I want to go Candlepin bowling. I discovered it five minutes ago, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since. That is probably because I decided to immediately blog about it, which makes it difficult to stop thinking about it.

I don't know why. I don't even think it'll be that fun. It actually sounds like the most frustrating activity of all time. And there is a large possibility that I won't remember why I want to go Candlepin bowling once I wake up tomorrow...but with God as my witness, on this night of July 31st, 2006, I - Choking Yak - expressed an inexplicable and moderately deep desire to go Candlepin bowling.

Maybe it's the prospect of getting to bowl three times per frame. There's something very appealing about that notion.

By the way, if you're reading this and looking for inside jokes or sexual innuendos, give up, because there's none to find. I'm tired from a long day of work, and I want to go fucking Candlepin bowling.

I'm tired from a long day of work, and I want to go fucking Candlepin bowling.

7/31/2006 11:56:00 PM | Comments (0)

Let the YouTube links run wild and free!

- Remember that Asian dude that The Lonely Island guys left when they joined up with SNL? He's not dead! The Diary of Chez. I actually like him better - and it hasn't nothing to do with him being Asian. It's more about them being white.

- And does Kumar from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle have a real name, and more importantly...does it matter? Chez, Kumar, and Brandon Routh (why?) together in The Avon Lady.

- Summer league clips of Andrea Bargnani aka "Il Mago"...and yes, we're going to need a better nickname. That off balance jumpshoot is Chris Bosh smooth.

- And finally, Time 4 Bed. Like a poor man's Lazy Sunday, but Parns-less...so...really...nothing at all like Lazy Sunday. His total commitment to his craft is inspiring though. He really sells the whole thing.

No seriously though, I gotta go to bed.

7/28/2006 10:41:00 PM | Comments (0)

Get ready for the shock of your life...

Lance Bass: I'm gay

Wow. What's Conan gonna do now?

Bonus points if you remembered Lance Bass before clicking on the link. In tomorrow's headlines...

Clay Aiken/Hugh Jackman/Any WAMBAG.COM member: Me too
Barry Bonds: I'm 'roidin'
Simple Plan: We suck
OJ Simpson: I'm guilty
The sky: It's blue

What a world.

(One more Turtles link...dare you not to laugh.)

Dirty pop, yo.

7/26/2006 11:34:00 PM | Comments (0)

Dammit, I hate it when Sheep beats me to an awesome link.

Here's some movie posters as a follow-up. Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Leonardo.

Not since X-Men have I prayed this hard for a movie to do well. ...well maybe Batman Begins, but that was kind of a lock.

By the way, if Raphael isn't your favourite, then you're a flaming homosexual.

Also, regarding Transformers again - apparently there's a wild internet rumour out (so you know it MUST be true) that a picture of Optimus Prime has been leaked! And here it is! No lie, that's the rumour. To be honest, this one seems a bit more official and looks completely different...but at this point, I think I'm almost rooting for the flame-decaled-takin'-care-of-business-white-mobile.

...one more link to leave you with...Will Ferrell at the ESPY's. Good looking out, AL.

In conclusion, this has been one of the crappiest posts I've ever scrambled together. Definitely one of my lazier efforts. Meh.

Now I will quote the side of my cereal box. Honey Nut O's, which taste more like Chinese Newspaper O's, but were priced accordingly. Never will I compromise with something as important as my cereal again.

SOURCE OF 9 ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS
EXCELLENT SOURCE OF IRON
CONTAINS NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS OR COLOURS

It's that easy. I am tired.

7/24/2006 10:30:00 PM | Comments (0)

Hot off the heels of Yak's nostalgia-inducing Transformers post is the trailer for shelled reptiles who practice the art of ninjitsu.

7/21/2006 01:06:00 AM | Comments (0)

Remember that bomb scare outside your place of work yesterday that took twenty minutes out of your life because the police wouldn't let you cross the street to get back from lunch?

Or was that just me?

All that for a pair of pants from Dockers.

I got these in an email after a coworker remembered he had a camera.



Fuck those sixteenth story 640 Toronto guys, we were on the sixth floor. That's The WAMBAG, baby - always bringing you up-to-the-second news reports on the happenings of your city. That's what we're here to do, that's what we've always done, that's what we'll always do.

And now a special YouTube report from your man on the street Choking Yak.

