31 Days Of Summer

I keep forgetting that August 31st exists for some reason. I know, it’s kind of sad considering how I’ve seen over two dozen Augusts already, and they don’t really change that often like with February. And yet, it happens. I get to August 30th and I think that’s it for the summer.

Maybe because this whole back-to-back 31-day-months thing with July keeps throwing me off every year. I thought it was September already today, so I brought my September Metropass with me and left the August one at home.

Excellent work, brain. I’m going to stab you with a Q-Tip when I get back.

– Have you all been watching Important Things with Demetri Martin? Because you should.

– At first I thought this brand new KFC Skinwich was actually a real item. But I think I believed it was real only because I wanted it to be real. But then I started looking at the the locations of the alleged prototype stores wanting to plan roadtrips to them…and it was then I realized that I had been tricked.

A hoax! On the internet! Who would have thought!?!

My heart…it is now broken. Figuratively speaking at least, not in a real physical way like if I had actually eaten one of these.

– I’m pretty sure this Three Okami Sun shirt is pretty much the most ironically awesome thing you could ever get at a comic convention. Conventions are always tricky like that, forever balancing the line that separates irony from ignorance. Including Amaterasu as a character in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is also one of the cooler video game happenings in recent memory…or at least it would be if I gave a shit about that game. Fuck that game. My hate is pure and it is strong.

– Scott Pilgrim vs. The Matrix is a trailer mash-up combining…uh…well, Scott Pilgrim and The Matrix. I post it only because I think it’s one of the better edited ones I’ve seen recently, although how it ranks up against this Dumb & Dumber one is still something I’m undecided on. By the way, Scott Pilgrim‘s weekend gross halved again to $2.5 million, the same weekend that saw this generation’s Heat debut at #1 with $20.5 million. Also, in two weeks Vampires Suck ($20 million budget + a couple bucks for a dozen television spots) has already managed to earn more than Scott Pilgrim ($60 million budget + probable $100+ million in marketing) has in three. Hi-larious! This is why we can never have nice things.

To be honest though, the more I hear about Takers the more I want to watch it. The day that black people stop remaking old white movies with rap and pop stars will be a sad, sad day indeed. There is no one rooting harder for TI’s acting career to take off than I. Why? Because I want him to play the inevitable titular role in Citizen Keyon, a roman a clef examining the life and legacy of a wealthy rap mogul who cryptically pines for his old ghetto blaster while on his deathbed.

Also, it is a comedy.

Roses are red, violets are blue…fuck you whore.