Staring At The Lights

The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel

You may have noticed that for a brief stretch there (six days to be exact), there was a significant lack of posts. I like to think that that's because it's winter time, generally a slow period for the WAMBAG, and not because we're a bunch of lazy chinks.

Having said that, I have an essay due soon meaning that it's the perfect time to post! Huzzah!

I was suffering from a brutal case of "What-am-I-doing-here?-itis" today. Allow me to explain.

After a brutal Sunday night session of not doing work (but feeling guilty about it) I woke up to a typical (read: sucky) Monday morning. Every morning it's the same thing. My mom nagging me, telling me that I'm going to miss the bus even though I NEVER HAVE. To all of you bastards living on res: A pox o' all your houses, how I envy thee.

First period: Major British Writers. Mostly interesting. Mostly slept through it. After that I had lunch with Will and Jess. Normally, this wouldn't be worth mentioning, but it was a positive part of the day. I definitely needed to go to the Youth Garden to eat today. I took Leanna with me on Friday and I think she didn't like it. Goddamn half-Japanese girl.

After that, Jess and I continued our tradition of watching an episode of Desperate Housewives every Monday. It's a month strong now, baby! Only two weeks missed!

Not a bad day so far, but I was exhaused and I slept right through my Medieval Literature class, which was actually interesting because she was walking us through this poem that I didn't understand a word of. But for the life of me, I could not stay awake. I hate myself.

I hated myself even more for going to mother-F-in' Short Story class. He said it was going to be a short class and we'd be learning how to write essays in MLA format. I was like, "Nigga, you ain't got to explain shit. I've been robbin' motherfuckers since the slave ships!" My professor is black by the way. Coming was a complete waste of my time. I realized that since I slept through my last class, I probably could have left about five hours before or I could have just skipped today to work on my assignments (read: sleep until four in the afternoon).

At least I got to hang out with Wendy Shen for a bit. Yes, I have Short Story class with a fellow MDHS survivor. She was good to me for the first couple of weeks, saving me a seat until I met Leanna. Now I feel bad because I don't talk to her as much as I should because I feel obligated to hang out with this new girl. Leanna didn't show up today, so I hung out with Wendy for a bit. She lead me to the nearest place that I could get a chocolate milk, which I was dying for for some reason. Then I ran into David and Ping and I ditched her again. Sorry, Wendy! I'm a prick.

I was bitching to people all day (I think Will and Jess were spared) about my What-am-I-doing-here?-itis. I was thinking about the Ice Queen. Not for the usual reasons, but for the fact that she seems to be living the stereo-typical university party life. Party all the time, join a sorority, grind out your assignments and go home happy at the end of the day. I'm neither partying or doing particularly well in school right now, so I'm starting to have those old doubts: Who am I? Why am I here? Am I gay? I'm probably gay. At one point, as David, Ping and I were walking to the station, I actually yelled out in the middle of the street:

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!?

I felt better immediately. I realized I was happy to have spent so much time with friendly faces today, since I'd been doing a bad job of managing that lately. For some reason I'd only been able to see, like, one friend a day over the last couple of weeks. This is dragging. Let me get to the flowery, poetry bit.

It was another beautiful sunset today. I was dozing off on the bus (it was one of those days), so maybe I was dreaming, but the sky looked like one of those cheesy gradient effects you would add to a high school project just to pretty things up. I was fading in and out and at one point I blinked too hard and it was gone. But while it was there, man...it's the sort of thing that if you stare at it for too long, you start thinking, "I will never be afraid of anything ever again."

And to cap it all off, I talked to the Ice Qu...Tanya on MSN tonight. I was pissed off at her because I bought her the first season of The O.C. on DVD, which set me back about eighty bones (only forty after I collect my money from some suckas that gotsta pay), which was for her birthday on Friday. I even attached an amusing note that read: "I hope you get an iPod so you can indulge your bad taste in music. For now, just indulge your bad taste in television." That's money. Vintage Big Al, right there.

The whole weekend, not a single thank you. Not a phone call, not a text message, not even an MSN message! That's cold-blooded!

However...*sigh*...she did message me today to thank me for the present and we talked for a while online. It was cool. I'm not saying that I can hang around her or anything like that, but we had a nice conversation today. I'll take that for now. This post was originally supposed to be all about her, but it wasn't a bad day, so I'm not going to spoil things.

