips. It will later stand as my entire lunch, as I realize the meeting that I have yet to prepare for is at 1:00 instead of 2:00.

1:51 PM – The 1:00 meeting ends early enough for me to get a Coffee Crisp before my 2:00 (turns out I had two meetings!), again from the vending machine.

5:42 PM – MAN, I am hungry. I want a giant pretzel.

5:46 PM – This giant pretzel is making me thirsty. I buy a can of Mountain Dew from a convenience store because I spontaneously feel like walking on the white side of life. It costs $1.25 but I use the old, “but I only have $1.17 in change” trick which makes me feel cool, until I realize that even $1.17 is way too much for a can of Mountain Dew.

And that is my day so far. Thank you for taking this magical journey along with me.

Do the Dew!