Adventures In Solitude I

Adventures In Solitude – The New Pornographers

In the past few days, I’ve managed to improperly defrost a chicken dinner, waste a perfectly good car wash and get lost driving to my cousin’s house (a place I’ve only been to approximately 6,302,190 times in my life).

The car wash story is a good one, albeit a bit embarrassing for me. I was going to hang out with Max on Friday and before I headed to Ajax I decided that I’d treat myself to my first car wash since it looked like someone had thrown a cup of coffee at my Dad’s car or something. It turns out that the closest car wash to my house is a self-drive and the attendant patiently explained to me how simple it is and just to “drive slow, homie” (not his words). After waiting for what seemed like an eternity (there were six or seven cars ahead of me) I slowly entered the wash…but not slowly enough as it turns out. I must have hit the pedal a bit too hard because before I knew it, only the back of my car was being sprayed. That didn’t seem too productive, so I figured that I better just move on to the next step and save embarrassment. Again, I was going too quickly because no sooner did the light ahead of me go from green to red and back to green (meaning I should move on to the third step). I had no idea where the sensors were, but it was clear that I tripped them too soon. At that point, I wasn’t sure what was left so I sat there for about thirty seconds waiting for something else to happen and then sheepishly drove away. I was too embarrassed to go ask the attendant for help and I hit the road with half of my car slightly moist.

Approximate time spent in line: 40 minutes.
Approximate time spent in the car wash: 3 minutes.

I told myself that that was one of those “live and learn” situations. I also told myself to go to a car wash with a track next time.

My parents left to go to Japan on Thursday and I spent the whole day playing 360 and watching college basketball. I mean the whole day. It’s weird when you’re all by yourself and no one else wants the television and there’s no one to suggest that you do anything besides what you want to do. Well, apparently what I want to do is play videogames all day. That was predictable. On Saturday, I ended up falling asleep on my couch at 7 in the morning. All because there was no one around to tell me not to.

As for how I got lost going to Derek’s house, that’s actually easy to explain. Even though I’ve been going there for years, my parents or my brother were always doing the driving and I didn’t pay attention to where I was going. However, on this particular night, I decided not to take my GPS with me hoping that instinct and common sense would prevail. They did not. I ended up far off the mark and decided to call Derek and ask him for directions.

And this is how I’ve been doing so far without the parents. I haven’t missed a meal yet, so that’s good. Also, the house is still in decent shape, though it’s only been a few days. Any minute now, I’m going to have myself all sorted out, no doubt about it. Stay tuned.

We’re talkiing about s-e-x in front of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n!
Sex Cauldron!?! I thought they closed that place down!

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