Deinonychus Souls

I think I have forgotten how to write about things that are not related to baseball.

I am strangely okay with that.

– Please enjoy The Sad Off with Samuel L Jackson and Anne Hathaway, in what I presume is a…cross promotion…for their respective Christmas Day movies. I mean already know Sam Jackson’s got a comedic sense, but if Hathaway starts jumping the drama/comedy bridge as successfully as Franco and Hamm have, it’s going to get…well…I don’t know, a lot more enjoyable and humourous? I guess there’s no real downside here.

– It was inevitable, but I’m still impressed with the speed, if not the editing (as it seems pretty intact and unchanged) but the purity of idea is still to be respected – the Pacific Rim trailer with Power Rangers theme music. Because…why not? My whole childhood has been building towards this moment.

– The trailer for Upstream Color is also out now, and as expected it does absolutely nothing to clear up any confusion about the nature of the movie. Why this confusion about whether they’re starlings or grackles? Starlings have short tails and yellow beaks, grackles have long tails and black beaks, what the fuck is so hard about distinguishing them and what does this have to do with the movie? My confusion has already begun.

– From our very own National Post comes infographics that illustrate all the zombie deaths in The Walking Dead. At first I was hesitant to check it out, considering that I’m not caught up all the way on the show, but then I realized that I’ve read most of the comic already anyway, and that spoiling the fact that some more zombies are killed was a risk I was willing to take. But then I saw that two of the last three zombies killed were with a silenced pistol and now the entire show is ruined for me. I’m not even going to bother watching it now. Damn you, spoilers!

– Also from the Post, the headline Novak Djokovic buys the world’s entire supply of donkey cheese. Literally. Pictured shirtless and screaming, we are apparently supposed to take that headline completely at face value. $500 a pound, but now he is the one that controls a monopoly on the entire world’s donkey cheese, completely fit to serve whomever he wants. And he who holds the world’s supply of ass cheese holds all the power. Hahaha ass cheese.

– Dark Souls II is coming! OH FUCK NO. I am absolutely not ready for this jelly. The most punishing (and therefore, most rewarding) video gaming experience is coming back…I would have dedicated an entire post to just this, but I really don’t have that much to say. My asshole is still healing from the ravaging that I received from Demon’s Souls and Dark Souls, I’m putting like balm and everything around it still. The only question I have is regarding the title…I mean Dark Souls is already the sequel for Demon’s Souls, so this is a sequel of a sequel? Why not just go with like Dragon’s Souls? I mean there’s a dragon and everything in the trailer and the games, it sticks to the “D___ Souls” convention…what’s the problem here? I’ll even give you Dead Souls as a freebie. And then past that, just mix up Dark in there as necessary. Death’s Dark Souls, Dark Dragon’s Demon Souls, it’s all deadly. Deadly Souls!

– This article regarding the battle against pornography in South Korea is fascinating to me. Specifically, this excerpt regarding the brave and vigilant net cops that clean this trash up…

Moon Tae-Hwa stares at his computer, dizzy and nauseous from the hours of porn he’s viewed online while his wife and children slept. He feels no shame — only a righteous sense of mission.

“I feel like I’m cleaning up dirty things,” the devout Christian and family counsellor said.

Moon is among the most successful members of the “Nuri Cops” (roughly “net cops”), a squad of nearly 800 volunteers who help government censors by patrolling the Internet for pornography in their spare time.

I am also fully in support of this initiative, and wish to contribute to the cause. How can I also volunteer to watch patrol for South Korean porn in my spare time?

– Here is a ridiculous Conan bit featuring the return of Hollywood stuntman and WAMBAG.COM hero Steven Ho.

DONNIE! You would have been the good one!