Just wanted to quickly post this funny. Not the best I've seen, but the particular payoff for this one is just too good.

And this - where's Halladay? Sure, he's not having THAT great of a season so far, but he's won 40+ games over the last two seasons! I mean...Ben Sheets? Nah, fate of the free world? I'd give the ball to the Doc.

...but if it was for a date with Keira Knightley...then yeah, I wouldn't screw around - gimme Randy Johnson.

6/30/2004 03:51:00 PM | Comments (0)

I think it's time to weigh in on this whole confessions and group hugs and other warm fuzzy crap. My sister got the first season of Gilmore Girls on DVD, and I finished the first season with her in two marathon sessions. Because... I like it. I know, it's sick. If there was any doubt as to whether I was devoid of testoterone, there is no doubt now. Gilmore Girls is like a Dementor, except that instead of sucking out someone's life-essence, they suck out testosterone. And you get that wacky blurred image effect on your face. And you LIKE IT. God I hate myself.

In other news, I sent a fan letter to Keira Knightley a while ago with my favourite pirate-loving wookie, and I'm leaving in a few days to hunt her down in Europe and demand a response. A little bit of "bitch, where's my autograph?" Although, it'll more likely come out as "I you fan best you so pirates airbrushed cleavage dyslexia." Wish me luck. And remember folks - if she gets a restraining order because of me, then I'll probably be given paper work that she's already signed. Autograph? I do think so. Mission accomplished.

6/29/2004 06:18:00 PM | Comments (0)

I have found ultimate hilarity. And expectably so - I have found it in the forums.

I'm talking about the Shaq Fu forums over at GAmeFAQs.com. Just imagine a Van Helsing forum full of people like me, and you pretty much have it.

It's brilliance. They've created some sort of religious cult to pay respect to the Church of Diesel known as the SFA (Shaq Fu Alliance?), where Kobe is their devil. Any haters that come to speak badly of the game are labelled fools and racists because - seriously - why would you hate on this game?

I particularly enjoyed the Shaq Fu vs. Street Fighter II thread (all ten pages of it), and the Shaq-Fu got stolen from K-Mart one, wherein someone replies "I don't know... that's sort of like saying it's wrong to steal bread to feed your starving family." So true.

Now the confession referenced in that last thread is here, from grouphug.us - a site for "anonymous online confessions." Which is also an interesting site to check out if you have six hours to kill (not unlike me!). However, I warn you...the site is sometimes a little bit disturbing. And just overall disturbingly addictive - much like bash.org. Also, for some reason - almost all of these have to do with sex. What is wrong with today's society? ...but still, I spent like an hour last night going through these randomly...and to tell the truth - I feel a lot better about myself now.

Some highlights (I'll make 'em all open in the same new window so you don't need to keep closing them!):

006169613 - ...heh
790225836
335810292
229246871 - hahaha "deep fried advances"
705945126
334186059
551132222 - HOLD THAT SHIT DOWN NIGGA
513199615
182264665 - bwahahaha - Brother Bear?
143901019
102931368 - "glory was mine!!!"
309281518
943649786
110259185 - lol, what fuck?
726618376
369324469 - it's trying to tell you to stop reading Preacher

...goddamn, didn't realize I had so many. Just be careful if you ever browse by yourself - some of the stuff is pretty out there. And it actually gets kinda depressing after a while. But at least I'M not that screwed up!

(Oh, and if anyone's still looking for summer employment, the company I work at has an opening for an administrative data entry job. The building might be a bit far, at Eglinton and Don Mills. But hey - you get to hang out with The Yak everyday for lunch. Drop me a line if you know someone who's interested. This offer is for a limited time only.)

