Choking Yak
Did You Realize That You Are A Champion In Their Eyes?
I ran into some bad news when I got to work yesterday after the four day weekend - I had realized that I forgot my access card for the office in the pocket of the shirt I wore to the office on Thursday.
...luckily, I was re-wearing that very same shirt, and the card was still there in the front pocket.
Crisis averted!
Just one link this time, because I feel it deserves it's own space. This is the first of four parts of a DDT title match, featuring Kota Ibushi's KO-D Openweight Championship defense against YOSHIHIKO.
YOSHIHIKO, in case you're not hip to the Japanese indy wrestling scene, is an inflatable plastic sex doll.
If that doesn't sell this link, then I'm not sure what will...because the match is comprised of like four 10-11 minute parts (you might want to skip ahead to like the six or seven minute mark in the first one), and an appreciation for pro wrestling might be a prerequisite for enjoyment. However, I will say that it is the absolute finest 40-something minutes of footage captured between a sweaty man and an inflatable sex doll I have ever watched...which is actually pretty high praise indeed.
If you even casually enjoy pro wrestling, definitely check it out.
If you do not enjoy pro wrestling on any level, I would advise against checking it out.
INFINITY DESTROYER!!!
Choking Yak
Feliz Navidad
The first time I heard that song, I thought it was some Spanish guy's name. Like it was a song about the Mexican Santa, the guy who Generic White Santa delegated all the Mexican homes to because he didn't want to cross into Mexico. I was pretty racist as a kid too.
Although I'm still not too sure I want Santa crossing in Mexico, you know what with all the big swine flu fuss and so forth earlier in the year. Everyone knows that elementary schools are like the biggest cesspools of disease there are because children are really just walking factories of contagion, spewing out germs and snot like greenhouse gases into the atmosphere of societal well being - how has no one ever considered how Santa Claus might be like the ultimate disease vector of all time? Weird pedophile-vibe aside, consider that he visits the homes of every single child on Earth in one single night. That big furry coat must be festering with all sorts of nasty stuff, and he also gets milk and cookies handled by diseased children from all over the world. Santa, I don't want you giving my kids shitty wooden rocking horses or train sets if it means they also get some wacky strain of Bosnian flu along with it.
Or maybe some dirty strain of Elven AIDS - I don't know what happens up there in the North Pole during the other 11 months of the year.
Moving on.
I want to thank everyone for their well wishes and also for your gifts. They touched my heart, and they will likely continue to touch the hearts of whomever I decide to re-gift them to next year. Merry Christmas one and all!
"What's to-day?" cried Scrooge, calling downward to a boy in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look about him.
"Eh?" returned the boy, with all his might of wonder.
"What's to-day, my fine fellow?" said Scrooge.
"To-day?" replied the boy. "Why, Christmas Day."
Choking Yak
We Can't Repel Flavour Of That Magnitude
Is it ironic that the first time I've posted in almost two weeks is now when I've finally returned to work? Or is it just...appropriate? I didn't even go anywhere, I just sat around at home for 11 straight days sleeping in until 2:30 in the afternoon, pondering the futility of my own existence. Really, the only truly productive thing I accomplished on my "vacation" was when I managed to procrastinate all of my Christmas shopping until three days before Christmas, my last day off from work...and my brother and I managed to completely finish our entire list of 20+ people in under three hours across three malls, all with surprisingly solid gifts. I have a feeling that feat's going to remain unbeaten for a while, like when I blew through airport security and ran across all of Pearson International in 30 minutes to get to the gate right before departure (disclaimer: I was solo, with no check-in luggage), drove from my house to AL's in 13 minutes (this was during the first year of my G2 when I didn't grasp human mortality yet - I hit like 110 going up Warden, it was insane), or when I scored 5 out of our team's 7 points in one of our basketball pick-up games (entirely on offensive putbacks/garbage baskets and wide open jumpers). Although the last one MIGHT happen again if I'm guarded by David (any of them), Rod, or Dennis. Jesus Christ, those guys are terrible.
I certainly didn't stop wasting my life away on the internet in my time off - I devoured a massive amount of mental junkfood, which I will just dump out here. Some of these are already a few days (weeks?) old so I'm just going to forget about rationing them out over a series of regular posts, and I'm opting to completely oversaturate my single post with them instead. If we move quickly and don't linger too much, we may all survive this.
