MaxSnax
The King of Fighters
I bring to you...the TRAILER FOR THE KING OF FIGHTERS!
11/28/2009 04:07:00 PM | Comments (0)
I bring to you...the TRAILER FOR THE KING OF FIGHTERS!
11/28/2009 04:07:00 PM | Comments (0)
You know how sometimes when you're living at home, and your parents go away for a week on vacation, and you take your own week off from work to coincide with that week so that you can spend like just nine straight days alone in your house without any human interaction? And then even though there are two store bought pizzas in the fridge already, you end up buying two large pizzas from Domino's anyway, because you just feel like eating something unhealthy, and they have a two-for-one special on Tuesdays, and hey, it's Tuesday? And then you eat half of one large pizza and can't quite finish half of the other one, so when you combine both pizza halves in one box, there's like two slices left over and you don't know where to put them?
God, I HATE when that happens.
Also, I am watching Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past right now, and it is an absolutely horrible movie. It's so idiotic and pretentious...this is a romantic comedy! I was not prepared to hate this movie as much as I do.
But it has Amanda Walsh in it, so it's not that bad.
Also high gas prices...? I do not like them.
- Three covers of the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air are provided here, for your listening pleasure. Waiting in an airport with an ukulele and violin, by Jimmy Fallon while doing a spot-on Neil Young impression, and by Toronto indie artist Kay Pettigrew.
- Also, here is the Muppet version of Bohemian Rhapsody. I think I like this cover the best.
- My love for cereal and my love for flowcharts...finally combined together. My personal cereal choice is Honey Bunches of Oats - it's unnerving how accurate this chart is.
- The nerdy part of me appreciates new screwdriver innovations as much as anyone, but part of me (the part unaccustomed to any sort of manual labour...likely also the nerdy part) just doesn't understand how often the need for high torque screwdrivers arises in life. Also, the immature and juvenile part of me would like to point out that one of the Chinese inventors of this glorious perpendicular screwdriver is named...Wang Dongdong. Wang Dongdong! I don't even really care about the screwdriver, MY GOD...the name!
- This is GOCHU, a Korean drama parody. Absolutely pitch perfect, so fantastic that it makes me wish I've watched more Korean dramas in my life so that I could have better appreciated this.
- What if I told you I had a set of King of Fighters cards with the heads of NBA personalities Photoshopped onto them? Would that be something you'd be interested in? I know, it sounds awesome, but I promise you it's even more awesome than you could possibly imagine. I don't know if the Steve Nash one is my favourite or the Larry Bird one is...I really think it's too close to call between those two.
I Love This Game
11/28/2009 05:34:00 AM | Comments (0)
This is a bizarre news story about how a South Park episode incited a "hate crime."
I find so many different aspects of this story just so absolutely hilarious. The actual clips from the show, the grave seriousness of the reporters and how they are treating people with red hair like they are some other species of human beings, the interview with that half Asian family...everything is funny to me. Even the fact that the joke is four years old already and exactly the type of outdated joke 7th graders would find hilarious. I think this is a bigger issue than it seems. Seriously, there is something odd and weirdly isolated about the sense of humour that develops between classes of 12 to 14 year-olds, and I think we should take a closer look at it.
They spend all day hanging out with the same 20-30 people and no one else, so once something is collectively deemed funny, it spreads all over and is abused until it's dead. Furthermore, the chances that someone will recognize an old joke are much lower. When you get older and start interacting with the rest of a high-school or university population, there's a higher threshold for what's deemed funny, and you don't see these severely localized infections of outdated jokes as much. Much like with actual diseases, a more comedically diverse population will have more immunities to old and bad jokes. In the same way you could still likely infect a remote Amazonian village with polio, you could very well infect a current 7th grade class with "I'm Rick James, bitch!" and other Dave Chappelle bits. They don't have the general immunity that people in the rest of the world have already built up.
In this case, it doesn't surprise me that these 12 year-olds are laughing about an episode that's four years old already. Four years ago they were eight and very likely not watching original South Park airings. I'm betting someone in that class just recently found out about the show and became Patient Zero in spreading Ginger Kids around his fellows.
I will leave out the specific details of our own junior high comedic leanings, but you see it all the time. Like how people my 9th grade class were saying "Gooney Goo Goo" nonstop for like three weeks after they had suddenly discovered Eddy Murphy's Delirious (1983) for the first time. (Of course, YouTube didn't exist back then...so guys were just passing around a single audio cassette for others to listen to themselves on their own walkman. ...although CD players, MP3's, and MiniDisc players were certainly popular already...so I guess our class was just really out of date.) I felt like a white guy witnessing a small pox epidemic in the New World for the first time, it was horrible...and yet oddly compelling.