PQ:
You know...this isn't fair. I'm an Adephi. I'm...one of the host...of angels. I never even thought about sinning. I did everything I was told and...I never complained...and now it ends here in this black pit in the ground with my--my brains blown out...! What d'you call that, eh? What d'you...call...thaaaat...
Good start.

1/31/2005 09:00:00 PM | Comments (0)

Video link! The CG for Gene Kelly's face is pretty obvious, but what can you expect for a thirty second car commerical?

News link! What's that? I should subject myself to insane amounts of radiation so I can turn into the Hulk? Incredible! Thanks University of Toronto, Scarborough Campus!

1/30/2005 06:47:00 PM | Comments (0)

I was thinking of waiting until I actually had something coherent to post about before dishing out these links, but then I realized that I never have anything coherent to post about. So here's the links!

- Street Fighter: The Ride! Hopefully, no explanation is needed.

- Rejected Pentagon chemical weapon ideas. There's no need in reading past the second paragraph. Yes my friends - A GAY BOMB. Our dreams have come true.

- Man peed way out of avalanche. "It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt." Why can't I stop laughing at that?

...huh. I thought I had more. Oh well.

1/28/2005 05:30:00 PM | Comments (0)

I think the WAMBAG should get in on this lucrative new venture. Who's with me?

1/26/2005 01:27:00 PM | Comments (0)

Love And Theft

Gimme The Loot - Notorious B.I.G.

Can't concentrate in Major British Writers class. My teacher is babbling about the history of Pride and Prejudice. It's so boring compared to last class where he did a reading of this other book, which involved him speaking as not one, but two female characters with his deep, booming voice. He brought the house down. My mind is in a hundred other places.

* This morning I stole a poster from a subway train. It's that one for "Beautiful Brunette" hair colouring with the hot babe on it. You know the one. If you've seen these ads, you know that they're encased in metal frames. I'd been trying to nab this ad in particular ever since Julius told me how much he loved the model in it. I thought it would make a nice housewarming gift (he moved into residence recently). I'd considered cutting it out or unscrewing the frame. Today, I saw a copy of the ad in a frame that was missing one side. I had to wait for a few people to get out of the way (had to miss my stop), but eventually I got to it and slid it right out. Mission accomplished. He loved it too. After I gave it to him, we shared an EXTREMELY awkward man-hug. Horrible.

* Did anyone catch Jamie Foxx's acceptance speech at the Golden Globes? At first, he was his usual, cocky Jamie Foxx self. By the end, he was trying to talk about his dead grandmother and he couldn't get the words out. You could actually see a single tear fall. Gripping television.

* A couple of Conan related links. First, check out his latest batch of actual items. I especially like the blood test one. You'll see. Also, check out this group that decided to base a whole rap song on Conan's "I'm Gonna Go To Hell When I Die" bit. They're called The Booty Boys. It's good stuff. Apparently they have another song about him in which they call him "Coneezy O'Breezy". That's...that's fucking awesome.

* I am having a lot of trouble sleeping. (And I was in class when I wrote this!)

* I'm working on an iPod fund for Tanya's birthday. I reckon that 28 people paying about $15 each should do it. Yeah, this probably isn't going to happen.

* So there's this new girl. Her name is Leanna. I had, like, two classes with her last semester. Don't recall talking to her once. This semester, we have three classes. In this new one, The Short Story, she came up to me and said, "Aren't you in my Major Brit tutorial?" and sat next to me. We've been playing "getting to know you" ever since. Nothing to get too excited about. Might be the last time I mention it.

* At work, I get bills with writing on them all the time. Recently, I got a $10 bill that said, "may you always have enough".

Let's end with that one.

PQ: (damn, I'm going through these things fast these days)
Man of God, man of God...do you know what you face? I am the Allfather. This is the Grail. The blood of the lamb is ours to guard. To shape the world to receive that blood, to build an apocalypse of our design, we have done and will do anything. The earth continues turning at our whim. At the end of every day, every leader of every nation makes a telephone call. They dial a number I have given them. And when I answer, they simply say--"Thank you." But you...you began by insulting me, man of God. You demanded, and threatened, and sneered...
I'm American, fat boy. What's your excuse?