6/29/2004 10:50:00 AM | Comments (0)

Walking (So Much Walking) In A Summer Wonderland OR Goodbye And Thanks I Smell Like Fish

(soundtrack)
Charmless Man - Blur

I ain't got too much to say about my trip to Wonderland. It was a'ight. I just wish my university friends weren't such an indecisive group of hob knobbers. Of our first 5 hours there, I swear we spent an hour and a half waiting in line and another three hours arguing about which fucking ride we should line up for next. There couldn't have been more than thirty minutes of actual ride time. At one point, we must have been arguing for about 45 minutes and I was just like, "Ok, fuck you guys, we're going to watch the Spongebob Squarepants 3D adventure! You can argue while we're lining up!" That ruled by the way.

The trip was made even more unpleasant by this guy, Chris. He pulled the ol' "vodka in a water bottle" trick again and was acting like a complete jackass for the entire day. It was sad too, because I was sitting next to him while he was driving and we were talking about music and stuff and I thought, "Finally, I'm getting along with the friends of my friends," you know? As soon as he gets drunk, he's just another asshole. I don't hate the guy, but man, get a fucking life and learn to have a personality without alcohol alright?

The one bright spot, besides the fact that David and Michelle were there, was David's little buddy, Andy. Andy is this 14 year old kid who has just finished elementary and is about to embark on the wonderful journey that is high school. So innocent and impressionable. Once I learned that he was a basketball fan and that his favourite player is Vince Carter (ah, youth), I knew we'd be off to a great start. I took him under my wing (read: we were ride buddies) for the rest of the day so that David could chill with everyone else. I regaled him with my tragedies and triumphs and gave him all kinds of life advice:

"When something is hard, you quit." (classic)
"Don't be like Chris."
"When a girl tells you something once and you don't understand, it's okay to tell her. If after she repeats herself, you still don't understand, nod your head and say something like 'Yeah, okay' or 'Sure'."

He didn't really need that last one as he was a bit of a player! He's all like, "Ah, I don't really care about girls," but everytime one of his lady friends from school saw him (they were on a field trip or something), they ran up to him and chatted away. Little bugga. The best part of the day was when Andy, David, David's sister and I ditched the rest of the gang and just went out to go on as many rides as we could. We went on the Dragon Fire 3 times within 10 minutes. I broke out my screaming voice (simma-simma-HAAAAAAAAAAA!) even though I've been on the ride too many times to count.

All things considered, it was a nice day. It wasn't amazing, though, and that's what I was hoping for. I really wanted it to act as a bookend with last Saturday, when I got my job. I guess things just don't work out like TV.

Work was okay today. I got to sell fish. Within the first 15 minutes, I was already screwing up BAD. However, I settled down and it turned out to be a pretty fun job. When I took my break, I went outside behind this restaurant, stole a chair and found some shade to sit it. You know, that kind of shade where the tree is letting just enough sunlight through so that you're body is like, the perfect temperature. When I got back, the guy who took my job told me to take a longer break. So I went up to the lunchroom and joined my comrades who were enjoying a TV dinner. The entire grocery section was on break, it was ridiculous. Good times.

One other note about work. All the cashiers are chicks. They're not bad looking, but I'm afraid to approach them for some reason. I keep thinking, "She's a cashier, I'm a stockboy. We're from different worlds."

Ok, enough of my rambling. Here's a link to something I read about in the Toronto Star. It's about a German Super Baby. I'm not sure I feel comfortable talking about this right now. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.



Homer: Lisa, did you see the Grammys?
Lisa: You beat Dexy's Midnight Runners.
Homer: Well, you haven't heard the last of them.

6/27/2004 08:29:00 PM | Comments (0)

Jess has been kicking my ass lately at both the quality and quantity of her links. So I figured...why not just steal one of her links to keep this site alive until I can scrap together a real post?

Besides, I would have linked it myself if she hadn't first (I swear!). Anyway...good stuff - has a definate my new fighting technique is unstoppable feel to it. Which is always good.

6/27/2004 12:53:00 AM | Comments (0)

Nothing much - just an obligatory post to keep this site alive. A damn fine link though.

"No one steals from God." ...bitch. A Steven Seagal movie by next summer - BOOK IT.

