The Mayor Of Triple Town

Let’s just move along without acknowledinging the massive Mass Effect 3 shaped entity in the room, I just don’t want to talk about it for fear of it being spoiled for me. Only until I can spoil it for other people will we resume normal Mass Effect related discussion.

I thought up a Triple Town related comic, in which an infant is sitting alone while their parents are overheard in the next room giving birth to their next child, entirely off-panel. “Push, Mrs. Hutchinson, you’re almost there!” The doctor is surprised – he discovers that he is actually delivering twins, a fact unanticipated by the parents. As he happily informs them of this miracle, the husband’s mood suddenly shifts to horror – “Wait, what? There’s two babies in there!?! NO!” The first baby then vanishes in a familiar POP! and there is nothing but screams eminating from off-panel as presumably a fully grown man emerges from the womb, in classic Ted Brogan fashion.

I would have drawn it myself, but I don’t really know how to draw a baby. That’s pretty much the only reason that stopped me. But that’s how I believe things work for the citizens of Triple Town.

The post title is in reference to me. The new high score is now 577,780 and you can all suck it, gay boys.

– Check out this crazy auction for all the props and stuff used in the Captain America movie. The sheer scope of items is pretty impressive, and it’s always interesting to take a look at this side of movie magic. There are also some hilariously wacky items for sale. Like the prosthetic silicon feet-shoes Chris Evans wore near the beginning of the movie (you mean he didn’t actually run through the streets barefoot!?!) for three hunny. That’s pretty awesome. Wouldn’t you want to own this? Also buy one of the Cosmic Cubes used in the movie! A square block of plastic (sorry, “resin”) that is indistinguishable from just a normal shitty paperweight can be yours for approximately a thousand dollars. Whoop whoop!

Although I will say, the only thing that’s really stopped me from buying the Red Skull’s desk chair is because I’ve been a bit too lazy to look into the shipping details. But honestly…$250 isn’t that crazy, considering some of the designer furniture stores around here. Tell me truly – now that you know this exists, would you ever rather instead pay $209 for this shitty NOMINELL swivel chair from IKEA? IKEA might be like the modern real life version of Hydra anyway, so why not pay just a little more for authenticity?

Actually, now that I think about it, I kind of really want to buy that chair now.

– I’m more than a little surprised that Batman Running Away From Shit doesn’t get old as quickly as I would have thought. This one with the imploding football field from the Dark Knight Rises trailer gets extra points for relevance.

– I’m reading this interview Bill Simmons had with Obama and I am pretty entertained. He is definitely the coolest US President I’ve seen in my lifetime, although Bill Clinton comes really close with getting a hummer in the White House and then denying it. I can’t speak for Obama’s political moves that have left so many disadvantaged bankers all “malaisey”, but jumping on the Jeremy Lin wagon early…that certainly doesn’t hurt your coolness quotient. No white President’s crossing over Chris Paul, let’s just leave it at that.

– Have you seen this trailer for the new trailer (seriously?) for Prometheus? And this crazy clip of Guy Pearce as CEO Peter Weyland of the pre-Weyland-Yutani merger Weyland Corporation? Pretty good stuff. Also, just a reminder, this is NOT a prequel of Alien, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with those movies, I cannot possible fathom how people are jumping to such a wild and baseless conclusion.

“Mr. Jordan! Are you trying to kill Mr. Fallon with that hammer?”
“What the hell! Is a Rule of Threes thing?”