The Judge Of All The Earth

So Lonely Was The Ballad – Jamie T

I can be too hard on people sometimes. I’m aware of this. Once, for a grade school yearbook profile or something, I remember listing one of my “Dislikes” as “Judgmental hypocrites.” Get it? I hate people judging others, but I was clearly judging others! Ha! One of many, many failed attempts at wit in my youth. The difference is that back then such attempts at philosophizing could be considered misguided at worst, cute at best; now, my tendency to get overworked over every little thing is just damaging.

It’s no secret that my friend Shirley drives me crazy. Without rehashing the history of our friendship, I’ll just say that she’s the classic friend who can raise you to the highest of highs, but also bring you down to the lowest of lows. Either way, she remains oblivious. Most of the time, this arrangement works for me. For the last few months, it has not. Ever since I got back from Winnipeg, I’ve probably been more messed up in the head than ever. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it has occasionally been a very bad thing and if it wasn’t for the constant presence of friends and family I would definitely be sinking into a deep funk by now. I’ve become acutely aware of the people in my life who are always there for me even if they don’t realize the support they’re providing, you know what I mean? When I’m down, good company always seems to find me.

That’s probably why it stings me when I consciously reach out to somebody and get ignored. Shirley has been living at her apartment downtown for several months and in all that time, she never thought to invite me over. That’s not even a friendship issue, that’s just a matter of decency. I have people I hate who I’ve had over to my house because that’s just how these things are done. But whatever. I’d spoken to her a couple of times since my return, once to let her know I was back and once on her birthday. Both times I was under the impression that she would get back to me when she was back in Toronto and had some free time. I understand as I’ve always known her to lead a pretty hectic life. Up until a couple of weeks ago, there was no correspondence and all of a sudden, I know what time it is…so to speak. Busy or not, when something is important enough, you make the time. When something is important enough, you make the time.

Therein lies the problem.

I had a chance to hang out with Shirley recently and we had a wonderful time. I’m ashamed to admit that the whole time I was gripping tightly to the idea of telling her off. So even though everything seemed fine, when the evening was over I decided to tell her what was what. I don’t like to attack people or make people feel bad, but I also don’t like to keep personal problems to myself especially when it might lead to me passively lashing out at this person whenever I see them. Honesty is the best policy. Unfortunately, I probably wasn’t as forceful or convincing as I would like to have been, but we rarely are when we plan these things so far ahead of time. What struck me during the whole conversation was the lack of recognition in her face. I blame myself for not being able to properly express how hurt I was that she’d seemingly ignored me for so long. She apologized and she couldn’t explain why she hadn’t been around and really, that’s good enough for me. What is there to be said when there is such a massive disconnect between how two people view a relationship? I was deeply, deeply offended by her neglect of our friendship and she hadn’t noticed until I brought it up. She’s not going to magically grasp the situation just because I’m bitching about it.

The lesson to be taken from this is that I tend to hold people to a standard that is unfair to them. It’s a mistake that I won’t be so quick to make again. Let’s just file this in the Fool me once… department and move on, shall we?

*****

Baseball bat violin. No, that’s not a Beck song, it’s an actual thing.

This Double Rainbow video is making the rounds so I figured we should get on this while we can. I peed myself after about thirty seconds. Some of the best comments:

is this guy a Rainbow Goblin?

Next time you have a profound spiritual experience, perhaps you should not grab the camera and start jacking off, thus making the moment more special.

And, of course:

I saw a double rainbow and I… JIZZED IN MAH PANTS!

A happy Canada Day and 4th of July weekend to all!

We need to talk about protection.
I don’t think it’s gonna get that far, Roan.
I mean a gun. Why do you think she’s known as the ‘Black Widow’?
She’s African-American and her husband died.