Ramping up efforts to spread awareness of racism isn't the answer. The answer lies in ramping up efforts to spread awareness of bad, outdated comedy by abolishing the isolation between junior high school classes. What happens when a kid hops on the internet and discovers AYBABTU for the first time? The first time he talks about it (perhaps with his peers in Ben 10 forum) he is instantly called a faggot on the internet, and the infection is cured. We need to apply the same sort of principle to our junior high schools. Just like how some parents are embracing the controversial decision to put their kids in chicken pox parties to build up early immunities to the disease, we need to expose these kids to all sorts of internet memes and old stand-up bits as early as we can, to prevent these things from building up unchecked in isolated classrooms on their own. Maybe we can have exchange programs, and send out of a bunch of kids to experience humour from a multitude of locales. So that when they return and someone pulls out a Dane Cook bit for the first time, they can shut it down right off the bat - "Oh yeah, I heard that one already in Chicago. It was funny...when it first came out, faggot." Or we host clinics and assemblies to have professionals just tour schools nationwide to tell as many bad and outdated jokes as they possibly can. Wouldn't that be an interesting job to have?
Doesn't really matter what we do in the end, as long as we do something. Otherwise our children are going to grow up misquoting bits to each other and telling bad jokes, and they will be woefully under prepared for life in high school or university. (Oh and also they might beat up ginger kids? I've kind of forgotten the original purpose of this post by this point.)
Someone needs to do something.
For the kids.
The safety of the people is the highest law.
11/25/2009 02:36:00 AM | Comments (0)
Blah blah blah blah, links.
- Another installment of Between Two Ferns, this time with Conan O'Brien. These have to be the most consistently fantastic clips on the internet right now. Andy Richter is the MVP of this particular bit, the guy just crushes every line he has.
- Don't bother me tonight, I have plans already. Also, if you ever wanted to see how it's like to trip out on acid, check this out. Should be a pretty eventful weekend for me.
- This is a fascinating retelling of a National Geographic photographer journeying to the Antarctic to take pictures of leopard seals, and how one tried to adopt hiim and teach him how to hunt penguins. The pictures are insane. Also the editing of that video, absolutely excellent. I don't know how they managed to make some guy standing against a wall and talking seem so epic and grand, but they pulled it off. I just think it's hilarious how this guy essentially wasted like four days of this leopard seal's valuable time. Humans...the planet's ultimate assholes.
- I'm having a hard time trying to decide which rug amuses me more...handcrafted Raccoon Mario or these ones. No wait, it's this Road Kill carpet.
I wish I had some carpet in my house. I miss it so. When my sex dungeon is finally complete, it will be lined with gloriously thick and lucious carpeting.
Uncle Touchy's naked puzzle basement
You won't wear a shirt and you'll cry
11/20/2009 12:32:00 PM | Comments (0)
You know how sometimes when you get a donut from Tim Hortons and they put it in that thin paper bag? Sometimes if I get a donut with icing on it and I accidentally leave it in there for too long, some of the icing gets stuck to the bag when I rip it out. I do not like that very much.
Also, "donuts" is in Firefox's default spellchecker dictionary but "donut" is not? How is this even possible? Has the whole world gone crazy? Like I get if it recognizes "doughnut" but not "donut"...but then why have "donuts" in there? I do not like that!
Grapes with seeds in them. Man, what a dumb idea. Who invented them? Who was the guy who looked at a grape and was all like "Man, I wish this seedless grape had seeds in it." What an idiot. Am I right? I do not like grapes with seeds in them.
...not being a major league pitcher and being able to throw 98 mph fastballs at Derek Jeter's boyishly handsome face? I guess I don't like not being able to do that very much as well.
I don't know, I didn't really think out this post very well at all before I started it, and now I'm not really sure where to go with it. I wonder if there is any correlation the length of time between new posts and the quality of the first post that immediately follows these periods?
- There is a song on the new Bon Jovi album called Live Before You Die. That...is...AWESOME. I don't think it's a single though, too bad. But God, anthem rock is so great. Which is the bigger surprise? This, or that the new Clipse single is about cocaine?
- Have you ever wondered what a bear looks like with no hair? God knows I have. Though in all seriousness, that is pretty terrifying.
- Are we all watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia yet? Because you guys need to catch up on this new season, it is really clicking along. This 10 second long clip of a cat walking across a table in Kitten Mittens alone is killing me, I can't stop watching it. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities in any of the main characters, there's no overall plot to the episodes, no storylines are ever advanced, you can't relate to any of the characters because they're all so insane, the straight man jumps around in any given scene, and every episode is essentially the same. There's really no conventional reason for you to return week after week, and yet I do. It is the funniest show on television by a wide margin and I can't figure out why.
- I know I posted some Motivational Wolf bits already, but I think there are some new ones scattered among here...? And if not, just enjoy them all again.
- Man, is this commercial fantastic or what?
- Is this adult contemporary superstar Manny Pacquiao fighting a giant crab (among other things) in the trailer of this wacky Filipino movie called Wapakman? ...pretty sure it is, why do I ask myself questions I already know the answer to!?!
Smoke some cigarettes. The smoke will suffocate the bacteria in your stomach.
11/17/2009 12:50:00 AM | Comments (0)
Cons with getting pink eye...
11/09/2009 06:32:00 PM | Comments (0)
It is upon us!
And it's cold, wet, sloppy, and horrible like a dead Thai hooker.
Snow dad's better than no dad!
11/05/2009 11:23:00 PM | Comments (0)
Thought I'd share this oldie with you guys.
"Suck on dis!"
11/05/2009 01:30:00 PM | Comments (0)
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