The Rude Awakening of Optimus Prime. Pretty much my entire take on the movie, which was just a (somewhat) clever marketing gig to replace the G1 guys with the next loser generation, and sell more toys. Still can't believe how Iron Hide went out like that. Shit was cold blooded. 'cept they realized that they couldn't replace one of the greatest leaders of the modern age with the biggest pussy of any age, and they had to bring back Optimus. I think the most impressive thing about that was how well they got the voices down.

However, the entire Autobot City sequence at the beginning (along with Hot Rod racing back while pumping out Dare) automatically makes the movie completely untouchable, regardless of everything else.

...though this probably doesn't mean anything to you if you haven't watched Transformers: The Movie at least twice.

Speaking of which, here's some (...two) pictures of Bumblebee (One two!) and Brawl (One two!) for the new one coming up by Michael "Fuck Yo Cuban Crack Village" Bay. You can play around with the numbers in the URL, but there's nothing else that's too interesting. Brawl was the tank Combaticon, but I guess he's FIVE-OH now. Which makes me wonder what's up with Jazz. I hope Jazz is in the movie.

This movie's going to be FAST, and it's going to be FURIOUS. The preliminary Van Helsing Scale readings are disturbingly high.

And finally, in honour of Big AL's supposed upcoming resignation, Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager. The Randy scene is solid, but it's pretty much downhill from there. This is a Star Wars thing, so forget about this entire paragraph, Jess.

Give me back that fucking Matrix immediately.

7/20/2006 10:46:00 PM | Comments (0)

Some quality "IRL" jackassery here and here.

Warms the cockles of my heart. Warms them, I say.

NINJA! Check out their website. There are a lot of goodies there, including the Ted's Birthday and the Moebius. If I do one thing in my life and then die completely satisfied, I want to pull off a Moebius.

7/18/2006 10:14:00 PM | Comments (0)

The Hard Sell

Go-Go Gadget Gospel - Gnarls Barkley

I'd be surprised if you guys hadn't seen this Japanese Xbox 360 ad yet. Still, it's worth adding it to the Wambag's storied link collection.

So...we're all getting 360s now, right?

Do! Do! Do!

7/18/2006 12:08:00 PM | Comments (0)

LINKS FOR YOU FROM ME

- Come Fall 2006, I'm going to have Hugh Jackman stank all over me...and it's going to be heaven. First, Scoop in two weeks. Then another comic book movie The Fountain coming October 13. And finally, originally mentioned by Big AL back on 06/06/06...THE PRESTIGE!!! Batman vs. Wolverine, hollatacha boy, dipset, no homo! Since when was "Abbracadabra." such a badass line?

And Scarlett Johansson in two of three? That's just uncalled for. RE-DIC-Q-LOUS-NESS-ALL-OVA-DIS-BIZZ-A-NESS.

- Tying a better shoelace? Insanity. I pledge to eventually attempt to adapt this method and report back on my findings.

- And now the YouTube portion of our program.

Wallflowers & Bruce Springsteen - One Headlight (Live). Copped this from the Sports Guy's latest mailbag, and I watched this with AL on Friday, but I thought everyone should be aware of this anyway. Watch as Jakob Dylan is completely destroyed by The Boss while he sings his own song at the 1998 MTV Video Music Awards. But honestly, what can you do? Springsteen was like an unstoppable Force of Nature in that clip, trampling all over him with that 8 power. I loved The Wallflowers. Where have they gone? I miss them.

Pickle Girl. Okay, she's afraid of pickles. So let it be and move on. Why's Maury gotta be such an asshole about it? That's just mean.

Best fight scene of all time (is this gay?). I think this one's flagged, so I think you'll need an account to watch it or something. It's worth it though. For the entire last two minutes, I couldn't stop laughing and screaming out "Oh shit! OH SHIT!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?!" You've been warned.

- This is the real gem right here though - the pilot of a new The Amazing Screw-On Head series!!! Three exclamation marks to indicate extra awesomeness!

The Amazing Screw-On Head was a one-shot comic book by Mike Mignola (the Hellboy guy) which won the 2003 Eisner Award for Best Humor Publication (the same year that my favourite monthly Fables won for Best New Series). For those of you won don't speak comic book nerd, the Eisners are to comic books what the Oscars and Grammies are for movies and music. The pilot follows the issue pretty closely, so after you've watched it, that'll put us both on fairly even ground in terms of being Amazing Screw-On Head experts.