1/20/2005 03:00:00 AM | Comments (0)

Here's some clickies. I am actually unbelievably tired right now so I don't have much to say. I mean like...I am so tired that you wouldn't even believe it man. Like, unbelievably tired. Tired!

- Here's some disturbingly arousing pictures of Bill Gates from 1983. Yee-ikes.

- Spiffy microwave experiments. The grape one sounds the coolest.

- Went to the new T&T supermarket at Middlefield and Steeles (my old hood REPRESENT) today, and I saw the biggest goddamn fish I ever did see. He is the destroyer of worlds.

1/19/2005 11:49:00 PM | Comments (0)

Dick Lit

These Days Are Old - Spookey Ruben

Somehow, I always forget how to make myself feel better. Last week I complained about every little ol' thing and now, I'm doing alright. How did this turnaround happen? Easy.

I took some physical abuse and decided to act more selfish than usual. Like I said, easy.

The physical abuse part came from an odd bit of work scheduling which had me working four days in a row (for a part-timer, that seems like a lot). Not that I haven't done this before, but they had me doing something different each day. The first day I was exiled back to the dairy section of the grocery store, which is always fun. Some character decided not to come to work (smart bastard) and they volunteered me to take his spot, seeing as how I was SO GOOD at grocery work before. There's a reason I'm a cashier, folks. I actually did okay, though as usual I was slow. And I definitely almost threw my back out on a couple of occasions. Luckily, I'm good at slacking so I managed to avoid that. I cut myself a bunch of times too. All in all, it was a great experience. I'd been whining so much about the stupidest things lately that it was nice to take some tangible abuse for a day.

The next day they had me pushing shopping carts around the parking lot and my back was still killing me. However, my masochistic disposition remained so this was perfect! I'm pretty sure that I was subconsciously trying to destroy myself. The day after that was kind of crappy, because I was back on cash. But not on the cash I was used to. No, my friends, they threw me on cash 9!!! This is the register that people are sent to to return things, so you actually have to interact with customers for at least 2 or 3 minutes. *Brrrrr* Still, another new experience. By the last day, I was back on regular cash and appreciating how easy my life is.

As for acting more selfish, well this came easily. Especially after last week when I tried to act like a man who actually, you know, cares about other people. My main, for lack of a better word, "problem" last week was dealing with Julius and Jainy, who had broken up. I was hanging out with him a lot and he kept talking about how messed up things were between them because they were broken up one second and the next they weren't and blah blah blah. I wouldn't have minded if he actually listened to anything I had to say. If I tried to discuss anything that was bothering me (and as you know I was feeling like garbage last week), he literally ignored it. Acted like the wind just blew by his ear or something. And if I tried to help him with his problem, we'd end up going around in circles as he would NOT LISTEN AND TAKE MY ADVICE!!!

Now, you might be thinking, "Alex, how good could your advice be? It's his life, what do you expect him to do?" That's what I told him! I told him to take care of business and that we'd already been over what he needed to do, like, ten times! So just nut up and do it! I got frustrated with him. I said, "Julius, you're so much better than all this. You know what you have to do and you're just not doing it. You're such a strong guy, but you just happen to be acting weak in this situation. I'm not going to tell you what you need to do, because you know. Do it." And so on and so forth.

I'd had enough by Monday. He called me over the weekend and told me that he'd taken care of things, but he still needed to talk which means that he HAS NOT taken care of things. So I decided to be selfish. I was planning to have lunch with Michelle on Monday, so I'm talking to him on MSN and it goes something like this:

Julius: Are you going to lunch with Meesh (his nickname for her) on Monday?
Alex: Yeah.
Julius: Oh.
Alex: I hope you're not thinking of coming along.
Julius: Ha ha.
No.
Serious?
(insert stupid smiley face)
Alex: Yeah.
Julius: Ha ha.
Okay, no worries.
I'll just go to her class, then.
Alex: Cool.

So I go meet her and he's there with this shit-eating grin on his face and he's like, "Don't worry about it, man, I'll respect your privacy. I'll go find something to do." And he gives me a playful punch on the chest while laughing in his annoying Julius way. And I go like, "What? Do you want a medal or something?" Then we went our seperate ways. Michelle was shocked that I was treating him that way and I told her that the boy needed some tough love.

But most of all, I just felt like being a prick. And oh yeah, lunch with Michelle was amazing.

