Ice-T And David Hasselhoff Team Up For Rap Album. 'nuff said.

...well...maybe just one more little bit - "He's gonna come out as Hassle the Hoff".

"Boy if you don't got this, you don't know what MUSIC is!" (...no idea where that line's from.)

5/31/2004 08:38:00 PM | Comments (0)

I want a P-P-P-Powerbook!

5/30/2004 03:48:00 PM | Comments (0)

Thought I'd share a personal story this time - unfortunately it doesn't involve heavy drinking, seizuring girls, or crazy ice queens - but it does feature fruit.

Unlike some of the spoiled little bastards I know, I don't have a computer nor a television in my room. So I really only use my room for sleeping and nothing else. When I got home yesterday, I suddenly noticed for the first time, an orange sitting on my desk that my mommy had apparently left there for me to eat. And since I don't really spend that much time in my room...I hadn't noticed it until that moment. My best estimate at that point, for how long that orange had been sitting there...was anywhere between three days to three weeks. I'm not completely sure, but I think it may have started to grow mold...and I really wasn't in the mood to eat it.

So I did what any rational, normal human being would do. I picked it up, went outside, took a step forward, and - under the cover of relative darkness at 1:00 AM last night - I frickin' GUNNED that sucker Ichiro-style across the street and into my neighbour's backyard. Now clearly, I need not explain to you the obvious logical reasons for doing so, but I will confirm that there is some sort of primal, underlying satisfication within the human mind in the act of throwing rotten fruit. It just felt so RIGHT - like I was validating the existence of the human race in the eyes of the Lord God Almighty.

And oh man...would I give anything in the world to see the look on my neighbour's face when he finds a moldy orange just sitting there in the middle of his backyard. I don't even know the guy - which I feel makes it even more funny.

Yes sir. And so ends a day in the life of Choking Yak. And what a sweet life it is.

5/30/2004 11:46:00 AM | Comments (0)

This is cool.

5/29/2004 12:52:00 AM | Comments (0)

Hahaha yeah - I jacked that cauliflower line straight up. Didn't give credit or anything either. So I'll do it now - here is one of the many transcriptions of the original "bad cybersex" chat logs, where I stole the "cauliflower of love" line from. That in itself is a worthy link - a great read, even if you've seen it before.

And here is a thread in where some poor soul innocently tries to start a roleplaying session...but I hijack the thread with lines from those logs. Hahahaha - "I start of by casting magic missle on the darkness" - I mean...what the frick? This one's a failure, but you can see how it goes when it actually does work. Unforuntately...I can't seem to find the ones I did before that were successful, because I don't remember the names of the threads, I don't know if they've been deleted or not, and Gaia's search function is screwed like my banana. ...but oh well.

Anyway, here's a new link. Nerd Gym - a Flash "book" about how to secretly PUMP *clap clap* YOU UP!!! Some truly horrifying lines of "advice" in there, but chock full of hilarity goodness. The pictures rule.

5/28/2004 10:02:00 AM | Comments (0)

Sleeping On The Couch: Day 4

(soundtrack)
Welcome Back - Mase

I'd just like everyone to know that I'm doing this post shirtless. I thought our female reader(s?) deserved some fan service. *Tssssssss*

Regarding the title, I've started sleeping on the couch in an attempt to improve my sleep schedule. I find it so hard to get out of bed, I'm just too damn comfortable. Now, I don't have that problem because the couch isn't THAT comfortable. More importantly, I can wake up around 10:30, shake off the cobwebs and turn on the T.V. to catch The View at 11:00, all without having to sit up. It's the perfect life!

Went balling today with Max and Jeff. We played with local street legend, "Stretch". Now I know how Devean George, Kareem Rush and Brian Cook feel. He had two sweet dunks, one off a sweet dish by our own Max "Kitchen Sink" Wong. We won 3 straight. It was a good run.

And in the spirit of "Forum Troll" week, I thought I'd get on the Gaia Online bandwagon. I joined about 45 minutes ago and am now trying to delete my character. I didn't get beyond buying a pair of pants and a snowman head. It was a good run.