I am Mike Mignola's bitch, by the way. He could defecate on a napkin, and I would still be like "This is the greatest comic book ever. Tell your shop to put in advance orders for Dark Horse's Napkin Defecation right away! Support this shit! It'll blow your mind."

So seeing Mike Mignola art so closely approximated in cartoon form was a really cool touch. I love how all those Korean animators they got slaving away have kept so closely to his style. And having his characters voiced by that dude from Sideways , Niles Crane, and Molly Shannon is just top notch cake icing. I caught a glimpse of Patton Oswalt's name in the opening credits, but I couldn't really tell what he did in the episode.

I love it. And once it hits, you can bet your fucking ass that I'm going to be ALL OVER the torrents!

Definitely this is the wrong place to be
There's blood on the futon, there's a kid drinking fire

7/16/2006 11:45:00 PM | Comments (0)

Thrown To The Wolves

Never Is Enough - Barenaked Ladies

As I type this, I'm currently having an msn conversation with Annia. This was necessitated by the fact that some confusion lead us to miss a scheduled Skype meeting on Thursday. It's funny, because I was expecting her to be mad at me that I screwed up somehow so I immediately opened up by apologizing and assuming guilt. She wasn't, though I'm sure she was annoyed that things didn't go as planned. In the past I might have antagonized her and demanded to know whose fault it was, but it didn't occur to me to act like that. No, we brushed the incident off and continued our chat. It's amazing how easy it is to avoid confrontation when you genuinely cannot live without the person in question. My patience with her is infinite, not that I need that much.

*****

My boss finally gave me a raise. To $8.45 an hour. That's 70 cents, by the way. Son of a bitch. This is clearly a misguided attempt by him to get me to stay. I should thank him though. He's finally given me something to walk away from. Before, leaving my job was a decision of little consequence. It was like telling myself to stop smashing my head against a wall for five hours a day. Now there is temptation. Now I can see a reason that leaving might not be a great idea. Now, more than ever, I know I'm making the right decision.

Fifteen days left.

*****

Today was a day I'd been looking forward to for a while. The New College Student Council Frosh Week 2006 executives and I were having a meeting...at Woodbine Beach. Normally we stuff ourselves into this meeting room at the University of Toronto, but this time we decided to have a "Bonding Event" and what better way to do that than to run around in the sand for four hours while making awkward conversation? I'm kidding. It turned out to be a great time.

Due to an unfortunate case of can't-get-my-ass-out-of-bed-itis, I was a little over an hour late. I felt bad because apparently there were a series of mini crises to deal with early on and I wasn't around to help. At the least, I could have supplied them with an unending supply of witty comments. When I arrived, Michelle (who was organizing this particular event) was still coming down from her freak out and Julius (the Frosh Committee Chair) was in a pissy mood. After downing some sausages and tossing around the ol' pigskin, Julius and I broke away from the pack to go and find a cake for Michelle. It was her birthday on Saturday.

A brief recap. We walked about ten minutes to his vehicle, which was parked far, far away. Then we drove for a while until we found a Loblaw's and picked up a cake. Then we drove back and had to find a new spot, so we ended up parking in construction area. Probably unwise. Then we walked all the way back to the beach and gave Michelle the cake. I also bought her a book called How Animals Have Sex. She's minoring in Zoology and that was enough justification for me. A couple of our friends were leaving, so Julius decided that he would take their spot so his car wouldn't get towed. So we walked back to his car, changed spots and then walked back to the beach again.

Other than sharing this tedious journey with you, I also wanted to let you know that the whole time we were doing all this walking Julius was telling me about how planning Frosh Week 2006 was driving him CRAZY. Not only was he saddled with numerous responsibilities, but the chores that he could delegate were not being handled with the utmost expediency. He spent almost the entire day venting his frustrations, even when I tried to change the subject. I asked him about his courses and about his girlfriend, but it always came back to his troubles. That's a classic Julius Ko move right there. I was feeling surprisingly light today, so I listened and dispensed my unique form of terse, useless wisdom. He didn't completely unwind until we finally dove into the waters of Lake Ontario. Aaaaah, taste that sweet, refreshing disease! I noticed him immediately perk up though. I like to think I helped him out by being there for him, but I think being surrounded by cute, soaking wet, scantily clad Asian girls also contributed to his change in demeanor. He looked alive again. I went to go play some soccer with committee members I didn't know (it's a bonding event, okay?) and left him to his pleasures. I ended up bruising my foot, but I was happy that Julius was finally letting go of his responsibilities.