So there ya go. I realized that the most physical stress I endure in life is pushing shopping carts and lifting milk crates and the only mental stress I have to deal with is having my close friends confide in me too much. Bastards!

*sigh* Perspective can be a pain in the ass. I'm like Spider-Man everytime something bad happens to him and he throws his uniform in the trash and says, "Hey world, say goodbye to Spider-Man!!!" And then three issues later, he's back. I guess I'm saying that it's time for me to pull the costume out of the trash and start web-slinging again.

...

Geez, that was horrible. I've got to figure out a way out of this. Ooh, ooh, funny link! Why does he even try anymore? The best part? Archives! Ha ha, come on...really?

PQ:
Don't think dressing like a fucking minister's gonna save your ass if I start kicking it!
I get through with you, boy--You're gonna wish your daddy pulled out early.

1/18/2005 07:34:00 PM | Comments (0)

So I'm back from a skiing trip over the weekend and - aside from one glorious wipeout - there's not much to tell. So here's some news links.

Thief with samurai sword robs Winnipeg McDonald's. Classy. But every site I've seen with this link has it listed like "THIS NINJA'S LOVIN IT" or something. But considering that there was no sneaking or assassination involved, and that it was a samurai sword...you would have to come to the conclusion that this was a ninja-less crime.

And from samurais, we go to nail shooting, flame throwing, backyard mechas.

Lastly - a scene straight out of Dirty Work (part of my personal library, now sitting between The Big Lebowski and Kindergarten Cop) - Bodies Discovered In Auto Sales Office.

"I've never seen so many dead hookers in my life!"
"Lord knows I have."

1/18/2005 01:18:00 AM | Comments (0)

No one snorts two lines of cocaine off their dead dad in this essay (1 2 3), but I thought it was pretty good regardless.

1/14/2005 03:40:00 PM | Comments (0)

HATCH - brother of Tontie - comes to us from the lovely and talented Jess, now over at orangetoast.org.

It is a difficult game, one that will no doubt consume your soul if you stare too long. Catch the goodies, feed your egg, hatch into something beautifully bizarre. Sounds simple, doesn't it? In fact, it's too simple. It has stolen my soul, and I cannot fight for it back. It is ridiculous. But Jess seems to have gotten the hang of it - her score to beat is an insane 146. There is no shame - NONE AT ALL - if you can't even come close to beating it. It doesn't make you any less a man if your weak seed cannot bring forth the mighty Tinta. Take it from me, I who have spent hours and hours trying.

So indulge her - give it a go. See if you can summon Ozmek, my first and favourite son. Go for 140. And then if you are blessed, usurp our evil queen and break her hold over this land by beating 146. It will be a long and difficult journey. You will lose faith, but keep the goal in sight and listen to your heart.

And then when you've beaten Jess' score of 146, you can try and beat my score of 147.

1/13/2005 11:12:00 PM | Comments (0)

If you ever have to write an essay for university, and need some help getting started, pick up some pointers from this winner.

Oh, and say NO to drugs (and the pop up that tries to install spyware on your computer).

1/13/2005 02:49:00 PM | Comments (0)

I Guess This Is Goodbye

Lady - Lenny Kravitz

Daaaaaayyyyaamn this girl in my Books and Readers class is hot!

There has to be a way for me to introduce myself. Could I just say hello? Seems a bit late for that. Besides, I think I tried that already.

I wish I was amazing in this class. And that she was awful. She'd need someone to tutor her, so we'd start doing lunch. Then, just before a big test, she'd invite me over. It might be a little weird, so we could drink a gallon of brandy to relax. Then we could hang out in robes, and see what develops. (And no, that is not the last time I will link to that skit. I love it. There will NEVER be a last time.)

Why couldn't I have met this girl somewhere besides this Godforsaken class? Why in any class at all? I need to go to more parties. We could be trading glances across the room all night. I'd be like, "She's got hungry eyes and I'm the all you can eat buffet." Maybe after a couple of shots, I could walk over and ask her to dance. She'd say, "Hey baby, I just might take a chance."

Or we could meet in a diner. Maybe we'd order the same meal. Or maybe, and I'd love this, we'd both reach for the sugar packets and our hands would touch for a second. One wonderful second. That's jazz, baby.

I'll just stay over here and stare at her. I've got a good angle for that.

