I Am…I Said – Neil Diamond

Last week marked the longest time I’ve ever lived with some semblance of independence. My parents once left the house to me for a couple of weeks, but my mother made enough precooked food to feed a village and I still had plenty of contact with friends and family. Derek had to go out of town last month, but that was just for a weekend. This time he trusted me with the apartment for a whole week. A scary thought, I know. I watched a lot of basketball. I must have watched eight or nine games in their entirety. I also managed to catch WEC 47, which was vicious and another excellent card in what has been a brilliant first quarter of the MMA calendar so far. I think I might have slept through an entire day too or I dreamed that I did. I used to think my constant fatigue was a result of a carbon monoxide leak in my house, but there might be something seriously wrong with me. Other than that, I went to the gym and that was about it. On one occasion I did wander over to the St. Vital Centre. I may have been lost. The parking lot there is huge and I attempted to orient myself by climbing on top of one of the big snow hills that had formed. I was careful with my footing and took the time to breathe in the sweet Winnipeg air at the peak. For a moment, I imagined myself as some kind of local Sherpa and that if I kept my eyes closed and kept walking straight I could stay up there forever. I almost set up a camp, but thought better of it and came down. It troubles me that these fantasies are so rare and so fleeting these days.

*****

A hipster performance called Machine Machine Machine that my niece sent me and the video for Stillness Is The Move by Dirty Projectors just because.

There must be a word for it…the thing that lets you know time is happening. Is there a word?
Change.
Oh. I was afraid of that.