After cleaning up after ourselves, we headed to Mr. Greek for dinner, courtesy of the New College Student Council. Hoo-ra! It was excellent, even though I ended up overeating and dry heaving outside of a Burger King about an hour later. Not important to the story. Normally, when I'm at one of these social gatherings I stick to Michelle or Julius and use them as a buffer to avoid dealing with people one on one or, even worse, entertaining a group of people. Somehow I got seperated from both of them and ended up at a table with David and a bunch of people I know little about even after a handful of meetings.

David was no help at all. Somehow, SOMEhow, the conversation kept getting redirected towards me and my program and my future goals. Anyone who knows me knows that I love talking about myself, just...not that stuff. Especially since everytime I started talking, everyone listened to me even though there were eight people at the table! Ugh. So I inevitably ended up talking about my hatred of my Film minor, my constant nap taking and my lack of any plans for the future whatsoever. Not once did David try and redirect the conversation to himself or even attempt to change the subject. He sat there, satisfied with gorging himself on shrimp pasta. It wasn't so bad, I guess. I ended up breaking out an old Psychology Seminar story and got a big laugh, which allowed me to relax for a few seconds. I also threw in some drug humour (our waiter looked slightly burnt) for good measure.

I made it through the night alive and ended up bumming a ride off of Jess' friend's sister, Queenie. We both live in Markham and yet it never occurred to me to ask her for a ride before. She had a Hedley CD playing in the car and her and this guy, Bernard, were extolling its virtues. To be nice, I said I didn't know much about them (which is true) and that I was more into stuff from the Canadian indy scene. Bernard asked if I was referring to Simple Plan. I held back my anger and then proceeded to explain why bands like Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, Theory Of A Deadman, etc. suck. I cited my usual resources (Nirvana, Pearl Jam, The Arcade Fire) and then gave them a taste of the other side of things. "Indulge me," I said before blasting them with some Mushaboom. Then I laid some Stars on them and wrapped it up with The New Pornographers. They seemed to like it. I don't think it changed their lives one bit, but at least they know where I'm coming from. It was the most civil conversation I've ever had about Simple Plan. I didn't even mention my desire to inflict great violence upon them.

One last bit about the beach. I love it. I love watching beautiful beach creatures. I love the mad dash I have to make across the sand to prevent the nerves on my feet from being fried. I love the all the cliche baptism and rebirth imagery that comes with being immersed in freezing cold water and coming out knowing that today was more glorious than yesterday and tomorrow will be even better. It wasn't exactly like that for me today, but maybe it was for Julius.

Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Yeah, well he blessed you too, and I'll give you a hint what it is: It's round, has three holes and you put your fingers in it.
You leave Rebecca out of this!

7/16/2006 10:41:00 PM | Comments (0)

PLEASE BABY, FORGIVE ME. The site was down for three days, and I didn't know it went back up yet! I was even going to post that Jordan link, but fucking Big AL beat me to it. But instead of the Hugh Jackman bit, I was going to go with a variation of "Well, I'd like to sue the sexiest man in the universe...but then I realized that you can't sue yourself. ZING ZAM ZOOM!!!" ...but I don't really know if that makes sense.

So I guess our webspace host decided to do another server migration or something and didn't feel like telling us before scrapping the last two week's versions of the files and somehow intermittingly removing half of Superman's body as some sort of a surprise gag gift.

Those magnificent bastards.

They're lucky that this webspace is dirt cheap and that all The WAMBAG content is stored on Blogger, otherwise their technical support team would have been in store for a somewhat stern, borderline passive aggressive email complaint. In which I would use words like "frustrating" or "disappointing" to voice my mild displeasure. Perhaps even the word "exasperating" could have found its way into that email if I wasn't able to hold back and just barely keep the anger bottled in.

I mean...I'm a peaceful man, but DAMN son, mess with the bull, you get the horns!

Let's get some low effort, low quality YouTube links up on the board to get it rolling again.