Life is not a TV show/song/movie.

PQ:

Mr. O'Hare?
Uh?
You can see your daughter now.
I beg your pardon, miss?
Your daughter. You can see her.
Do you think I oughta?
Well--Yes...
Oh, okay.
There she is...
Isn't she beautiful? Here, d'you want to hold her?
Oh--Well--I don't really know how, I mean with a girl...
What's the difference? She's a baby, you hold her like any baby...
But--Miss--
Here.
*Gurp*
Aw hell. So you're a girl. That needn't be so bad.

1/11/2005 10:51:00 PM | Comments (0)

I, Choking Yak will now tell you some Provoking Facts.

- I'm going insane from listening to The Servant by...The Servant. Or at least the tracks I've been able to download. I like it, but Orchestra (their first single?) is like the only one I can remember. Aside from Cells, which I am completely obssessed with at the moment. I don't even care about the movie anymore.

- I want to hire a butler or something, to listen to that album so that I can tell people "Hey, the servant is listening to The Servant by The Servant!" and so that they can reply back "You're fucking retarded, man." This is second on my list, next to my master plan to take over the Toronto Raptors, draft Marvin Williams Jr., and sign Frank Williams so that next year we can have a line-up of...
PG - Frank Williams
SG - Alvin Williams
SF - Eric Williams
PF - Marvin Williams
C - Aaron Williams
...I mean, it's not that far-fetched. I swear, it works. Then when we play the Bucks, the opposing coach will be like "Hey Williams, guard Williams!" And then Maurice Williams will be like "BUT WHICH ONE!?!" HAHAHAHAHAHA...that just cracks me up.

- Went to dinner during the weekend, and I saw this one car parked right in the middle of two spots, right on top of the line. It was hilarious. It worked out so that if you approached the spots from either side, you couldn't tell that they weren't empty until you had practically turned into the spot already. I know this because it's what I did. I tried to take a picture of the car with my phone, but it doesn't look all that great. And while I was taking it, no less than three other cars tried to turn in and thus were tricked. My dad thinks someone did it on purpose, whereas I maintained that the driver was just too stupid to realize what they were doing. Considering that it was a Chinese plaza, they both seem equally likely.

- I realized today while eating an orange that Batgirl's currently my favourite comic book character. I have no idea why - her book's not that good, and she hasn't done that many cool things yet. Is it because she's a cute looking 18 year-old Chinese girl if nothing else? ...possibly. I also maintain that she could probably beat Daredevil a solid 6 out of 10 times in a straight up, gadget-less fist fight. Just for the record, under the same conditions, I would give Daredevil 6/10 over Batman. But throw in the gadgets, and 60% of the time, Batman would kill him everytime.

- I know I shouldn't say this, considering the company I keep...but my life has been kicking huge amounts of ass lately. It's not like I've been depressed over the last long while - I've always at least had a standard minimum level of happiness - but regardless, the sun seems brighter, food tastes better, I have that bounce in my step, 24 seems to be kicking more ass even though I know in my heart that nothing will ever beat Season 2...I am high as a fucking kite. Is it only seratonin?

You know...nothing's really changed...

But...everything's different.

And for the first time in a long while, I can go to bed with a reason to wake up in the morning.

(For the record, the last time I could honestly say that was when FOX still had X-Men on Saturday mornings. ...man...good times.)

1/10/2005 11:38:00 PM | Comments (0)

The Blueprint 2 (Had To Do It)

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

A brief anecdote before I begin. I always take note of the things people buy in the supermarket and make tiny observations in my head. This one couple bought about a dozen Lunchables snack packs and I thought, "Their kid is going to be the most popular kid in school."

On with the show.

Shortly after posting about my sick obsession with Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off fame, I realized (I've been doing that a lot lately) that it directly correlates to this one girl who I had a crush on in high school:

Simone Perrin.

WARNING: What follows is a detailed account of the bizarre and highly inappropriate attraction I had for this girl. For those of you not interested, here is a link to a Perry Bible Fellowship comic which you can read instead. It's funny. Then you can skip down to the Preacher quotes. I'll even bracket the whole thing off so you can jump right by it. I'm thoughtful like that.