Ready? LET'S GO!
- Check out the World Extreme Cagefighting debut of Chris Horodecki, who hails from London, Ontario and is nicknamed "The Polish Hammer" (not to be confused with the 70's wrestling superstar Ivan Putski or Orlando Magic center Marcin Gortant, who are both also nicknamed "The Polish Hammer"). How he did not instantly die from that I will never know. Good to see Steve Mazzagatti once again at the top of his game as well.
- This is probably the most bizarre news story I've seen in a long while - honestly the first time through I thought people had hacked the Times or something. Forest ninja, cat burglar, pizza lover. Can't wait to watch the movie in three years.
- Another movie that I can't wait to watch...Frozen - the story of three skiers who are "stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life-or-death choices that prove more perilous than staying put and freezing to death." I think those are wolves in the trailer? Holy shit that is awesome. (Or IS it? I don't even know anymore. ...help me.)
- Left 4 Dead 2 gingerbread cookies, a periodic table made of cupcakes, Cookie Monster and Rammstein, a Pokemon calculus test answer, and The TV Show - an animated Japanese music video that is really cool. Don't linger, keep moving! STAY WITH ME!!!
- This is a whole gallery of pictures of a blackboard daily specials sign from some random coffee shop, whose location I have not been able to determine as of yet. Although the one reference to "The Coalition" and the spelling of "flavour" would obviously reveal some Canadian origin. Even just the first one alone is worth the click.
EDIT: It is in Edmonton. My internet detective/stalking skills remain as sharp as ever.
- Ledge Fighters and The Decision from some guys named Ninja Sex Party. We need to get one of those dummies, seriously.
- I've lost count of all the ways in which Tim Duncan is awesome, but let's add Having The Most Ballin'est Shoes In The NBA to the list. Kevin Durant, not so much.
- Finally, I'm going to introduce two new shows to you. The first is Louie CK's return to television, Louie, featuring easily the longest and most offensive trailer I have ever seen for a television series. The next is The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret, a new British series that is written by and stars David Cross, whose first episode features former television-brother-in-law Will Arnett doing vintage Will Arnett things, Spike Jonze with a beard, and some other British people that I'm not familiar with. How do I know this? Because I watched a chunk of the first episode here. And then later I watched the rest of the episode by downloading it here.
Brian has an STD
MaxSnax
Trailers, trailers, and more trailers.
Here's you go:
1) The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Alex mentioned this one to me so I thought I'd point this one out. This looks almost TOO bad.
2) Alice in Wonderland
The new Alice in Wonderland trailer. This looks almost TOO good.
3) Robin Hood
The tag team of Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe are back!
4) Clash of the Titans
Is Sam Worthington in like EVERY big budget movie?
5) Iron Man 2
Scarlett!
Choking Yak
More Than Meets The Eye
Max's awesome Michael Bay commercial just made me realize that I never got around to posting my favourite Michael Bay video ever, a Michael Bay montage. Odd that a video whose purpose was to hate on Michael Bay just made me appreciate him even more. Michael Bay is the best there is at what he does...but what he does isn't very nice. (Or was that Wolverine...?)
Except for Transformers 2, which was largely unforgivable. Also, I had actually seen that montage video some time shortly before the movie, and was actually actively looking out for the obligatory helicopters at sunset scene.
Didn't see it. I saw lots of helicopters, a lot of sunsets, and a lot of planes at sunset, but no helicopters at sunset. That ended up probably being the most disappointing thing about that movie, among numerous other disappointing things.
Also, while I'm here...Improv Everywhere (I think Sheep has posted stuff from them before, like their Moebius prank) pulled another prank at a recent Knicks game, in which one of them pretends to be lost and the others shout his name (which they had previously successfully pulled off at Yankees game). I assure you, it's a lot more entertaining than it sounds.
Oh man...what you doing with a gun in space?
MaxSnax
Michael Bay is awesome.
The commercial for the 2009 Victoria's Secret Show directed by the one and only Michael Bay.
Note 0:26 and 1:14. The only thing missing is a slow motion American flag blowing in the wind.