So since I failed in that endeavour, I thought I'd share this amusing City of Heroes review some guy posted on GameFAQs. If William owned this game, I'd like to think this is the review he would write. The guy has the William Cheng style of jackass-ery down pat.

Oh yeah, and I've also gotten to watching reruns of Just Shoot Me at 2:30 in the morning. You know, that decent sitcom with David Spade. Anyway, there's this episode where Finch (Spade) asks his friend Maya to write a poem for him so that he can pass a college course. Long story short, the poem becomes huge and Finch gets invited to a reading so that he can introduce a new poem. He asks Maya to write another for him and in an attempt to sabotage him, she writes this:

The Ice Pelican
Slap it on the bing bong
Lick it like a ding dong
Nunchuks on the fly
Corny beef on rye
Watch my lizard cry
(pause)
Hitler

And of course, she ends up being the one who reads it.

5/27/2004 07:27:00 PM | Comments (0)

Further proof that we Chinamen are a FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!

Yea, that's all I got folks. You can go back to work now.

5/27/2004 12:17:00 PM | Comments (0)

Wow. This site is still here? ...amazing.

I apologize - I know this place is a mess. I mean...anytime you have Big AL posting twice in a row...you KNOW something's just not right. What a sad place this has become.

Sadder still...is that your alternative is me. But at least it's back to the status quo - the same reliable crap you've learned to love.

So like I said, I took two weeks off to basically just troll around on the Gaia Online forums, which I found off an old SomethingAwful article. And it's been an eye-opening, life-changing experience. For one, I didn't even know that many goths/vampires/furries/homosexuals even EXISTED in the world. Some threads are just disturbing, but some are oh so fun to read. In fact, I'd still be over there right now, but I've decided to take a break. I think I needed to chill out a bit after I crossed the line by calling an 8 year-old girl a "crazy little whore" when she said Batman was "gay." ...I mean...can you really blame me?

I feel like I did some good work over there - some solid trolling. Suprisingly I haven't been banned yet, but I can definately tell you it's not for lack of trying. I wish I could show you some of my finer work, but most of the threads I made or even posted in have been deleted due to..."inappropriate content." Still, there's some nice ones left that I'd thought I'd share with you. Keep in mind that while the board is supposed to be PG-13...there really is no possible way to seriously enforce that, considering the thousands of members the site has.

- The Banana FAQ. Unforunately, I can't take credit for the first post, which I copy and pasted from another forum. I had thought that Gaia would have been a little more open to things like this, considering that some of them like to dress up as cheetahs and hump other guys dressed up as foxes...but I could just not sustain any conversation. Though I did get a couple of PM's from people calling me a "fucking fruit fucker" which - in my opinion - was just plain funny.

- If Jesus was a furry...WHAT ANIMAL WOULD HE BE??? My one-way ticket to hell. And sadly not as entertaining as I thought it would be, because these sick bastards actually tried to seriously answer the question. I wonder how hard my pastor would slap me if I asked him this on Sunday...?

And my personal favourite - Goths vs. Furries. Be careful though - the thread just goes to hell after the first page. No, scratch that - as of the first post it's already gone to hell.

Some other notable threads include...
- My maid is a dirty Mexican - deleted due to "inappropriate content." Go figure.
- I'm a loser baby. So why don't you kill me? - posted some selective Beck lyrics, and it was deleted because apparently encouraging suicide is against the rules.
- What's your favourite Ninja Turtle? - in where I basically called anyone who didn't vote for Raphael a "shitty motherfucking cocksucker bitch pussy face ass fag." Eventually it got deleted after some random people started posting up porn images. ...I still have no idea what happened in there.

But all in all...time well spent.

So I guess I'm back here, and you can at least look forward to semi-regular updates, even if they're completely meaningless and devoid of content. But at least you won't be staring at the same post day after day about AL and his crappy boat.

And the idea of a redesign has also been floating around in my head. It's especially possible now with all this neat software and spare time I have at work. As well, with Jess flaunting her presumptuous, hotshot site tweak, I feel that I've been slapped with a glove. What is this GALL? You DARE tweak your site in my presence? No, that will NOT stand. All that's left really, is to decide on the new colours. Lately I've been a big fan of the orange/purple mix. Or should we just go back to good ol' blue? Though I've always been partial to the classic violet on (whatever the hell this is) scheme as well. ...so many decisions...