*****

I first saw Simone in...Introduction To Business class, I think. Or maybe she was a face that caught my eye in the hallways. Regardless, the first time I saw her I was in awe. I'm not saying she's the kind of girl who any guy would look at and be like, "I have to have her!". She's not Helen of Troy or anything like that. And she wasn't really the "girl next door"-type either, which before that day had been my preference. No, she was unique and to me, perfect. I had a dream about her that night, which wasn't normal for me. It would be one of many. They were all the same too. We'd be with a group travelling somewhere and at some point, her and I ended up together. Later, I would write a song that included this lyric:

For some reason it's always the same.
We're walking in a town with no name.

I'm sure I'm not the first person to express that sentiment, but it felt right. Over the years, I managed to use mutual friends to worm my way into casual conversation with her. In retrospect, that was probably a bad idea. I don't think I've ever had less chemistry with a girl who I found so attractive. She's the kind of gal who likes to talk about clothes and cars and bad music. I'm not saying she was materialistic, but those happened to be her interests and I couldn't relate to that at all. We rarely got beyond hellos and how are you?s.

"Crush" is definitely the perfect word to describe this particular affair. I mean, I wasn't counting the hours between our meetings or judging my days based on our interactions. Hell, I cannot recall one instance where she made me feel an emotion to any extreme. Usually, when I fall for someone hard, it requires that girl and I to at least have had one or two shared moments. With her, I could hardly keep myself entertained. And yet, I was unmistakably drawn to her. I can honestly say I was more attracted to her when she was standing 10 feet away than right in front of my face.

She must have known I had a thing for her. I was always trying to talk to her, even if I failed miserably. And I, in typically classy Alex fashion, incessantly complimented her looks. There were times that I could not think of anyone more beautiful. If she knew, she never said anything. She wouldn't be so cruel. I understood that I'm someone she could never like in that way. I had nothing to offer her. Oh yeah, that inspired another song:

It's not fair
I could give you everything you want, you don't want it from me.
I don't care
How often I get to see you, one look and I notice your beauty.

Yeah, I know that first line contradicts the whole "nothing to offer" thing, but I think I just wanted an excuse to look at these lyrics again. Not my best work. Rhyming "me" and "beauty"? Eeeehhh...But man, it was nice to feel something like that at the time. I think I'll mail it to those Simple Plan jag-offs, see if I can make some scratch. It'll probably blow their minds.

At least she might have found me amusing at times, so that was nice.

How do you explain something like that? I never wanted to. But now that I've diagnosed myself with having a Mia Sara Complex (or MSC from now on), I wonder if that's the reason for it all. What if all these romantic visions of Simone were spawned from that deep, unearthed psychosis? If anyone has seen these two women before, the superficial similarities are obvious. And then there's the name. This is where I start getting dangerous. Mia Sara's character in the film is named Sloane Peterson. Look at the initals!!! That's not a coincidence! And Sloane and Simone!!! I AM ONE SICK SONFABEE...no, I'm not doing that. I'm just a sick asshole.

This crush that I once thought was oddly charming has now become a case study. Evidence of my instability. The E equals mc squared of my libido.

I could go on forever about this, about her. I'll just leave it with a huge apology to Ms. Perrin for my wasting her time. Apparently, it was nothing after all.

*****

By the way, I am massively depressed.

PQ:

So why were you gonna stop by, anyhow?
Just somethin' I got for you. An' somethin' I wanted to say.
An' what might that be?
That you are pretty as the stars at evenin'.

1/09/2005 11:58:00 PM | Comments (0)

So 24's back. From now on, I will no longer be available between 9:00 and 10:00 on Monday nights. ...maybe I'll make an exception for one person, but the rest of you don't even bother trying to contact me, because I won't talk to you.

And I found this hilarious gif of Jack kneecapping Vernon Wells over and over again. And yes, it does kind of look like he's jerking off. But that's what I'm into, you know?

Good thing Lost isn't on Mondays.

1/09/2005 10:52:00 PM | Comments (0)

I set off today to help my cousin (at least, I think he's my cousin...) with his computer, and the next thing I know...I'm walking out of the comic shop down a hundred dollars and I've learned about the existence of my possible illegitimate son and I've asked him to join my crack team of oceanographers. I think there was a dinner at some point as well. So...all in all, a pretty boring day.

...

