Don’t Yunel I’m Loco?

I know you’ve all been refreshing this page constantly all morning waiting to get my reactions to the Yunel Escobar trade. It’s a wicked smart trade, I love it. Alex Gonzalez was great this year, and I’m happy that he gets to participate in meaningful games this September with the Braves. But he’s 33 and was never part of our long term plans anyway, so this is a pretty decent deal for a talented young player currently at his lowest value. Yunel Escobar is essentially the shortstop version of Alex Rios (who, by the way, is killing it in Chicago this year) – all the talent in the world, questionable work ethic and suspected headcase, a lot of flash on the field. So it’s only a matter of time before Jays fans start killing him too, because the idiots here only appreciate grit and never talent. Escobar is also pretty much the opposite of Alex Gonzalez offensively – he’s got a superb career OBP of .370 whereas Gonzalez (despite his mind blowing 17 homers in half a season) is only getting on base at a .296 clip this year. Jays fans hate walks as well, so this is gonna be great.

Escobar’s only four months younger than Rios, although he will be cost controlled until 2013, only arbitration eligible for the first time this year. So no real financial risk if it turns out he’s a bust. The ultimate sell high, buy low move…Alex Anthopoulos is a pimp, I love this guy. Great job signing Alex Gonzalez (even though I hated it at the time) and great job flipping him as well.

Also, Hedo Turkuglo is officially out of town. I am walking on sunshine right now.

Oh wait, what? No one cares about sports? Okey doke, let’s move on.

– Okay, one more sports bit first before we truly move on…this is a clip from a Mariners game last week where Ichiro Suzuki bumps into a fan while trying to chase down a foul ball. Just once in my life, I wish I could get such a joyous reaction out of a white girl after elbowing her in the face, like Ichiro did. Just once. Also amusing to me…the Mariners radio crew once again unable to control their giggling, and the lack of expression from the friend next to her with the Mariners t-shirt, who is probably like inwardly livid with hatred and jealously – she’s probably the real hardcore Mariners fan (which is a punishment in itself) wondering why it wasn’t her in that seat and her getting all that awesome swag afterward. They probably never talked again after this game.

– Okay, okay, just one more sports bit. During last night’s ESPY Awards, Steve Carell and Paul Rudd host a “Decision” of their own. Reactions: First, that is a crazy Pau Gasol type beard on Paul Rudd. Wow, where did that come from? Second, the Bloomin’ Onion really is fantastic, and now after watching that I really want to go there as well. Seriously, let’s book a day, we’ll all go have steak. 100% serious.

– While we’re here, please enjoy Steve Carell’s recent appearance on The Colbert Report where they reprise an installment of Even Steven.

– Anne Sellors is known around the internet for having the most depressing IMDB page of all time…although I leave it up to you to decide for yourself whether that’s truly the most depressing IMDB page or not. Although the true beauty for this link is the five page long comments section which includes such notables as “Fantastic Performance” and “I HEARD SHE WAS DOING THIS LOVE ON BROADWAY, NOW”. Fantastic stuff.

– Check out this article about how due to new revolutionary technology, you will be able to enjoy the new Thor and Captain America movies in three dimensions. Also included is photo from the set of Thor. ’nuff said. (HAHAHAHA)

Free agent forward Hedo Turkoglu changed his mind Friday and decided not to join the Portland Trail Blazers, opting instead to accept a five-year $53 million offer from the Toronto Raptors, sources told ESPN.com.