5/27/2004 11:37:00 AM | Comments (0)

Light Jab!

One of the best flash games evar.

5/26/2004 10:58:00 PM | Comments (0)

That Certain Something

(soundtrack)
Someone Saved My Life Tonight - Elton John

Whoa...two posts in a row. Is this what it feels like, Will? "Is this...weight...this ceaseless particle movement...is this all?"

As you might expect, I'm posting about the evening of the big cruise. Oooooh!

As usual, I barely knew what was going on until I came back from last night's outing (Hi Jess!) and MSN'd a few people and got the story. So I go down to Keele station and as soon as I get off, I'm shocked at what a ghetto-ass area I'm in. Then I remember that I've actually been here before, because I think my cousin's girlfriend is a manager at several McDonalds in the area. But I digress.

Michelle and Julius pick me up and, lucky me, we have to go and get the Ice Queen too. Sarcastic Yay!!! At this point, I can actually FEEL my skin beginning to boil. Amazing. Especially after Michelle tells me that the jig is up because the two of them have been talking lately and, well, you know how it is when women get to talking. So I decide that tonight I'm going to do some house-cleaning and assure the Ice Queen that it's over and hopefully, we're cool.

Blah blah blah, we get changed, blah blah blah. Oh, actually, before changing there was an amusing incident at a Shopper's Drug Mart. The ladies told us to bugger off while they tried on make-up and whatnot, so Julius and I wandered off and I had my heart rate tested. Does 0 Systolic Pressure and 0 Diastolic Pressure make me legally dead?

Getting to the cruise was an adventure in itself. First we met up with Julius' white friends, Steve and Barbara (does it get any whiter than that? I mean, we're talking picket fences here). Steve made weed-filled brownies, which I politely declined to eat, and about ten minutes after the three of them consumed them, they were already tripping. Except for Julius, who just felt sick. More on this later.

We took the bus down to the Harbour Front and when we saw the boat, it was sort of a WTF Moment. The boat was so freaking small. It didn't look like it could accomodate 10 people, much less about 60. It was weird. I don't know, maybe it was like Alana Burke's house (Max knows what I'm talking about) or something. Anyway, we get there, but the ladies haven't arrived yet, which sucks for everyone. For me, because the Ice Queen has my ticket (even when she's not around I get screwed!) and for the rest of the guys because geez, we don't want a sausage party. Especially a sausage party at sea. Bonus points: It's raining like a ma'fucka. By the time the girls get here, we're all running towards the boat as the boarding crew is actually removing the steps from the dock, forcing them to put them back for us. So embarrassing.

We made it on, soaked, but safe. Our relief was short lived as, due to the rain, they crammed us into the hold (correct terminology) of the ship, which unfortunately, was predictably small. I felt like a slave on the Amistad. We sat around for about an hour before the food came, making awkward conversation as best we could. I should note that David, my former rival-turned-pal after tonight, joined me in my uncomfortable silence as everyone else was lost in merriment. He and I have a lot more in common than I thought. I've already invited him to come chill out with us. Don't be afraid.

Here's where things start to get interesting. At this point, Julius is fuckin' trippin'. I mean, he is gone. It's like watching a movie, you know? He's exhibiting all the stereotypes of someone who is high out of their minds. The technical term would be: Trippin' Balls. This was a result of 1) The drugs finally kicking in obviously and 2) His friend, Chris, tricking him into drinking from a water bottle that was actually filled with vodka. This knowing that Julius was trying to abstain from drinking for the summer. Good friend. More on this later.

Brief dinner story: After getting the meal, which was extremely difficult considering the cramped quarters, I returned to find that my seat had been taken. Up until now, the group (about 18 people) had been divided among two tables and suddenly I was forced to switch to the other table. I'm sitting between these two girls who I have no clue of who they are, except that they're friends with a friend of a friend or something. And I realize one thing: There is nothing I can do right now that won't make me look like an idiot. End of story.