Or something, I don't know. I just needed to throw something up here, because I can't stand seeing The WAMBAG go two days without being fed. It's just cruel. See, I was going to post up a ton of kick ass links along with a bunch of kick ass new layouts...but somehow that just didn't happen. I really don't know how that fell apart. Might be laziness. I don't know for sure...but I'm guessing laziness at least had something to do with it.

Ah well. Just shut up and enjoy this Street Fighter line, you seeck sonabeeshes.

"For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me...it was Tuesday."

1/08/2005 10:37:00 PM | Comments (0)

Life is good. Sun is shining. Site is working.

Brought back the old layout for now, just to get things back to normal. I'm having some fun with PHP, and I should be able to have the other layouts working in the next couple of days. And of course, by "layouts" I really only meant one, single "layout" - and of course by "days" I of course meant "years". The new tagboard will take a while though. I still haven't figured some details out, and right now I'm too lazy to care. So let's welcome back the ad-infested one, just while we get settled in.

Anyway...

I got a bit curious the other day, and I got to wondering if I could get myself a pair of Team Zissou Adidas sneakers. I checked the official movie site first, which has a Store Zissou where you can buy the soundtrack. Oddly enough, the site indeed has the shoes, but it says they're sold out and discontinued. But I think it's just a gag - I don't think they ever actually sold the shoes.

So I did some more searching, and the closest thing I found were instructions on how to make your own. Apparently this guy's made some for eBay too, and they're going for big money. Though I think normal Adidas shoes go for at least fifty bucks a pair anyway.

And you can find some red Zissou beanies on eBay too. The official ones that they gave out at screenings - they look like Ned's, with the traffic lights and everything. I'd rather they just come like that, without the movie name stitched in the other side...but it's still neat. I'd provide a link, but I just don't feel like it.

How stupid is it?
For all I know you want me too.
And maybe you just don't know what to do.
Or maybe you're scared to say..."I'm falling for you."

1/06/2005 01:40:00 AM | Comments (0)

The Blueprint

I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

"Alligator Life".

That was supposed to be the name of this week's post. I was finally going to take a post to address my favourite metaphor. It was going to detail the physiology of the common alligator and explain how their long periods of inactivity and their violent outbursts were similar to the daily quagmire of human life and our own, brief moments of happiness, madness and growth. I made the decision to do this because my holiday was so long and uneven. I think I was off school for, like, a month. I'll sum it up quickly:

- Had a big Christmas dinner with my U-mates. We actually ("we" not including me of course, heh heh) cooked our own meal and everything. We sang karaoke and exchanged gifts. The best I could muster was a "meh" rendition of Hanging By A Moment because I broke the guy's guitar earlier in the night. I felt bad so I hung myself with a guitar string. A slab of turkey neck and it's hanging from a pigeon wing. I wanted to play The Messenger. Ah, well. The gift exchange went a lot better than I expected. An awesome night.

- The Philadelphia Trip. We're working on this article.

- Saw a lot of people over the holidays. Didn't realize how much I missed Eva. Curious. It was also great to finally catch up with Jenny after having not seen her in what seems like two years. Could it be? And good luck to Chris Sue. He's going to California...I'm not singing that stupid song.

Fill in the blanks with me working and staying up until daybreak playing videogames and there ya go. My holiday in a nutshell.

But yeah, you've been spared from that overly thought out post because of two reasons: 1. As usual, I'm lazy.

2. I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off again.

What does the second have to do with anything? Well, for starters, I love that movie. Definitely one of my top ten favourites...this week, at least. I remember watching it when I was a young pup and I must have seen it a hundred times since. Or half as many times as I've seen Van Helsing. Anyways, it's also insanely depressing for me. Is there any movie that glorifies youth more than this flick? Matthew Broderick aka Ferris ditches school, takes his best friend's dad's car, goes downtown to catch a baseball game and visit an art gallery (among other things), stars in a parade and gets away with it all. I barely skipped a class in high school. And another thing: He gets to make out with Mia Sara aka Sloane Peterson.

That's the reason for this post. Mia Sara. Sloane Peterson. The basis for which I would judge all other women for the rest of my life. I realized this while I was up at some ungodly hour watching the film. Well, that's not true. I didn't realize it right away. I woke up the next morning and it just hit me. Whenever someone asks me what my "type" of girl is, I never have an answer. I always just tell people that I like brunettes, rarely without anymore details. I think that's because I've always had a specific woman in mind. Now I know. It's Sloane Peterson.