- Dumbland. Just...retarded. I don't even know what I'm laughing at. I'm posting this because I need someone else to validate it's worth in hilarity so I know that I'm not becoming crazy/white.

- Remember when Colbert and Carell were both still fresh, promising minor league stars coming up together on The Daily Show? It's weird seeing Steve Carell pull that very same "Go ahead, punch me!" bit on Conan years later while promoting 40 Year-Old Virgin, only more refined. The eyeball bit killed me.

And hey, remember when Michael Young and Vernon Wells were both still fresh, promising minor league stars coming up together on Toronto's Triple A affiliate team? It's weird seeing Michael Young becoming the reigning American League batting champion years later after we traded him for Esteban Loaiza and haven't had a productive middle infielder for over ten years. And when Vernon signs a big free agent deal with Texas in two years, they'll be together again!

By the way Jess, I was taping the All-Star game...but the tape ran out after two and a half hours. So I think I missed BJ Ryan's perfect inning to get the win, and Troy Glaus' ninth inning double to set-up Michael Young's 2-out, 2-strike, 2-RBI, All-Star Game winning triple against the most successful closer of all time. ...well, the tape missed it. But I caught it, and that's really all that matters.

Okay, one more small sports bit and then we're done.

Headbutt! It's completely infested YTMND like some sort of super virulent, cybernetic veneral disease. I'd throw up some links...but it's not very difficult to imagine it for yourself.

I dedicate these lines from a commercial for a product I've long forgotten to my girlfriend, currently vacationing in the chink motherland, and hopefully coming back very soon. Because her awesomeness is missed.

"I got these golf clubs."
"Those are gorgeous."
"They're made of gold."
"Wow, that's terrific."

7/12/2006 10:19:00 PM | Comments (0)

These Days

These Days - Nico

This Saturday I'm handing in my two weeks notice to my manager. It's official. The Alex Lee era at Food Basics is coming to an end. Let's take a look back at the fantastic run I put into this place:

- 2+ years of steady work without taking a serious vacation
- 2200 hours of my life I'll never get back
- 3240 shopping carts moved
- at least $100 made in leftover quarters from shopping carts
- 1 major argument with a customer who NEVER came back to the store again
- 11 awkward heart to hearts with the boss
- 550 prices made up because the barcodes didn't work or I couldn't recognize a certain vegetable
- 1 truly unfortunate crush
- 2 Erin Dunlop sightings
- approx. 800 laps around the store, running from end to end for one reason or another
- countless satisfied customers

I'm sure I'm forgetting some things, but those statistics do a decent job of summing up my experiences at Food Basics. Obviously, a part of me is torn up about leaving. You spend so much time doing one thing, even if it's getting stabbed with a knife, and you're eventually going to grow a fondness for it. Perhaps fondness is too strong a word. Dependence. That's better. It is going to be an odd experience for me to not have the dread of an impending work day looming over my head. I haven't quite gathered all my thoughts on this subject yet. Let's move on.

*****

I hope things work out for this guy suing Michael Jordan. If he wins, I'm sooo suing Hugh Jackman. It's really getting to be a problem.

*****

Last Thursday night, I got dragged downtown to have a Frosh Committee meeting with Julius and some other people. Normally, I would have told him to screw himself but a voice in my head kept reminding me about commitment and sacrifice and all that junk and I decided to suck it up and go. We were down there until about two in the morning, if I recall correctly. I forced Julius to give me a ride home. His car was having problems, so I told him to stay over. I was as tired as hell, but he kept me up all night trying to give me girl advice. Normally, that's all I talk about, but for once I actually just wanted to go to sleep. In the morning, he called a tow truck to take him and his hunk of junk home. It was fun time though, and I hope he knows that he's got a homie in Markham that he can hit up anytime he needs a place to stay. He's a good man.

The girl issue is actually something that has been coming up very often these days. You know how it is, when a topic comes up in your life, it seems like everyone wants to talk about it. Like they can sense that it's on your mind. So yeah, even moreso than usual I have people from all sides giving me advice and pep talks and support and letting me know that, "It's gonna happen for you sometime, big guy!" Thanks, everyone.