Now the night starts resembling an episode of The O.C. I, after finishing my dinner as quickly as humanly possible, head up to the deck by myself(without telling anyone, natch) and find a nice spot to watch the world go by. Suddenly, David shows up and we start having a serious talk about life and girls and all that. And I confront him about his feelings for Michelle, even though I know how she feels about him and I think that Julius also likes her so I really shouldn't be interfering. I tell him that he should go for it (this is under the impression I had that she also liked him...perhaps I'm wrong though...). Anyway, he tells me about this incident between him and her that SHE didn't tell me about so I go down and whisper in her ear (while she's in the middle of a conversation, natch) "Why didn't you tell me about that?" and then I give her a walk-off. Ho! Then I went up and handled my business with Tanya, which went something like this:

Me: Listen, I'm just doing some house-cleaning and, uh, I know you've been hearing some stories about me.
Tanya: Yeah.
Me: And you.
Tanya: Yeah.
Me: Well, I just want you to know that that's over with, you know? Like, I just don't want you to think that there's something going on and I'm not telling you about it.
Tanya: Okay.
Me: So we're cool?
Tanya: Yeah.
Me: Great, great. Just making sure.

Dramatic, eh?

Then I got into a fight with some rich pretty boy...oh wait, this isn't actually an episode of The O.C. Heh heh, sorry. No, what actually happened was that I found Julius about to puke his guts out over the side of the boat. He was coming down HARD. Again, it was just like a movie. So another friend of his, Lorelai, and I took care of him for the rest of the cruise. We sat him down on a bench and watched him mutter and look really depressed. The only slow song of the night came on and I spent it with my hand on another guy's shoulder. Nice.

Shit this is getting long. I'll tell you about the rest of it later, I guess (I know, it's like, "There's more?") But to wrap this up, when the cruise ended, it took us about half an hour for all of us to get off and figure out where everyone was going. I told Michelle that she should let Julius crash at her place, which unfortunately put an end to her evening, but she knew I was right (I hope!). Lesley Ann (the girl w/bf that I met on the first cruise way back during Frosh Week), Lorelai and Tanya were also staying over and when Michelle asked if I wanted to stay too I...said no. I also wanted to stay so that when Julius woke up in the morning I could tell him exactly what had happened. So even with the incentive of 4 beautiful women and one smoked friend, I decided it was best to go home. I can't even begin to explain it.

As usual, an exciting day ended with me riding public transit alone.

Fitting.

A side note: My 50th post! Boom shaka-laka!

5/23/2004 02:27:00 AM | Comments (0)

The End Of An Era

(soundtrack)
All By Myself - LaToya London

My barber, Nellie, has retired.

God, I'm depressed.

I think everyone knows that I like to live a life of routines. A life of constants. Yeah, I enjoy the occasional bit of variety, but at the end of the day I like to think that there are some things I can count on. Like who cuts my hair.

Before Nellie, I was going to this woman's house for private hair cutting sessions. She was a freaking butcher. I left every encounter with welts, I shit you not. Luckily she ended up moving away, into a bigger house no less, that was ironically funded by her victims. But that's another story.

Nellie was great. And over the last couple of years, I'd finally earned the right to walk in there and say, "The usual." Her hair cutting touch was so soft, so perfect. She even engaged in awkward small talk. She'd ask how school was and how things were going. Those are the little things that I'll miss. As a bonus, she usually let me cut ahead of other people who were there before me. Sweet.

The guy who cut my hair today, Mr. Lam, wasn't too bad. He doesn't speak English. He's kind of stiff. He didn't cut my hair quite short enough. *sigh*

I think Nellie has earned herself a flashback montage:

*doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo...*
(insert wavy, screen distorting effect)

5 years ago - My first hair cut

4 years ago - The hair cutting continues

3 years ago - Uh...see previous years

2 years ago - The usual...THE USUAL!!!

1 year ago - You get the idea

*doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo...*
(insert wavy, screen distorting effect)

Oh, good times. I always had this fantasy that I'd become rich and pay her back by coming back to the old neighbourhood to get my hair cut and leaving her 50 dollar tips. Guess that's not going to happen.