So to every girl I've ever loved or even looked at in a lustful manner, I apologize. But don't just blame me. Blame John Hughes. Blame Matthew Broderick. Blame Mia Sara.

I'm working on a song about this. I've already written the first verse.

Preacher quotes...Preacher quotes...

The prince of peace will rule the world. The clouds will part. The sun will shine. The storm will end.
I notice it hasn't ended.
It's just a metaphor...

1/04/2005 09:48:00 PM | Comments (0)

You guys liking this sweet new default text layout yet? I like it so much that I might just scrap all the layouts I've been working on and just keep this. There's a nice rustic charm to it - I can learn to love it. I'll take your silence as a sign of approval.

Now it's time once again, for another installment of Provoking Facts from Choking Yak (still tweaking the title).

- The Anaheim Angels are changing their name to "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim". Now that's just stupid.

- Bought a nice Concepts in Programming Languages textbook for my Principles of Programming Languages class. It has pictures of a tiger, a cougar, and what appears to be a leopard on the cover. I don't get it. I think I'm going to look up the email address of thie author and ask him what the deal is. I'll keep you posted.

- I like the professor of this class too. For one, he looks younger than half the people taking the class. And when he was taking votes on when to hold office hours, he justified his final decisions by saying "well 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' as Mr. Spock told us in Star Trek." Which was kind of funny at first, but then he later on described functional programming languages by saying "Give it a lot of facts and ask it for an answer, and it'll give it to you. Just like Star Trek!"

...which is a reference I didn't catch. Looks to be an interesting semester.

- I think I lapsed out of consciousness for two to five minutes during my first class today. Not a good start.

- Went to that big T&T Chinese supermarket on the weekend because my brother want to stockup on supplies with my parents' money, which let me do some wandering around. I saw this unattended basket full of groceries just lying off the side of the fruits and vegetables section, near what I guessed was the center of the supermarket. And then I saw this guy - late 20's, early 30's - walk up and drop a bag of chips into the basket, and then walk off. Five minutes later, he comes back, drops in a bag of milk, and sets off again. So obviously...I stalk him. And so I discovered that he uses an unconventional shopping technique. He wanders around selecting his items individually, each time returning to the central location to make deposits. Which would let him wander freely, without needing to carry his heavy items around, or needing to wade through the crowds of dirty Chinese people with the big basket. Warrants some investigating.

- I also asked a stock boy what T&T stood for, just to screw with him. Because I was bored. He said to me "aisle four" before running off mysteriously. So I ran over, convinced the answer to the great T&T secret was hidden behind some secret lair accessable only through fiddling with the correct combination of grocery items on the shelves or something...and you know what was waiting for me in aisle four? Tea leaves.

Fucking chink.

1/03/2005 04:43:00 PM | Comments (0)

Still tweaking. It'll all be over soon. Might take me a little longer to get the tagboard the way I want it, but I'm not really in a rush to hear from you people.

In the meanwhile, here's a neat commercial to entertain yourself with.

1/02/2005 09:42:00 PM | Comments (0)

So we moved. And as you can see...most of the site's missing. I stripped the site down a bit, in preparation for some layout changes complete with PHP goodness. It's just that I haven't really finished (or started) the new layouts, so this is pretty much all there is for now.

But we're here, and so I at least have that. We're still The WAMBAG, but the site can now also be referred to as WAMBAG.COM...WAMBAG.com, wambag.com, or malaysianbearsluts.info...I really don't care how you capitilize it and stuff. The big thing is that we're not at Rogers anymore - the page should be at http://wambag.com/blog.html.

Depending on how busy I am for the next little while, the site should be completely back in top condition within the week. And maybe when it comes back, there'll be a new section or article along with it. I'm guessing there probably won't be though.

But usual business will now resume. No tagboard...no comments...it's a nice quiet little place for now, at least.

For those of you keeping score at home...
August 5th, 2002 - The WAMBAG launches.
January 1st, 2005 - WAMBAG.COM launches.
Febtember 65th, 2010 - The WAMBAG is sold to AOL Time Warner for eleventeen billion moon credits. (projected)

Can't nobody hold us down.

1/01/2005 01:54:00 AM | Comments (0)