There Is No Safehouse In Stockholm

Yeah that’s right, after seven years of posting, I’m going to change it up and start adding titles to my posts now too. Want to make something of it? Go fuck yourself.

– Part 3 of the Randy documentary (another one!?!)…which kind of takes a weird turn. Man…they are really squeezing every last bit out of everything they can get their hands on. Also, I really want to work one of those cool looking needle-less injectors into a video somehow. …not even, really – I just want to have one, I think it’d be a cool thing to own.

– Actually, I’ve changed my mind – the next big prop we need to get our hands on is a dildo.

– This is a trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine, which stars John Cusack, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, Rob Corddry, and Chevy Chase. Good to see some of those guys get work, and I’m surprised to see how little (if any) straight comedies John “The Sackster” Cusack’s actually done lately – it always seemed like all of his movies were half-comedies anyway. If Funny People is a bust, I guess this will be the next funny one we can look forward to…although the release date is all the way in April 2010, and I’ll likely completely forget about it by that time, just like how I forgot that AL had already posted that Mystery Team trailer back in 2008 when it first showed up.

– This is one of those instant-internet-video-hits making the rounds lately, and just the sheer amount of white people dancing in this is entertaining enough to post. I suppose it’s touching and enjoyable enough at face value, but the real appeal of this to me is the irony of playing a Chris Brown song at a wedding, which is delicious to me. Regardless, I think this is still a kind of played out thing to do at a wedding…but this would be a pretty baller thing to do at a funeral, with people all decked up in Thriller type make-up and costumes. Like MY funeral, for example. And instead of the bride with the big entrance at the end…it would instead feature my eventual murderer (or like a dude in a giant cigarette mascot-type costume if I died of lung cancer or whatever), and people would cheer or jeer to their own preference. I mean yeah…people do Thriller at weddings all the time…but why not for funerals? Isn’t that a much more appropriate setting? Imagine if Michael Jackson had actually faked his death, and then jumped out of his coffin sitting at center stage during his memorial at the Staples Center, and right into a Thriller routine? Not even jumped out…like what if he had been in a chamber under the stage floor the entire time and was hoisted up by cables so that he could have EXPLODED out of his coffin on cue, in a shower of firework sparks and confetti? Completely inappropriate, but you would not be able to deny that it would have been the absolute craziest celebrity moment of ALL TIME. Just try and top that – you can’t!

(One possible hypothetical comparable would maybe be like in 10 years, if Beyonce got like Queen Latifah or Aretha Franklin fat and entered into a new and still successful but definitely diminished stage of her career…and then while onstage at some huge future venue, suddenly ripped off a synthetic fat suit to reveal that she had been secretly working out hardcore for the last few years to recapture her 2009 body, and immediately jumped into a rendition of Single Ladies, complete with black leotard and everything. I think that would have to be up there.)

Insane people are already petitioning for him to be nominated posthumously for a Nobel Peace Prize just weeks after the entire world had written him off as a freak and a child molester, and all just for dying regularly. Just try and imagine what would have actually happened if he had pulled of a fake death xx Thriller dance xx killer comeback album combo…it’s unfathomable.

Oh, I just orgasmed onstage from your white hatred.