That Gay Guy From LA Confidential

I cannot be the only guy that thinks that show The Mentalist has a really stupid title. I see “mentalist” and I think of immature derogatory terms like “gaylord” or “dickweed” – the show might as well be called The Stupid Retarded Guy, “mentalist” means the same thing to me anyway.

Where am I going with this? I don’t really know, let’s just move onto the links.

– This is a pretty crazy story, regarding a man, who in very boring fashion, gave his wife an iPad for her birthday. But to mix things up, he covered it in chocolate to throw off suspicion. Which is actually a pretty good idea…if I had access to some friendly chocolate shop employees, I’d probably cover all my gifts in chocolate first too, just to do it. Not even gifts, just…like, things. Here’s my resume, Mr. Potential Employer…please note that it is COVERED IN CHOCOLATE and that you must eat through the top layer before you can review my credentials for this position. (What’s that? You’re diabetic? Well okay, I guess this interview is over then, thanks for your time.) Hey, I am like a medical doctor and you have some horrible disease…here is the only thing in the world that can cure you, the vaccine is in this syringe which is in turn INSIDE A LAYER OF DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE that you must eat through before you can inject yourself with it. (What’s that? You’re diabetic? Well then you are dead!)

This would be so much cooler if it wasn’t from an Asian female/ugly white guy couple, which is inherently played out and thus renders anything that they do super lame before they even do it.

– Speaking of mixed interracial Asian/white couples and how not awesome they are, here is a very awesome clip of high WAMBAG.COM priestess Shania Twain being completely smitten by American Idol contestant John Park. Robert Lange what is wrong with you, come on.

– Also awesome, Ice Cube performing Straight Outta Compton with The Roots on the set of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, apparently in the audience warm up portion preceding the taping of the actual show. My only question is if you open with something this good, won’t the rest of the show suck in comparison? “Boo! Just play Straight Outta Compton again!”

– This has been making the rounds lately, but it’s still a really nifty write-up to read – the story of the reoccurring prop newspaper. Essentially the physical prop version of the Wilhelm Scream. Ed O’Neil has been reading the same paper for like ten years…pretty funny.

– Here’s some clips from the short lived British series Walk On The Wild Side, a show where they just recorded stupid voiceovers on top of assorted scenes of nature footage. Those magnificent bastards…how can they take such a stupid simple gag and string it out to such hilarious extremes? At first I thought this was Steve Coogan, of I’m Alan Partridge fame, since (a) he is also British, and (b) it very closely resembles this other similar bit from his show…but apparently it is not. Regardless, I would highly recommend killing some time going through the related Alan Partridge clips there, or even just watching the whole damn series. There’s only two seasons of six episodes each (released five years apart), and it is an absolutely fantastic show, full of that stupid irrelevant English retardedness that we all love so much.

No way you big spastic, you’re a mentalist!