Chumbawamba: The Greatest Band In The World

I was so proud that we managed to get up eight entire posts in August; the highest total in over a year. I thought it’d be the start of a new trend upwards again, back to the glory days of The WAMBAG. Instead, we scratch out a paltry single post (technically two…but honestly, look at that last post, that counts as a half at most) for October, which is the lowest monthly total in the entire storied history of this site. It wasn’t this bad even when I almost managed to destroy the site with a virus that I had caught while browsing illegal Malaysian bear pornography. I’m looking at the Archive sidebar there, seeing monthly post totals in the 20’s and 30’s back in the early 2000’s and I have absolutely no idea how that was ever done.

Ah well. You get knocked down, but you get back up again. Back to business.

– So I’m a good week into this Movember thing (not counting my unofficial running head start), and I’ve already managed to brainwash myself into thinking this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I’m not going to lie, I imagine once this moustache grows out, it’s going to feel pretty great.

– I know that a huge (some might say “incalculable”) contingent of WAMBAG.COM readers are following the NBA lockout very closely. The latest reports are that the owners have put an offer on the table for a 50/50 split of basketball related income that expires Wednesday, after which they’ll go back to 47%. The players union is reportedly unwilling to go below 52.5%, and while it does seem ridiculous to haggle over just a few percentage points, considering the fact that the BRI for the 2009-2010 season was in excess of $3.6 billion…a few percentage points turns into hundreds of millions of dollars over the term of the next CBA. Regardless, player salaries would have ended up somewhere around $1.8 billion this season so canceling more games is senseless for the players. We’ve already seen a third of the season vanish, equating to something in the neighbourhood of $600 million in lost player salaries. The 2.5% percent of BRI they’re holding out for is worth only about $90 million in comparison. Holding out and canceling more games to get a slightly better split of BRI makes no economic sense for the players union…but this kind of thinking is hardly unique to NBA players. It’s a fundamentally “unfair” deal, but that’s what happens when you have zero leverage against billionaires who are independently wealthy even without the NBA (unlike some players). That’s why I think we’re likely going to see this thing resolved when the players accept this deal on Wednesday…or they won’t, and we’ll say goodbye to the entire 2010-2011 season.

One of the more entertaining stories here is that one of the many hardliners on the owners side is reported to be Michael Jordan, majority owner of the Charlotte Bobcats. I think he’s just figured out another way to antagonize current players and former on-court opponents. I love it. The shoe line named after him still continues to make excellent commercials though. If you want one of those Jewish Under 40 League t-shirts, here’s where to get one. I’d have one already if it weren’t for…you know, all the antisemitic blood that courses though my veins.

– Speaking of how wonderful Jewish people are and 50/50 splits, metahuman Joseph Gordon-Levit was apparently at some university performing a cover of R Kelly’s Ignition…? Seriously? Come on, the musical aptitude just seems excessive at this point. It is scary how fast he is closing in on Justin Timberlake as the man all ladies want to be with and all guys want to be (with).

– Amazing Corolla commercial. Uploaded over a year ago, only getting popular now. Strange how the internet works.

– Similarly, after four years, David Blaine’s back! They are so stupid, but God do I love them. Do you want to catch up on the first three parts? Here you go, one two three! Do you remember one of the guys from an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia bit? Well you do now.

– Speaking of which…did you know that Charlie Day hosted last weekend’s SNL? How? Why? Who knows! The crazy thing is, it was actually the highest rated episode all month, since Melissa McCarthy (aka the fat chick from Bridesmaids). Maybe that says something about stocking the show with hosts based on comedic talent over celebrity fame…but specifically what it says about that, I am clueless about. Or maybe people just really love Maroon 5 and Lady Antebellum. Is the actual episode worth watching? Absolutely not. The monologue has a Danny Devito cameo and a song, and then it’s just straight downhill after that. Your time would be better spent just rewatching another episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia again. Specifically, Chardee MacDennis: The Game Of Games might be one of the greatest episodes of the show I’ve watched in years. All four principles are as insane and manic as they have ever been at any point throughout the entire series, the ever changing straight man and audience surrogate role jumps to Frank, and the Dee and Dennis team-ups are always excellent. And this is a bottle episode! The setup is ludicrous and the ending is as always fittingly irredeemable…you can’t get more Always Sunny than this. You know it’s a good show when they give away a gag at the beginning of the episode and it still makes you laugh…Fat Mac trying to rip the board off is a tough visual to beat. Bravo.

Gentlemen…suck my dick.