On an unrelated note, my outing with the UofT people went well, very well in fact. I'll tell you guys about it later. I'll just say that it included this amusing exchange:

(as we follow Michelle into a Yoga store)
Me: Oh, Michelle does Yoga?
Julius: (straight-faced) No, she just likes the clothing.

*Ba-Dump Tsh!*



"What's the deal with homework? You're not working on your home!"
"Booooo!"

5/20/2004 03:49:00 PM | Comments (0)

Blah blah, Great Robot Uprising of 2004, blah blah.

5/19/2004 01:55:00 AM | Comments (0)

I've Already Got My Wednesday Pants Ready

(soundtrack)
Bitch Please - Eminem et al.

- After waking up to the above song, I realized how much I need a friend named Mitch. That way, everytime he said something stupid, I could say "Mitch please, you must have a mental disease." Or I could just continue calling my friends bitches.

- So, for those of you who haven't seen the long Around The World In 80 Days Trailer, I just have to say that I remembered why I really want to see this movie. Look for a California cameo about 3/4 into the trailer. Two action icons, together at last! And I also want to say that this movie looks like a complete clusterfuck. Looks like Mr. Chan's (and Mr. Woo's and Mr. Li's for that matter) American films will continue to be sub-par.

- I was barely able to get out of bed this morning, even with the prospect that I might be hanging out with some friends downtown later. It was then that I found the perfect word to describe my university mates: Exhausting.

- Has there ever been a more truthful and honest line than when Adam Duritz wrote "Well I woke up in mid-afternoon, cause' that's when it all hurts the most"? I mean, that pretty much sums it all up doesn't it? And is Mrs. Potter's Lullaby not one of the most underrated songs ever? And is there any chance that it's about Joey from Dawson's Creek? And what's Katie Holmes doing right now anyway? I want answers DAMN IT!!!

- I keep thinking there was a reason that I was posting. Hmm...

- Remember kids, Let's Fighting Love (click for a really weird translation)

5/18/2004 12:27:00 PM | Comments (0)

I have to apologize - I've been posting at forums again. It all started last Friday, when I sent the entire day with nothing to do in front of an internet-capable machine. I've fallen off the wagon.

In particular, the Gaia Online forums have consumed my soul. I have to admit that I've taken to trolling around there, and it's a guilty pleasure of mine. Forgive me, please.

You probably will never see me post again, unless (until) I get banned.

5/16/2004 11:18:00 PM | Comments (0)

Oh. My. God. Lakers.

AND A HAPPY BIRFDAY TO MY MAIN MAN RABID EMU.
[insert in da club beat here]

5/13/2004 11:05:00 PM | Comments (0)

So damn busy...and it's supposed to be the summer, too. WAT'S UP WIT DAT!?! I should have been in bed like an hour ago.

Quick post and then I'm gone. A funnay this time.

Do you know what's a pain in the ass?

5/12/2004 11:49:00 PM | Comments (0)

Here's a neat little video of a spontaneous dust devil terrorizing some Japanese kids at a soccer game. Not much, but I don't have anything else to post, so that's all you get.

My favourite part is the coach. Yeah, like ducking's going to do you any good if it was a real tornado or something. Can't say I blame him though - I guess ducking is the standard response in any Godzilla/natural disaster related incident in Japan. And it's always possible that he wasn't actually telling the kids to duck - but in fact, to do a crouching block, and thus turtle the tornado, eat the chip damage, and let time expire. Which - if my days playing against Storm users in MvC2 has taught me anything - does indeed work, and is very commendable for applying video game skills in real life situations.

5/10/2004 08:50:00 PM | Comments (0)

What the F!?! Another Blogger redesign? ...I gotta reorient myself all over again - this is going to put a serious cramp in my blogging style.

Anyway - fairly straight forward linking today.

1) For your reference, badgers, yet again.

2) badgerphone/bananaphone

3) What I've done to you.

And my work here is done.