Oh, and...Rafael Araujo. Damn. Just...damn it. Ah well - least I still got the Jays! ...wait, what? Ah, fiddlesticks.

6/24/2004 10:22:00 PM | Comments (0)

Gettin' Reprieve From The Heat In The Frozen Food Section

(soundtrack)
The Weight - The Band

Regarding this week's soundtrack, I thought for years that the main line in the chorus was this:

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free

But it's actually:

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free

This changes everything.

So it was my second day of work today (Food Basics, 14th and Markham for anyone who doesn't know) and it was a lot easier than the first day. Monday I had to remove all this stuff from the frozen food section so that they could check for a leak, then put it all back. Whoopee! Today, I was still in frozen food, but at least now I was handling bags of milk and ice cream so it was a lot easier. My back felt soooo much better today. Some random notes:

* Haven't really befriended any of my coworkers yet. Of course, all us Chinese guys help each other out but we haven't gotten to the point of small talk yet. No one is laughing at my toilet cleaning jokes. Fuckers.

* There's this one white guy who I thought was a decent fellow. I didn't talk to him at all, but I liked the cut of his gib. I thought he would make a perfect addition to my entourage of Caucasian Bullet Shields (hi Lee, Dan and Tom!), but then I saw him in his regular clothes as he was leaving. Total whigger.

* It's really lax around there. They tell you to do something and then they just leave you to it. I could slack off for half an hour and no one would ever know. Not that I would. I'm just saying.

* No hot chicks yet. Co-worker or customer.

Oh yeah, I spent yesterday with Natasha. We watched The Terminal. It was pretty good. It was distracting watching it with her because she talks a lot (ugh) and she's super affectionate (nice). Then she drove me home and I played guitar for her for an hour. I screwed up, like, every song but she thinks I'm amazing. Ha ha, I sure am.

One last thing. Since I had to use my adjustable knife (they gave me a freakin' knife!) a lot today, this line kept popping into my head:

"The frost. Sometimes it makes the blade stick."

6/23/2004 06:12:00 PM | Comments (0)

Some bits of news, listed in order of WTF!?!-magnitude.

C-3PO and others inducted into the Robot Hall of Fame.
WTF!?!-magnitude: 0.5/5

Scientists determine that ducks have accents. "Hmm...should this grant money go towards curing cancer...or...studying duck linguistics?"
WTF!?!-magnitude: 2/5

Inmates reach 5-5 tie with team of soccer playing elephants.
WTF!?!-magnitude: 2.5/5

Japanese student forced to write apology in blood. And the 17 year-old kid actually did it?
WTF!?!-magnitude: 3/5

Marvel launches...Spider-Man India?
WTF!?!-magnitude: 5/5

6/22/2004 12:17:00 PM | Comments (0)

I would like to take this time to apologize for my actions of late.

Lee - I'm sorry for sneaking off and leaving you in the company of those two dirty chinks. And effectively forcing you to drive them home. I don't even think you noticed me leaving.

Jess - I'm sorry for sneaking off and leaving you in the company of a white person with only AL to stand between you two. It's terrifying, I know. I also know that I promised you a ride home...but obviously, I was lying. As usual.

AL - I'm sorry I left your Preacher trade at home. ...well...actually, no, I'm not. So...no apology.

Mr. verypissedoff - I'm sorry we here at The WAMBAG could not meet your high expectations of entertaining website content. I swear upon my family's name that you will be avenged, and Flaming Sheep will be disciplined for writing such an blatantly false article well over a year ago. Furthermore, each article from now on will be so excellent that it will cause your laughter glands to overwork themselves and swell up such that you will require life saving emergency surgery to amputate the organs and leave you unable to laugh ever again except through the assistance of prosthetic laugh machines connected to your body intravenously that continuously hum like this - "HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM".

Jessica Alba - I'm sorry you discovered me lurking outside the window of your bedroom. I hope the chloroform has worn off!

6/20/2004 10:43:00 PM | Comments (0)

Second post in one day? IS THERE NO JUSTICE?!

