Green Lantern Sucked

Over the last two weeks or so, I’ve seen notices in my building notifying residents about the parking of “technical support” vehicles around our local streets to facilitate film productions.

Welcome to downtown Toronto! Where the movies are made and movie magic happens!

The first one in early June was a notice that “interior scenes” were being filmed at the Ontario Court of Justice near my place, for a NBC/Universal television series Suits. “This fast paced cutting edge drama follows the stories of the attorneys at a top Manhattan Law firm.” So…there’s that. The only noteworthy thing I got from the Wikipedia article was that it features Gina Torres. Who was in Firefly, which I enjoyed.

And then this week, a notice about “exterior dialogue scenes” for “the independent feature film entitled COBU 3D starring Derek Hough (‘Dancing with the Stars‘) and international Asian pop star BoA. The story is about a pair of star-crossed dancers in New York who find themselves at the center of a bitter rivalry between their brothers’ underground dance clubs, like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.” Yup, a 3D dance version of Romeo and Juliet with an Asian girl and a white guy. Pretty amazing.

ARE YOU AS EXCITED AS ME YET

Though I’m not going to lie, I think I might actually be interested in watching these movies just because I remember how much of a thrill I got from watching Incredible Hulk, which was filmed at the University of Toronto and Yonge Street. From time to time I still see people taking pictures of Zanzibar, and I’m still not entirely sure why. Are they big Hulk fans? Is it an internationally renown strip club? Or is it just really visually impressive on its own merits? One day I will stop and ask. I mean I still get a kick out of seeing Chris Farley run around Hart House, and I’ve seen that movie like seven hundred thousand times. I am just a sucker like that.

Even Kick-Ass and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World were pretty cool…even though Scott Pilgrim was specifically supposed to be based in Toronto, and Kick-Ass is such a shitty piece of hot garbage that I am angry at myself for even acknowledging it’s existence here. I think it’s mainly just an overdeveloped inferiority complex, kind of like how I still wish major American sports networks talked about Toronto teams more…even though there are like 29 other, more interesting/American teams in each league.

Regardless, my life is now inexplicably tied to Suits and COBU 3D. I may be unable to resist the locale driven curiosity that will slowly draw me in, tugging on my mind with the relentless ebb of a sun’s gravitational pull. Just please don’t judge me when it inevitably happens.

The bigger you are, the quicker you burn.