A Random July Post

Check it out, another television series is being filmed in my neighbourhood – check out this posting in my building that describes what is actually being shot.

“Saving Hope” is a t.v. pilot that follows Doctor Alex Reid & Charles Harris as they are about to tie the knot. The story opens with their taxi ride that ends up putting Charles in his hospital as an ICU patient, while Alex watches over her fiance with hope and fear. Meanwhile, life moves on at Hope Zion Hospital, and we begin to meet the other doctors, surgeons, nursing staff and patients, who each face their own challenges and seek out hope every day.

Do you get it!?! It is called Saving Hope! I love these write-ups! Who is the lowly intern that gets stuck writing these? Or is it like a deliberate blurb that some highly paid marketing executive punches up? I want to know!

Apparently the same girl that will play Dr. Alex Reid is Lois Lane from that Superman show? That is really the only thing I found out about this project. I guess I have to watch this now too because of the locale…?

– Coming soon on Kinect and Wii, introducing the hottest new dance game…The Black Eyed Peas Experience. I don’t even know where to start, there’s just so much to enjoy. All I’m going to say is that someone has a birthday coming up in August that does not have this game. What you choose to do with this information is entirely up to you.

– Smoking cures arthritis! Or at least helps it, whatever. Apparently the sweet, sweet nicotine stimulates joint cartilage cells…or something, whatever. My path is clear to me now. Heart attacks, strokes, emphysema, cancer, hypertension, and impotence be damned – osteoarthritis will never claim me!

All I can think of now is how like a dozen Don Drapers across America are holding their whiskeys and napping on their office couches trying to think up new slogans and marketing campaigns about how smoking prevents later life joint replacement surgeries. If you don’t think this is a huge win for Big Tobacco, then you are a damned fool. A damned fool!

– You are also a fool if you thought you’d only be buying a Capcom game once. Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3! It felt like only yesterday that I rededicated myself to playing fighting games…failed…and then swore never to play them ever again. Now we get to do the whole thing over again. I didn’t see Phoenix Wright coming (that actually seems pretty awesome), but I was calling Iron Fist from the beginning, that guy just fits right into a fighting game. And wow, Nova and Rocket Raccoon…Marvel really wants to push their B-level cosmic dudes.

Fuck this game, fuck everything about it. Valve was right, there is never a reason to make the third iteration of any game, it’s too much.

– In unrelated news, BioWare will be making a trailer for Mass Effect 3 featuring the Female Commander Shepard. Apparently only 18% of Mass Effect players have used the Female Shepard? That is nutso, you are missing out on like half the game experience without her! I can’t even imagine playing this game without my super-ethnic-Angelina-Jolie-looking Shepard. Also, Diablo 3 beta information or whatever will be announced August 1st as they continue to target a 2011 release. Third time’s a charm!

– Apparently a teaser for the third Nolan-helmed Batman movie was released that features some old dude in a hospital bed and like 0.23 seconds of new footage. Since you are not retarded and have access to the internet, I will leave you to find it for yourself. Instead, I am going to post the trailer for Jack and Jill, straight out of the collection of fake George Simmons movies from Funny People. This is some serious meta-comedy stuff, and it is goddamn hilarious. Meanwhile, Happy Madison continues to dominate the kiddy comedy box office, and I doubt this will be any different.

– In yet another move shockingly short on foresight, scientists have tought computers how to read…by teaching them how to play Civilization II, the best of all the Civilizations! Apparently by reading the game manual, computers were able to improve their win rates against the normal game AI from 49% to 79%. The worse part of it all is the computers are taught to find the strategy leading to the quickest victory condition, which causes them to develop a bias towards an early military rush versus the peaceful space colonization victory condition. WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED? Once they develop a taste of dominanting rival civilizations, you know there’s no coming back from that.

– Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon return again with another history of rap mash-up. Absolutely delightful – you can actually hear how white the crowd is just by going off their reactions to the songs. I suggest turning down the brightness of your monitors before they pan to the crowd shot at the end, lest it sear your corneas.

…except for that one ethnic dude in the neck brace. You saw him too, right? Just so bizarre – was he like a show actor that was planted there already for a previous skit? That was by far the most delightful portion of that entire video.

“The way I heard it, DC police found you naked, laying in Lincoln’s crotch, covered in nicotine patches with a sign across your chest that said – ”
“He doesn’t need to hear the details.”
“It was some pretty fucked up shit.”