Choking Yak’s Provoking Facts

– That still is possibly the gayest title of all time. These aren’t facts. The rhyming is like Avril-level quality. And is anyone honestly provoked by these type of posts? It just makes no sense. …and goddamn, I love it.

– I saw two pigeons out in the middle of the parking lot when I got out of my car yesterday at school. Thing is…I park underground. Now during the summer, I usually find a spot on P2 – meaning these pigeons were two entire levels and maybe 20-30 feet underground. And this bothered me. It disturbed me. Because I can think of no reason why these pigeons would be there. It’s dark and barren. There’s absolutely no prospects of food or anything pigeon-friendly in a parking lot. What would have possibly compelled them to fly into the dark mouth of the underground parking lot and fly down two levels through a dark and winding ramp? I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I just can’t understand it. But when the regular school year rolls around and I’m bumped back down to P3 or P4 – when I see a pair of bird skeletons huddled in the corner, I won’t need to wonder about that, at least.

– Everyday to work, I drive at more than double the speed limit. *audience gasps* See, the parking garage at work has a maximum speed limit of 10 km/h – and I’m going like twenty, MINIMUM. *ba-dum-dum-kish!* Mackey on drums, everybody. Great stuff. Class act.

– Man, this story just has everything going for it. “A scorned queen can get herself hurt”? Do people actually say stuff like that?

– I had like two other facts of provocation, but I can’t seem to remember them right now.

…

Man, this post sucks.

I’ll just throw some YTMND’s at you and hope they distract long enough for me to make my gettaway.

Hiyah!

Ninja vanish!