Well, it's Star Wars related, so I guess it doesn't count as a real WAMBAG post to anyone but the most hardcore and blind fanboys (prequels? What prequels?).

I present to you the Star Wars Episode III trailer... in LEGO form. Hey, LEGO seems to be a WAMBAG approved toy of choice, so I guess it all worked out in the end.

So really kids, the moral of the story is: if you act like Keith Richards on opium, then maybe a little piracy won't hurt the Caribbean.

PS. Oh yea, thank PY for this one. He sent it to me on MSN, and I literally seizured for 15 minutes... even during receiving the transfer, before actually watching the thing. It's that good.

6/19/2004 12:44:00 AM | Comments (0)

Time to waste? Go here to see an interesting pc game's website. No, it's not a web game, just the site for a game on the web. But hey, interacting with the "menu" is almost a game in itself. And go chat it up with the bar wench a few times.

6/18/2004 09:41:00 PM | Comments (0)

I remembered that I posted a "Poke The Rabbit" link way back, included in one of the very first posts for The WAMBAG. I was a personal favourite of mine, and I remember many lazy afternoons I spent as a child poking the holy hell out of that rabbit. But I found out recently that the link is now dead. And the rabbit poking forever lost. And to me, it doesn't just seem like the rabbit's gone - but it's like a whole part of me was lost to that broken link as well. The broken link...of my heart.

...

So anyway, I have found a new replacement. Join me - fellow WAMBAGGERS, WAMBAGEES, and WAMBAGITES (sort them out yourself) - as we poke the pengiun.

And when that gets old (at approximately thirty seconds), it's time to find Waldo...TEXT-BASED BABIEEE. Pretty frickin' hard if you ask me.

I've also been thinking about a site "tweak" lately, because a "redesign" requires far too much effort. So it'd be more of a The WAMBAG 2.1 deal rather than The WAMBAG 3.0. We'll pack in an extra feature or two, polish off some old sprites to add as new characters, change the lighting effects a bit, add a new menu screen, and sell it as a brand new package. Just like Capcom does. Here's some random thoughts pertaining to this that have been floating around in my head.

- Purchase a domain and move addresses. I've narrowed it down to either www.vanhelsingfuckingrules.com or www.iwillfightyouthatsnolie.com.

- Redesign our mascot as an entity of pure lens flare. Because you can never have enough lens flare.

- Getting around to finishing the "BAGGERS" section of the site. (very low possibility)

- Adding cool new colour schemes using the magic of Casscading Style Sheets.

- Less bizarre fetish pornography. ...or more. I haven't decided.

- Little avatars.

- Maybe a LINKS section.

- Cleaning up the coding so it isn't a huge mess of tables within tables within tables.

- And more neat hidden stuff like the Banner Dude Rotator Buttons I have tucked away to the left of this post in that big black area. (Who knew about that!?!)

Keep in mind that there is absolutely zero possibility that I will actually get around to doing these.

And now it is time for Dodgeball.

6/18/2004 05:43:00 PM | Comments (0)

Sleeping On The Couch: Day 25

(soundtrack)
Rain - Yoko Kanno and Seatbelts

It's going to rain tomorrow. Probably won't go downtown to feed the birds. Shoot.

Eh, I'm just posting to get a couple of links out there:

* This one is for Max. Damn, that's hateful.

* I also wanted to post this Anchorman music video before Will got the chance. Don't ask me if the guys are actually singing, because I'm not sure. Oh, by the way, this song kicks ass.

6/17/2004 12:21:00 AM | Comments (0)

Where would we be without crazy Japanese people? They've provided us with so much - too many classic video game legends to list, cheap import sedans, MXC, countless volumes of disturbing space monster hentai, The WAMBUKI - civilization as we know if would not exist without these timeless contributions.

