Commander Shepard Pops An Ollie

The WAMBAG is currently in transition, between states of What Was and What Will Be. This is the state of What Is.

It floats alone in a void, separated from all the context and history and associations of its past and previous iterations. Its momentum is lost, its drifting is without direction – there is no wind filling its sails to guide it to any known shores.

Only I stand at its helm. The WAMBAG is mine once again.

My vision, and mine alone, will shape the destiny of this site. Only my voice shall be heard. I am its God. And it shall have no other Gods before me.

I am the lone author of this page, and this stands now and forever more as the sole domain of Choking Yak. This is a personal blog now. No more collective contributions. I will talk only of topics that interest and delight me, and only me. Like Mass Effect. And freestyle skateboarding tricks. From now on, The WAMBAG will be a skater themed Mass Effect fan fiction site.

I wonder if you would even be able to notice the new direction of the site? Of the 1,370 posts that preceded this…how many did I write?

Seriously, I need to know.

When I imported all our old posts from Blogger over to WordPress, it thought I was the author for all of them. So now I need to go through all the posts that weren’t written by me, and manually change them to the correct author, post by post. I have no idea how long this will take me. This might eat anywhere from like 10 to 15 minutes out of my life. What’s the percentage of non-Yak WAMBAG.COM posts that exist on this site? Like 5%? 7%? It is more than 1%! That is a lot!

God, and then I need to figure out how WordPress templates work and make our own…

Fuck it, I think I will just search through the available themes and choose the one closest to our previous layout and just be done with it. I hope some previous blog owner has already gone through the trouble of building a Nazi Bear WordPress theme for us already.

I think everyone’s logins should have automatically emailed out when I created them…? Give it a floor run, see if it plays. Onto the links!

– New Equalizer Pack DLC for Mass Effect!?! A visor, a helmet, and a set of armour? That’s it? What fuck! Why do we have to pay for this shit, BioWare? Remember that whole Cerberus Network thing where you were supposed to release all this cool FREE stuff to support the guys who had actually paid money to purchase this game? So then what’s all these releases that COST MONEY? Fuck you BioWare. Fuck you and your fucking shitty game.

It’s coming out tomorrow. Don’t ask me if I’m going to buy it or not. You don’t want to hear the answer. And I don’t want to tell you the answer.

(I have no interest in skateboarding through, that was just to setup the post title because I couldn’t think of anything else to put there.)

– This is a video where the frame rate of the camera has been synced up with the speed of a helicopter’s rotor blades. It will make you trip balls harder than you have ever tripped balls before.

– A video compilation of angry police chiefs throughout movie history. Absolutely fantastic.

– Didn’t you always wonder what celebrities would look like if they lived in Keswick, Ontario? Well now you know, and knowing things is approximately 50% of the battle. Sharon Stone is still pretty hot though. Feel free to mentally sub in Winnipeg, Manitoba instead if you are unfamiliar with Keswick, Ontario. Although there’d be more Filipino people if it was Winnipeg.

…so many…Filipinos…

– And finally, here is a local story about a charity ping pong match between former Toronto Mayors and former Maple Leafs captains. Match point!

“How do you choose between Lee Marvin and Derek Jeter?”
“On looks? Lee Marvin.”

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