Oh that’s right – I have a website.

To make up for it, here is a disturbingly intimate view into the life of Choking Yak. The things I share with you now have never been fully revealed to anyone before. You have been warned.

I give you…pictures of what’s inside my pants…pockets.

And then the contents of my wallet.

More regarding my lucky 7 of spades (I just call it lucky, I don’t really think it’s actually lucky), because people always look at me weirdly when they find that in there, like it’s not a normal thing to have the 7 of spades in your wallet or something…high school, lunch time, Big 2, cafeteria, every, single, day. That eventually got a little bit boring, so I started cheating like crazy to spice it up, see what I could get away with before people noticed. Suffice to say, I got away with a lot. Pretty easy as long as you keep it to rounds during when it’s your turn to shuffle. I’d put down a 3,4,5,6 on top of an old pair of 7’s as a straight, tuck cards under my hat while pretending to scratch the back of my head, tuck a diamond in a heart flush…it probably helped that everyone there was so trusting and stupid.

So one time I stole a 7 of spades – just a random card, no special sentimental meaning, in case I needed it for a flush or something – and lunch ended while it was still tucked in my hat. So I forgot to give it back. I don’t even remember who it belongs to anymore.

That was like eight years ago.

Anyway…I’ve always felt that knowing the contents of a man’s wallet ranks somewhere between “getting drunk with them” and “having homosexual relations with them” on the Guy Intimacy Scale. So now I have laid bare the contents of my wallet for all the internet to see. And we are all closer now because of it.

I will now sell four copies of “The Three E.P.’s” by The Beta Band.