Case in point - giant monster fighting robots. Can you honestly imagine your life without them? I know I can't. Which is why I found this link to be so interesting. The very first Japanese show to feature giant monsters and giant robots that came from the sky to kick their giant asses...was apparently a live action Spider-Man show. Bizarre. The robot doesn't even look like Spider-Man - but those crazy Japanese producers decided to throw one in there anyway. I mean - it's frickin' Spider-Man already! What does he need a giant robot for? And you have to check out the theme song - just too good.

Further more, here's some hidden camera footage exposing a world wide Japanese conspiracy. I knew it! I bet the Chinese are in on it too - I wish they'd all just DIE.

6/15/2004 04:35:00 PM | Comments (0)

Here's a little treat for our new, controversial, broom-moustached, Ark-stealing commenter.

6/15/2004 12:32:00 AM | Comments (0)

Sunday Night Fever

(soundtrack)
Tonight - Da Band

Sunday

Yesterday was a good day, though I will say it was kinda sucky because I didn't get to hang out with Annia like I had hoped. She had an unfortunate Dragon Boat related incident, which then led to an unfortunate "her going out to see Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban with her Dragon Boat team" incident. Regardless, our plans didn't work out.

So instead I took a five hour nap. And man, it was fuckin'...sweet.

Ooh ooh, I also found some time to give a good listen to the Billy Talent CD. It's such a good album. I love track 5, Lies, it's excellent. The best (read: only) Canadian CD I've listened to in a while.

After taking my nap and listening to Billy Talent, I went out with my cousin Derek, my friend Cesar and some of Derek's other friends. We were looking for a bar to watch the Lakers-Pistons game. First we went to Dave and Buster's, a place I'd been thrown out of about two years ago with Kristin, Mikey and Sarah (we ended up watching Crazy/Beautiful, so I think everything turned out okay...). It's weird. Not only am I an immature 19 year old, but I've only had proper ID for a few months so I still feel like I should be getting tossed. Ironically, we did end up having to leave, but not because of me. Cesar had lost his wallet earlier that day and he had no ID. Ouch. Even worse, the waitress was pretty ugly so he couldn't muster up the strength to try and flirt his way out of the situation. She was a definite Two-Bagger. He was later quoted as saying, "That chick was making my penis soft." He's a classy guy.

So instead we went to this sports bar called "Heroes". The guy working there didn't ask for ID from the older guys because he was a bit of a Homer Sexual and he looked like he was trying to pick up Cesar. You think I'm joking, don't you? I got checked though and there was a definite sense of satisfaction when I realized that I could actually legally enter this establishment.

On one TV they were showing the game and on another they were showing a wrestling pay-per-view, so I was pretty much in heaven. The night got even better when the Pistons BEAT the Lakers. Bonus points: Karl Malone got hurt. Boo-yah! At one point, I was so happy that the Pistons were winning that I told Cesar I would high-five one of the other patrons who was cheering for the Pistons if the Pistons won. This motion was vetoed when Cesar threatened to disown me.

After the game was over, we just sat in the bar and talked/argued about basketball for about an hour and a half. I felt like such a man's man! Let's just leave out the fact that everytime I took a sip (yes, a sip) of beer I looked like I was going to start crying. Beer = shit.

At around 1:30 in the morning we ran out of topics and Derek ran out of jokes to make about Cesar's ex-girlfriend, so we decided to call it a night.

The End

Monday

Nothing to do, so let's just say there was a lot of this:

HOLD THAT SHIT DOWN NIGGA. SHOOT THAT SHIT NIGGA.

The End

Now, a few links:

* There was this hilarious comedian on Conan the other night, Demetri Martin. Click on the link for his Comedy Central web page. It's got a lot of weird stuff on it, some of it really funny and some of it really not. Plus, the format is kind of messy though I guess that's not his fault. Gary, I recommend clicking on the Art section and checking out his Palindrome Photographs. Remember where you heard about this guy first!

* If you're ever in need of a No-Heat Hair Removal Gel product, I can only recommend this. Am I the only one who didn't know this company existed? The funniest name for a company since I was in Peru and saw the Sunass building. Of course, that trip never happened so let's forget I mentioned that.

