So softball season starts tomorrow…and I think the last time I was this excited, it was like the Halloween of 1992 or something, when life still held joy for me. (As a kid, I always enjoyed Halloween more than Christmas…probably because you got to run around all over the neighbourhood at night, which is something that’s generally not encouraged at Christmas.) I can’t wait for my first at-bat, it’s literally giving me an erection right now just thinking about it. And this is still the preseason!

Links!

– Another Funny Or Die video featuring a behind the scenes look of how John Mayer makes his music. “Have all the chords in music been found? Most people say yes. I say, ‘not so fast, asshole.'” A great, unexpected music/comedy crossover talent (like Garth Brooks) – remember his bit on Chappelle’s Show? I haven’t quite yet been able to put my finger on it yet, but it just reeks of Judd Apatow. Maybe it’s the overwhelming amount of celebrity cameos or the brief, dry, improv style exchanges, like with the two song writers talking about supermodels. It’s just automatic at this point; they’re sleep walking through these, and it’s a hit every time.

– Although I like this one better. Falseface starring Will Forte and Brian Petsos. The soundtrack throughout…pure brilliance.

– Loosely related…a collection of clips of Nicholas Cage in The Wicker Man. I’ve never seen it…but now I kinda want to. Not the bees! They’re huge and they’re sting crazy!

– Another page from the book of Only White People…3 accused of using corpse head to smoke pot. At least they might get a fair trial. Stay classy, Houston.

– Apparently the rights to Short Circuit have been newly acquired, meaning that a new remake might possibly be in the works. (Hopefully it’s something like these, complete with the speed reading bits.) So I would like to thank Hollywood in advance for fucking up another of my cherished childhood memories. Short Circuit 2 was one of my most favourite movies as a kid, although I remember being horribly traumatized and emotionally scarred from that one scene where they’re killing Johnny 5 (they snuck up on him from behind by speaking pig latin!) and he’s just screaming “NO STOP DO NOT KILL ME AAAAAAAAHHHHH” throughout the entire thing. (Can you believe this movie was rated PG!?! The world was different back then.) Some might also tell you that the movie featured the best use of Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For A Hero of all time. But despite my abundant love for this movie, I’m unfortunately forced to reluctantly disagree.

i still refuse to believe that this hot bitch came from the sky and landed in a split. i cannot believe it.

THE BEST ROUTINE EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr