While I know both the Canadian and American Thanksgiving Holiday have passed, I'm still posting this on terms of pure craziness. It's weird, because being chinese, there's not much aspects of Canadian or American culture that surprises me - usually it's the other way around. But check this out - apparently it's been around for ages and families all over North America know about it - at least the white folks do. So maybe some of you know about it, but I certainly just found out.

A turducken...is a chicken stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey. Which to me, is one of the funniest concepts I've ever heard of. I've been missing out on turducken for my whole life - and so you can bet there's going to be a huge push on my part to get a turducken on the Thanksgiving table next year. It doesn't matter that I have no idea how it's even physically possible, I'm just going to assume the turducken is a mythical creature that will somehow end up placed on the table in front of me come next November. Cooking courtesy of the fine women-folk that are my cousins of course - I'm just there to eat and play games. This is pure insanity - 20 pounds of pure, boneless meat. Pounds - that much meat is stupifying.

And on an even insanier (it's a word, trust me) note, the article also mentions a South American breed called the osturducken, which is a chicken stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey, stuffed in an ostrich. Now there's a loose fact in my brain that I've yet to officially confirm, but I'm pretty sure a full grown adult ostrich reaches 300 pounds pretty easily. Even considering that's a live, uncooked version of an ostrich...that's a lot of meat.

And I've checked already - there's no turducken Magic card out there. YET. Watch this space for further "developments" on that issue.

11/29/2002 12:36:00 PM | Comments (0)

Scanner fixed. Have fun.

11/28/2002 05:29:00 PM | Comments (0)

...I have no idea how the Blue Ranger got there.

11/27/2002 10:00:00 PM | Comments (0)

The good ol' RHHS will always hold a special place in my heart. In the hate area. I hate you Richmond Hill High School!!! Hate you! The worse thing about it? It hates me even more. I just managed to check out last year's yearbook this weekend, since I didn't actually buy one myself. Just out of spite. It was my final bout of "sticking it" to my school, after a long colourful history of stick-it's. Turns out it had the last laugh. My grad profile's wacked up. The yearbooks staff did a wonderful job I admit, 'cept for my profile. They let one of the words at the top slip into the next line, and thus everything's one line off. But the categories/questions are still in their original lines. So what I put down for my Ambition is now my Probable Fate, my Claim To Fame's my Tragic Flaw, my Favourite Teachers are now my Catch Phrases, and so on. It makes no sense, and I look retarded.

So that irked me. Not that I really care what highschool classmates will think of me years down the road from now, but that the school had found some way to screw me even post-grad. I even missed commencement just to avoid that. (Though to be fair, I really did in fact, have a math test during it.) So when I had to go pick up my brother at school for some clubs or something, I was delighted and giddy with anticipation. While he was at his locker getting his stuff after school, I snuck into an empty classroom and took down one of the chairs that was put up already on a desk! Diabolical, I know. I even wrote "skoo sux" on the blackboard for some extra style points. Last laugh? Me.

But curses! Upon walking across the parking lot to my car, I got cocky and let my guard down. I foolishly cut across a slanted incline of snowy grass, and slipped!!! So I'm lying face-up on the school parking lot, looking into the sky and wondering why this place hates me so much. The lesson? Don't screw with school. It will screw you back. Harder. Last laugh? RHHS. That magnificent bastard.

11/26/2002 12:29:00 AM | Comments (0)

So if you're wondering where the newest Bag is - yea right - then wonder some more. I recently formatted my computer, and I can't find the software and drivers and stuff for my scanner. So the Bag is on temporary hiatus (as it always is).

But fear not, for I (not the artist) has made a replica of one of the panels as a sort of "sneak preview". Behold (and brace yourselves):

That's a little bit of Hertzfeldt for you.

11/24/2002 01:01:00 PM | Comments (0)

I just learned about this dealie today. Completely pointless, but vaguely interesting - not like I have anything else to talk about. And don't complain to me if it's old or that I'm not "keeping up with the times" because I really don't care. I thought it was plenty neat. No scrolling down before you finish the steps in order! You'll ruin it. Should take less than a minute, if your arithmetic's not shot to heck like mine. I couldn't do it all in my head - needed paper. Ugh.

1) Pick a number between 1 and 10.

2) Multiply by 2.

3) Add 5.

4) Multiply by 50.

5) If you've had your birthday already this year, add 1752. If you haven't yet, add 1751. (...the calculator's in your Start menu, under "Accessories")

6) Subtract the year you were born - all four digits (eg. 1984) (You know you need it now.)

7) If you don't have a three-digit number right now, I don't think you should consider majoring in math for university.

Now looking at your number...behold! The first digit is your original number - and the last two are how old you are!!! INSANITY. Now you know what number you picked like 60 seconds ago, and your age! Isn't that fantasic? That's my Christmas present to you early this year, don't ask me for anything else. (4-hit aerial rave!!!)

11/22/2002 12:13:00 AM | Comments (0)

What the Wambag needs is a good invention. Yes sir, that's what we need.

11/20/2002 04:19:00 PM | Comments (0)

I swear, I will fix the tagboard for good one day. One day.

Anyway...I got in trouble yesterday. I did the pre-lab for the wrong experiment in chemistry...so I got thrown out of the lab and I had to reschedule. Which is completely my fault, I'm silly - but I didn't get in trouble for that. No problem, just reschedule - I mean, I was still prepared with work...just the wrong work. But when the lab co-ordinator was checking my pre-lab, she got all bothered that it wasn't good enough. I asked her exactly what I was missing, so she starts going through my work, looking for mistakes. But I don't think she could find any - so she just chews me out on not having any page numbers and not putting the dates with the experiment titles. Which is...silly. But I'm still a freshman in university, and I didn't want to get into anything too big, so I just let her have it and keep her dignity. I apologized. So what was supposed to be a simple lab-rescheduling became a ten minute "chew-this-skinny-chinese-boy-up-because-he-has-no-page-numbers" deal. What a crock.

So I got in trouble. Now believe it or not...I've been incredibly good at staying out of trouble for the last couple of years. I never got caught for anything in highschool, so the last time I've really been in trouble or received a lecture was probably...in stupid grade 8 or something. No surprise for anyone who actually knew me in grade 8. But I've escaped trouble for like...four entire years. And the streak's ruined now because I didn't have page numbers. Dang.

11/19/2002 03:56:00 PM | Comments (0)

Tweaked the archive page for The Bag. Can't seem to stop tweaking.

I was also screwing around a bit, and I stumbled onto this wacky korean talent show dealie. I have no idea what it is, but I watched last year's highlights for freestyle dance...and I witnessed pure insanity. I can't explain what I'm seeing, so you gotta watch it for yourself. That white guy scares the frick out of me.

11/14/2002 12:02:00 AM | Comments (0)

This Friday is going to be potentially depressing. I'm not going to Harry Potter nor the semi, so I'll hafta entertain myself. Meanwhile, check out the latest bag. Enjoy.

11/13/2002 09:54:00 PM | Comments (0)

Well, the tagboard went down, as you can see. Something's wrong with the server, and I know I said ages ago that I'd move to a different server...but obviously...I didn't. Meh. So when it pops back up, we can figure out this 1000th business. Gosh, I hope it's not Dan.

So in an effort to get back to our regularly scheduled broadcasting, imma gonna blog a bit. I bought a new hat yesterday. Which for me - since I'm wearing one for I think, literally 20% of my time here on Earth - is a big thing. My Jays one is getting on, and I think I have to retire the old guy. I'm working in my RedTyde one, but I've always been more comfortable with the idea that a hat should either a) have a sports team on it, or b) be funny. Which actually worked out real well for the Jays one, since I think there's more Yankee fans here in Toronto than Blue Jays fans. I get laughed at for being a Jays fan - thus both criteria are satisfied. So really, my RedTyde hat's been more of a transitional hat - I'm between hats.

Ended up getting a Leafs one, because...I've never had a Maple Leafs hat. I was thinking of getting a Raptors one, since at this point they're doing a bit better than the Leafs (2-4 as opposed to 4-9) but the whole purple thing threw me off. After bringing it home, I'm wondering if it was really that great of an idea. It kinda looks just like a crummy Puma rip-off of the cooler Zephyr one - I don't have the "T" for Toronto, and it looks a bit different. But it was blue and grey, which are my official colours. So for the next little while I'll be working it in, alternating between my three current hats, to get the correct feel down.

Cripes - between this, a big comic week, and the stupid subway (both of them) - I'm running poor.

11/10/2002 04:10:00 PM | Comments (0)

So I've been going through the tagboard, wondering where all these weird people are coming from, and why I've never heard of any of them. I still suspect that it's just Sheep posting with different names. So anyway, I was sniffing around like the dog I am, and came across...this strange world of PHP and XML goodness. Specifically the 1000th hit fling - and I started thinking...exactly how much hits are we up to?

That's right! We keep secret tabs on you all - just like the government and their credit cards with the magnetic strips! Apparently, we're pretty close to our 1000th too - actually, at the time of this writing it's up to 990. Setting aside the fact that probably 99.994% of the hits are from my two partners in crime and I, it still makes very little sense to why there's so much hits. But...meh. So in the spirit of celebration, I've put in the hit counter on the bottom there (it's very pretty, I know) to let you check up your hit number. If you are our 1000th (don't cheat - honour rule in effect!) you will be awarded A PRIZE!!! So tag up, and we'll fill you in. In the event that one of us three becomes the 1000th...then we'll prize up the 1001th. If we're the 1001th, then we'll prize up the 1002th. And so on. No madly clicking refresh either - I'll know. Because I have special brain powers.

...so...OH MY GOODNESS, 1000 LOSERS HAVE FALLEN INTO OUR CRAZY SCHEME!!! And that folks, is the greatest gift of all. Christmas is early this year! (joke recycled three times now!) Ho ho ho!

11/06/2002 08:30:00 PM | Comments (0)

If you've noticed, the site's been through a little tweaking. So welcome to The WAMBAG 1.1 (that's not a link, don't click it)!!! Things still aren't fully in place yet, but they will, I swear. Now that it's up, I'm not liking the bottom bit there, and those two idiots up top aren't cutting it. But the stripes on the side is just bad HTML'ing on my part. So yeah, some work's to be done. I'm building the page with you crafty 600 x 800 resolution users (savages!) in mind - all...like, two of you. So expect some minor tweaking the days ahead.

Also notice that's there's a new section of the site up in the above menu - The Wam. The above link, much like the one I just gave you don't actually go anywhere, because the section's not up yet. Ha! You clicked it, didn't you!?! And we're not telling you what the new section is yet either! So remember, crazy-new-kinda-secret-section of the site coming crazy soon! Crazy!

Also notice that the "staff" link is dead - we're also working on getting something interesting up there too. That'll probably show up first before the The Wam, just because The Wam is crazy complex and just generally crazy crazy. So lots of goodies to look forward to, so please for goodness' sake, don't go and leave us alone!!! PLEASE!!!

11/04/2002 12:36:00 AM | Comments (0)

Can't afford to buy a lunch? Maybe you should brown bag it. Clever, eh?

11/03/2002 10:05:00 PM | Comments (0)

I have uncovered the truth about... MICHELLE BRANCH AND VANESSA CARLTON.
Click here for more.

(Freaky how it was made exactly a month after the Beachfest one.)

11/03/2002 09:12:00 PM | Comments (0)

Stayed over at Assface's after everyone left. I ended up leaving at like 1:00 AM, after playing some tennis, and watching the Raptors game he taped

That may well have been the worst Raptors game I've ever seen. Six minutes in, we lose Vince to a knee injury. No problem, we still got Davis, just like last time. Then we lose Davis in the third quarter to a rib injury. So we've lost 40% of our starting line-up, and 100% of our good players, and the season's only three games long. Not cool. So we ended up cheering for the Rockets, because of Yao Ming, and Steve Francis - who's on Assface's fantasy league, and also because he apparently hates Mo Pete a lot.

He seems to hate a lot of people a lot.

11/03/2002 05:33:00 PM | Comments (0)

Wow, two Bags in one day? Unbelievable. It's like Christmas came early... no wait, that was the last strip. Ah well, it's not like we don't reuse jokes anyways...

So here it is:
Something that's cold...AND something that's hot.

11/01/2002 08:47:00 PM | Comments (0)

You highschool punks may have missed it this morning when you were in school - the frickin' blizzard that is. I was walking across Queen's Park to my class, and it's beautiful and sunny. Then I look up, and the sun's gone. Then it's gets real cold, real fast. And then it comes - the first snow of the year. ...or...the second snow, because it like...snowed in January - whatever. I thought it was kinda nifty at first, but then two steps later the wind picks up and I can't see anything. Like I suddenly time travelled to last winter - it's crazy-snow-stormish. I make it to the building, and three steps into the place my phone rings. I head back outside to get some better reception, and it's completely different. Sun's out, wind's gone, and the only evidence of the blizzard was the inch of snow on the ground. Weather shouldn't change so disturbing fast. Then I answer my phone...

...and no one's there. Damn you old man winter!!! Stop screwing with me! You shouldn't snow in November, or you'll use it all up before Christmas.

11/01/2002 06:41:00 PM | Comments (0)

So I lugged my guitar to school today, which I didn't even actually take out the case. Which is kind of like how I recently uninstalled Diablo II to install Age Of Mythology, which I haven't even played once. But you know that I miss that devil of a game when I am reminded of it by a passing comment by the school custodians, regarding those little white rolls of asswipes... "Hey Joe, give me TP"...

11/01/2002 05:38:00 PM | Comments (0)