5/09/2004 10:44:00 PM | Comments (0)

The Week In Review

(soundtrack)
Heart Of The City - Jay Z

Monday
Monday was great. It started off with Will and I going to school to finish our last exam: NARRATIVE!!!

When we got there, Professor Lucas hadn't even showed up yet. I remarked, "Man, you know how she kept sending us e-mails changing the location of the exam? I bet cash money that she's going to change it again when she gets here." This woman's behaviour is like clockwork. She shows up, frazzled as usual and recovering from whatever affliction it is that she was suffering from last week. When another vict...er, classmate asks what's going on, I say, "Classic Lucas". The exam itself wasn't too hard, though harder than we expected it to be, I think. Whatever, I'm finished, that's what's important.

After that I went to the mall with Safina, another friend from Psych. We barely know each other, but I was bored as shit so I decided that I'd let her try and hook me up down at the mall. Unfortunately, we seem to have caught the skank shift. Lots of girls ranging from ugly to slightly better than mediocre. Disappointing.

Safina herself was nice. I dutifully served the role of boyfriend. She tried stuff on and took half an hour to decide on two black purses that looked almost the same. I had to keep my mouth shut on that one. Besides, she gets huge points for guessing that the CD I came to purchase was Ghostface Killah's The Pretty Toney Album. That was tight. Just to provide some reference, The Ice Queen failed the same test earlier in the year. And she didn't even try, which really hurt.

The outing inevitably ended with Safina saying, "You know, if I didn't have a boyfriend and was actively searching for one, I'd definitely consider you" or something to that effect. Gee, thanks. Two things:

1) That can easily be read as: "You're a nice guy, but I pity whoever ends up with your lame ass."

2) That statement is right up there with, "Let's just be friends."

No, no, I'm kidding. It was a nice thing for her to say and I genuinely appreciated it. But men...you know where I'm coming from.

Tuesday
Hmm...don't remember.

Wednesday
Went down to school to visit Mr. Mitchell and Jess. Ran into Ms. Webb too. The whole thing was kind of awkward, because I haven't grown at all so I really had nothing to talk about. It was nice to see my old mentors, but other than that I still don't feel like I deserve to come back yet. The next time I visit, I want it to be because I have a reason for them to be proud of me. They deserve that much.

Oh yeah and Max came over. We played video games all day and into the next.

Thursday - Present
City Of Heroes...City Of Heroes...City Of Heroes...

Screenshots!

Action Shot - Notice that I'm clearly missing here. I do that a lot.

Run, Fatass, Run! - Self-explanatory.

Standing Under The Crotch Of A Giant - At first I thought that this was a really cool shot, but upon further inspection...let's just move on.

I'm Ready For My Close-Up - Chicks dig the big "M".

Just Open It - "Where I'm from? A little town called 'None of your God-damn business'. Let's play some dice bitches."

Me And A Couple Of Other Members Of Omega Flight - Sorry about the darkness of this picture. Anyway, here's me and some people from my bro's supergroup. On my left is my friend Lloyd, aka China White. On my right, my cousin Derek, aka Icesnap. In the centre, yours truly, Maxwell Damage.

Enjoy!

5/08/2004 04:41:00 PM | Comments (0)

Forgive me - I haven't even touched the computer in the last two days. Time for a post. Got some videos for you.

- Black People Hate Me And They Hate My Glasses. For a title like that, it's surprisingly unfunny. But I like the whole storytelling feeling of it.

- Tyson, the Skateboarding Bulldog. It's a bulldog. It skateboards. Oh, and it's name is Tyson.

- A Tetra Vaal commercial. Yeah, I've never heard of them either. But our new robotic overlords have arrived! I bow and submit to their strong and efficent mechanical rule!

- And lastly...Cat With Hands. Now I warn you - this one here is pretty fuckin' creepy. I mean...the title alone is already kinda scary. It's a cat...with hands. I'll be honest, I'm afraid of a lot of random things - clowns, roller coasters, that shadow the door makes with the wall, windchimes, corn fields, girls, sunshine, drinking water, my own reflection...but not cats. Well that is...until now. And if you're already not a big fan of cats (like Sheep)...then...well...maybe it's for the better to just skip this one. Gotta admit though - the ending's pretty clever if you think about it for a second.

