Love The Ball Handler

I ate a donut today, and God it was so delicious. It was free too, so it made it even better.

– Forget Anchorman 2 – the premiere comedy everyone should be anticipating a comeback sequel from is Twins. Yes, that 1988 classic where Ahnuld and Danny DeVito play fraternal twins is adding another long lost brother to the mix, Eddie Murphy, to make it Triplets. I know Hollywood goes overboard sometimes looking to produce movies loosely based on questionable IPs in some wacky effort to build name recognition before the movie even comes out…but I think this time they definitely nailed it. Based on Eddie Murphy’s involvement, a G-rated comedy makes sense, with DeVito’s (or his voice’s) success with The Lorax making a shit poop ton of money. Similarly, I can only imagine what sort of action or sci-fi scripts that Ahnuld turned down during all those years that he was too busy as a real life governor of an American state, but after so many years away, I would think that he’d be eager to first return to his Jingle All the Way, Kindergarten Cop kid movie roots. Returning to the Twins universe was obviously very high up on his list as well, as it should be.

– Blue Jays are back, baby. I don’t know why people are always so confused about why I love baseball, I mean just look at stuff like this – I mean there’s graphs in there, there’s data points, statistics…it doesn’t even feel like a sport to me anymore, it’s like a video game. Seeing the shift take away Adrian Gonzalez’s shot up the middle (and Brett Lawrie gunning him down from what is actually shallow center field at that point) actually gets me sexually aroused. Empirical data used in practical ways, UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH that’s good. And I read shit like this all the time, it gets me going.

And it’s not even purely baseball, I mean check out the shot chart on this baby, indicating that Kevin Love is just as good (or actually better) at shooting threes from the wing rather than just the corner, and can shoot them pulling up off the dribble…meaning that crafty old Rick Adelman can use him as the ball handler in high pick-and-rolls for open threes. That’s exciting to me because he’s a power forward!

“It’s a fun play that can be effective with maybe two power forwards in this league, and Kevin Love is one of them.”

Guess who the other one is? That’s right, the other white power forward, this guy!

Except only one of them averaged like 30/14 in March while the other’s career rebounding average is 4.9 boards a game…and only one of them is seven feet tall (not the one you’d think). Does hating Andrea Bargnani cause you to appreciate Kevin Love more? It’s hard to tell because there’s so many legitimate reasons to like him. For example, his SLAM cover with Ricky Rubio. In comparison to Kevin Garnett’s 1997 cover with Stephon Marbury. The past and present Minnesotan star point guard/power forward duo…except one pair is white and one pair is (SUPER) black! Bonus: I don’t know what is the funnier headline – “THE BULLS? AGAIN?” or “JEREMY LIN IS THE NEW KING OF NEW YORK” – both are just so ironically delicious in their own ways.

How do people live in this world without being able to appreciate stuff like this? Can’t imagine life like that.

– Another great thing that the world of sports gives us – the insanity of competition that manifests itself in our tendencies to arbitrarily rank and compare everything that exists in the world. Mad Men Power Rankings is a good example. The linked article is from the latest episode, so obviously there is a spoilage warning in effect here. Find your way to previous episodes linked therein. But yes, Sally Draper is definitely turning into a serial killer right before our very eyes. I’m so proud.

– If PAX has taught be anything about the coming year, is that two things will be huge. One, Quantum Conundrum looks really fun, it’s like Portal but where you switch into different states of reality instead of a portal. Honestly the whole thing just seems like a Portal mod (which is meant as a compliment), which is probably due to the fact that it’s made by the lead designer of Portal (and the Left 4 Dead‘s). I’m trying to think of ways for a woman to have more attractive attributes than that, and I got nothing. Her brain makes her hot, like Peggy Olson. Yes, you go and plunder Roger Sterling’s apparent bottomless pants pockets, yessssssssssUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHnotagain.

Second next big thing that PAX showed me – feet shoes. Or whatever they call these things. I saw like a dozen separate, otherwise normal looking people wearing these. I had no idea they were even like a thing prior to this weekend, nevermind that people actually wore them out in public. This blew my fucking mind. I gotta jump in on this fad (feet first, HAHA!) and get me some of those authentic Captain America feet shoes. Now those are some fresh kicks.

Also, I saw a dude who was walking around on the convention floor with a Virtual Boy harnessed to him. I have no idea why, it wasn’t even on or anything, he was just doing it.

– This is a wacky video with Danny Pudi (including a cameo of Steven “Glenn” Yeun!). Good on him for exploring alternate stuff like Alison Brie here, covering some Childish Gambino song (that Troy guy needs to figure out something non-Community to do as well just in case). I mean if that Mad Men thing flops, she’s got to find some way to support herself when her network sitcom gets canned because it’s too busy alienating casual viewers with insane, awesome Ken Burns style documentary episodes.

Similarly, is 30 Rock dropping Bad Doctor lines again? Jesus, guys, come on. I don’t know if it’s Parns or Tina, but you guys better cool it before you end up like the others.

Now, full disclosure – I lost your ring at a BoDeans concert.