And now, an excerpt from The Simpsons:

Lisa checks out Burns' comprehensive collection of Nancy Drew books. He even has the controversial "Clue in the Clock." She picks the book off the shelf and flips through it. "So many swears," Lisa muses to herself.

6/14/2004 05:08:00 PM | Comments (0)

So I'm leaving for Boston in...a couple of minutes. Some sort of...cousin or uncle or...blood relative is having a wedding. So hey - free food, ya know? The entire Yak-contingent based in Toronto is forming a convoy to get down there. But I'd thought I'd squeeze in a post before I go. ...unfortunately, I have nothing to talk about. So I'll just write the next two words that pop into my head.

VAAAAAAAAN HEEEEEELSIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111eleven

...brilliant. Now here's the Van Hellsing script - in all it's splendor and glory - that I jacked from Jess' site.

So keep cool my babies - and if I don't return - avenge my death by destroying the entire city of Boston. Starting with Curt Schilling and then Big AL. In that order.

And finally...to close off this wonderful post and to keep you satisfied for the weekend, I present to you a picture I drew in thirty seconds flat, since I think I hear the cars driving away right now. BEHOLD!!!

I would have made him say something, but for the life of me, I cannot remember any of the four lines he had in the movie. Have fun - I know I will.

6/11/2004 09:28:00 PM | Comments (0)

Finally Understanding The Whole Pigeon Thing

(soundtrack)
Wake Up To The Sun - Limblifter

Remember back in the day when those clever rappers, the "Sporty Theivz" (correct spelling and yes, I had to look that up) had that hit song No Pigeons? Of course you do. I never got the title. I could understand why a loser guy was called a scrub, it just sounds bad. But what was wrong with being a pigeon? Well, I spent the part of this afternoon feeding the pigeons and I can tell you the similarities are obvious. Here are some random notes from my encounters:

* Feeding pigeons kicks major ass. Very relaxing and something I'm going to start doing every Thursday. If you ever want to find me on a Thursday afternoon, just come down to Queen's Park.

* At first there weren't that many pigeons around. Here I was walking through the park with a brand new loaf of bread and nothing to do with it. This made me think of conversations I have all the time with my friend, Safina. She's always telling me how I'm going to make a girl very happy one day and how I'd make a great boyfriend and la la la...and I'm just thinking, "Well, that's great. Too bad I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!" Relating this back to my bird feeding, I realized that my inability to find anything to feed was a perfect metaphor for why statements like the one above do me no good:

You can't feed the pigeons if there ain't no pigeons to feed.

* Eventually I found a nice bench to sit on. There was only a few birds there, but eventually you start throwing out chunks of bread and more birds start to come. This reminded me of the beginning of the school year. I remember it seemed like everytime I turned the corner I met a new female friend. It was very exciting. So you keep throwing out crumbs and more birds come and it's all good...

*...but then the birds start to get to close. You've got to throw the bread away from you now, a reaction that I would equate with turning into a complete asshole when you think people are starting to get too close. That is to say, when you think that the pigeons are getting too close for their own good, you've got to lead them away. Call me corny, but it's true.

* (INTERMISSION) When you're feeding squirrels, I recommend ripping off strips of crust and dangling it from your fingers so that they don't accidentily scratch you when they reach for it. Feeding squirrels is cool. That is all.

* After a while, the birds all clear out and you're left with one or two that stick around. This number eventually dwindles to one, in this case a seagull (sorry, William). I started to lob the bread at the seagull, seeing how high it would jump to catch it. I was like a guy throwing a tennis ball to his dog. Whoops, sorry, mixing metaphors here. That is to say, it's like when you start to care about someone in particular and you trust them enough to try and do new and different things with them.

* Inevitably, you realize that all you're doing is birdfeeding. There's no substance to it. Yeah, it's fun and relaxing to just chill out and keep the pigeons happy, but eventually you're going to run out of bread. And then all you're left with is crumbs.