Oh, and I don't know what's up with the tagboard. We'll just have to use the comment system to hurl homosexual insults at each other for now.

5/08/2004 02:21:00 PM | Comments (0)

I'm still having too much fun with that site I posted a while back. There's actually a ton of good stuff there.

For example, behold the power of Bauer. Good Lord, that man is terrifying.

And this one's so good too! It's GENIUS! Office Space RULED!!! The N-Gage SUCKED!!! I get it!

However - with the exception of my own baby - The Picard Song is still the runaway favourite.

Which brings us to the real purpose of this post. Listen to me carefully - STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW AND GO DOWNLOAD THE FULL SONG. GO GO GO!!! (The Picard Song, obviously - the other two kinda suck.)

This is the greatest song I have ever heard in my ENTIRE LIFE. It's definately going to be on the next edition of Choking Yak's Ridealong CD™. Between this and that Fraiser episode I saw yesterday with him as a gay opera guy, Professor X has really established himself as a top notch The WAMBAG-approved thespian, in my book. ...I don't even remember his real name, it's just either Professor X or "CAPTIAN...JEAN-LUC PICARD OF THE U-S-S...ENTERPRISE. M-M-MA-MAKE IT SO."

God, that song is so good.

5/05/2004 11:54:00 PM | Comments (0)

I just heard the greatest joke of all time.

What's red and looks like a bucket?

AND ONE MORE!!! What's worse than a half eaten sandwich?

...aaaaand fini, exit stage left.

5/03/2004 10:17:00 PM | Comments (0)

Holy Fuck I Can't Study

(soundtrack)
Go To Sleep - Eminem, DMX and Obie Trice

Eherousllvlsuouax...

*huh, wha*

Oh, sorry. Just getting delirious from all of my NOT STUDYING!!!

Saturday Night Live was pretty good with Lindsay Lohan and Usher and I just wanted to post this skit:

Debbie Downer

You'll see why it's so funny.

Also, I recently began playing City Of Heroes. Hopefully I'll be able to post screenshots of my character, Maxwell Damage. And yes, the name is intentionally cheesy.

The game kicks total ass and as with any MMORPG, you can have a lot of fun with the emote actions. Like, there's this one where you can make your guy start throwing dice. So my cousin and I are in this group with this stranger and I throw some dice and then this conversation ensues:

Me: (after throwing dice) Sevem! (which is funny because you only throw one die, so it's impossible)
Cousin: Hot hand at the dice today!
Me: Ashy Larry. Marcy Projects, Marcy son, what?
Cousin: Ha ha ha ha.
Stranger: ?

You can also play rock, paper, scissors with other players. I beat this guy (paper over rock, biatches) and my cousin was like, "delicious".

These stories would be a lot funnier if you were all as F'd up as I am right now. Got an exam in a few hours, holla at ya boy.

Take care, Snake. May the next time we meet be under more felicitous circumstances.
Guh?
Take care.
Buh.

5/03/2004 04:55:00 AM | Comments (0)

I'm sorry, I've been wasting all of my time on this Orisinal game. It's so simple...yet I can't stop. My best is 6.64, but I usually need like a dozen 10 second rounds to really warm up. All the skills necessary for this game I learned back in my CounterStrike days - just imagine you've been circle strafing some terrorist scum, your primary runs out, and you whip out the USP to unload into their heads. It's exactly the same.

Maybe a real post sometime with a real non-game link to follow later. ...but probably not.

5/02/2004 11:25:00 PM | Comments (0)

Some tests for you.

First one is to test whether or not you're gay. I laughed at that picture of those two guys hugging for like five minutes when I first saw it. ...I don't know why.

Then, you can test out your essential life skill of being able to tell between females and shemales. And when you're done with that and wanting more, there's two more of them. I must make this clear - it is disturbing stuff. I scored 13/16, 9/16, and 11/16 on them respectively.

...overall, a very vicious beating given to my heterosexuality today. I think I'm going to throw up and poke out my eyes with sharp wooden twigs now.

5/01/2004 05:08:00 PM | Comments (0)