After Julius left, I had to get ready to go out with Natasha. I hadn't seen her in forever. That was one of the toughest parts of the last year, not being able to see friends. I swear, the longest conversation I had with Michelle was when I was mad at her for not talking to me. As for Natasha, our schedules were always conflicting...or something. Regardless, we ran into each other once or twice but we didn't get to do much. So we made plans to watch a movie last Friday. We didn't want to watch Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, because we knew it would be as busy as hell. We ended up walking around Scarborough Town for an hour or so, stopping at pet shops and such.

Afterwards, we went to get coffee. I had my first mochaccino (meh) and Natasha ordered a fruity shake. She tortured our waitress about wanting sweetener and not sugar. She's on one of those gimmick diets. Let me tell you something. I complain all the time about girls having the upper hand on guys, but this is the one area where guys have the advantage. I can't believe the things that girls have to do to look good for us and how much they worry about it. Most guys can get away with looking like shit and still get some decent tail, but girls work hard for the attention they receive.

We decided to watch The Break-Up. A lot more serious than I expected. The trailers sell it as kind of a wacky romantic comedy, but it's a lot smarter than you'd think. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston deliver solid performances, which you forget they're capable of after watching Vince improvise his way through his comedies and Jennifer do her thing on Friends. Good movie.

The whole time, Natasha was telling me about her boyfriend and how jealous he got when he heard she was going out with me. She said she was going to tell him about all the crazy, sexy stuff we did today (in her head at least). We had a good laugh about it. Then, he actually called her and I think he was kind of pissed and then she felt bad about making him jealous. Even though she knew this was exactly what would happen. Damn, girls are crazy.

The whole day was awesome, albeit exhausting. Natasha is one of my favourite people in the world.

*****

Here is a cartoon made using audio from a hilarious Dane Cook bit about Kool-Aid. OH YEAAAAAAHHHH!!!

*****

My schedule is set for my last year of school. To say that I "chose" my courses would be grossly inaccurate. It would be more accurate to say that my dumbass selected an unorthodox combination of programs that resulted in me only having a handful of options if I hope to graduate within the next 18 months. I also did two things I swored I would never do after last year: I have a lecture that ends at 9:00 and it's three hours long. Strangely, I am still looking forward to the coming year. In unrelated news, I'm half retarded.

*****

Jess, it occurred to me the other day that you should have taken your guitar overseas to duel with strangers in a strange land. A lost opportunity if there ever was one.

*****

This coming Sunday our Frosh Committee is having a beach party. There's this girl named Patricia who I think is kind of cute. I'll keep you posted.

Richie, this illness, this closeness to death...it's had a profound effect on me. I feel like a different person, I really do.
Dad, you were never dying.
But I'm gonna live!

7/12/2006 02:13:00 PM | Comments (0)

EMERGENCY POST

I've just uncovered a secret plot that would fundamentally change the world as we know it, and destroy all of our lives and those of our loved ones.

There are rumours of Rush Hour 3 from Ain't It Cool News (so you know it MUST be credible).

But guess who's supposedly signed on to play the villian? Either you'll never get it, or you'll get it immediately. Want a hint?

Let's just say...Jackie Chan's ass is gonna get keecked SO HOWRD...hes next wannabe...isgonnafeelit.

Also, apparently Kramer's supposed to be attached too...which is like winning a $70,000,000 lottery jackpot one day, and then winning a new lawnmower at the church raffle the next Sunday.

7/06/2006 11:53:00 PM | Comments (0)

We should do this. The scary part is that I think I'm only half-joking.

7/05/2006 10:25:00 AM | Comments (0)

Three thirty in the morning...I can't sleep, and I have this bizarre craving for a ham, cheese, and mushroom omelet. Also, ice cream.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think I'd be pregnant. Or that I'd just finished smoking fifty pounds of weed.

Anyway, all of that lead to the discover of this - combining two McDonald's quarter pounders together along with strips of actual bacon, and deep frying it in a beer batter.

A deep fried burger that gets you drunk. Surely, the American dream, fully realized.

Anyway, I've just made a vow to myself to experience this monstrosity first hand. And so I felt compelled to make this post as a record of my discovery, because one day, when they find me dead on my kitchen floor clutching at the gaping cavity in my chest caused by my heart exploding...you'll know what happened. And you'll know that I tasted heaven right before heading on up there.

I think I'm going to go check out the 24 hour Dominion near my house for a tub of vanilla or something. I should really keep one of those in the house at all times.

I wanna talk to SAMSON!!!

7/03/2006 03:42:00 AM | Comments (0)