There is something profoundly depressing about eating microwaved ham and cheese sandwiches and watching downloaded television shows on the computer at 1:30 AM alone in your apartment.

And by “profoundly depressing” I, of course, actually mean “abso-fuckin-lutely aces.”


Never give up on your dreams, kids. I think that’s what Justin Bieber said once or something.

– I’m really enjoying this new adidas Fast Don’t Lie campaign with Dr. Ken aka “Slim Chin.” This is the television spot, featuring his freaky lady pyramid.

– Awesome things that they’re going to make into movies, as of this past month…The Family Circus (OOOOOH I LOVE IT!!!), the Ouija board (Like Jumanji, but spoooooookier!), and Tintin (Tintin?). Also, they’ve apparently finished making Taken 2 already – “The first time they took his daughter. This time…they took his memory.” Also, I am totally loving Liam Neeson’s reinvention as an old fogey action hero instead of the grizzled old mentor figure (ie. Ra’s al Ghul, Aslan, Qui-Gon Jinn, your father from Fallout 3).

– In the belated spirit of Halloween, I thought we should all take this opportunity to reexamine the things that make the Japanese simultaneously the greatest and also the most horrifying people in the world. It feels wrong to scare children like this. And yet…the fear of a child is the most delightful type of fear there is. So it must be done. For the sake of my entertainment, and the entertainment of the Japanese people.

– And to keep it going, because reveling in the abject terror of others is entertaining, here is a video of an Ellen DeGeneres Show writer being sent to a haunted house maze. If people screaming endlessly entertains you – and it should – then this is a pretty good batch of links.

– One of the things I always loved about trick or treating was the elaborate lawn/front porch setups. The more fake zombie graves and chalk outlines the better. And the best ones were always the ones where they would dress up as a scarecrow or something and participate in their elaborate Halloween lawn scenes themselves. Stuffing their clothes with enough dead leaves to hide the body contours that would betray them as actual human beings and lying perfectly still to scare passerbies…that is the last joy of the suburban dad. I don’t have too many ambitions and goals for the future, but scaring young trick or treaters that come to my house for candy is definitely one of them. Always wanted to do it. But this guy…damn. I mean…that’s raising the bar. The ultimate apex of holiday related streetside performance art. That is true dedication to your craft. 100% commitment. I can only hope to feel so dedicated to something as that man was.

Or I suppose it’s just possible he was mentally ill like the article notes…but cynicism isn’t part of the Halloween spirit.

“Oh shit, I’m going to be sick.”
“Go, do it. Feel it, let it out.”
“Let’s just get out – let’s just get out of here.”
“Don’t flush.”



Destined to fight the world's evil, The WAMBAG endures massive battles involving impossible stunts, races on horse-pulled carriages, and the desecration of enchanting medieval castles (all done with dizzying computer graphics). Not only does the eye candy keep on coming, the tongue-in-cheek writing and deep Transylvanian accents perfect the film with a dose of dark humor.



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