I don't know, maybe I'm reading into the whole thing too much, but I can at least finally see what the "Sporty Thievz" were trying to say. I mean, "Trick Ronald, you ain't worth the McDonald's"? What the fuck was that? But now I finally see.

After that, I went and had lunch with Michelle, Davey Boy and The Ice Queen. Then we got lost looking for parking at Lakeshore while listening to an "old, crappy ballads" mix CD. Then they locked me in the trunk of the car. Then we went and chilled out in High Park for a couple of hours. It was a real good day.

"Are you gonna be nice?"
"I've never been nice my whole life. But I'll do my best...to be sweet."

6/11/2004 01:55:00 AM | Comments (0)

A caveman discovers the cinema... Apparently a mini-film show at the...uh...Annecy International Animation Film Festival...? Whatever, just watch it.

Love those drums.

And now to end the post - a direct link to the second Anchorman trailer and my current obsession. Ah, View Source - where would I be without you?

"LET'S MAKE A BABY!!!"

6/10/2004 08:31:00 PM | Comments (0)

What did sushi A say to sushi B?

6/10/2004 11:48:00 AM | Comments (0)

Check out this tasty lick. Just as "enzymes are the masters of chemistry" (says my Organic Chem prof), Shatner is the master of... well, pretty much anything he does.

6/09/2004 06:17:00 PM | Comments (0)

Pleasantville

(soundtrack)
River Below - Billy Talent

As most of you probably know, I consider myself to be someone who's mood is affected greatly by the weather. That is, if the weather's good I'm good and so on and so forth.

It's beautiful outside and I feel like crap.

I need a job, obviously. I mean, there's not much to it. Sure, I'm a little bummed out because I haven't seen my university mates in a bit, but that's not really bothering me because I've been going out with my real friends. I got to play softball outside of a school gym class for the first time in...since I lived in Avon I think. By the way, thanks for sticking around Jess.

But yeah, if I don't get some kind of job, my whole summer is going to be tits up, for lack of a better term. I knew this would happen too. This must be the first year where I was dreading the summer vacation. I'm not saying that I'm feeling some newfound sense of responsibility or anything like that, but the bottom line is that I want to go out and I want it to be on my terms with my money. It's that simple. I need new shoes.

Back to the weather thing. I'm freakishly comfortable right now. It's not perfect weather, but it's fine for sitting around at home all day. Slightly humid, but again, comfortable. What's weird is (WARNING: Ball tripping sequence initiated) that I'm starting to think of all my past summers and what a waste they were. I mean, I'm not actually remembering anything in particular, but if I close my eyes and concentrate for a second, I can distinctly recall...feeling like this before. I'm not remembering events, I'm remembering emotions. I'm vividly feeling things all over again.

And no, watching Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind twice was clearly not good for me.

On a lighter note...

* I'm on Day 14 of sleeping on the couch and things are going well. I'm on a healthy diet of going to sleep at 3:00 AM after watching reruns of Frasier and Just Shoot Me, followed by waking up at 11:00 AM to catch The Price Is Right. Is Bob Barker the greatest game show host ever? Trebek, maybe? This is going to keep me up at night.

Oh, actually, I should mention that I slept in my bed one night. I was up really late in my room and I still planned to do some reading. So I decided instead of having my Dad come down and see me reading comic books on the couch at 5:00 in the morning, I'd just use the ol' bed.

* In case you haven't heard, Jennifer Lopez got married again. I...wait, I forgot. None of you care.

* Just thought I'd put this cool list up that Dan told me about. I've never heard of most of these songs either. Read about Paul Simon's You Can Call Me Al. It's a good one.

* Did anyone catch Hugh Jackman's performance at the Tony's as Peter Allen in The Boy From Oz? One word: Fabulous. And just so you know, he won the award for Best Actor in a Musical! Hoody hoo!

The lights are starting to dim, so I thinks it's time for this to stop.

Manjula: All that sex for nothing.
Apu: Well, that is a pretty grim assessment.

Happy 500th Post WAMBAG! (convenient, eh?)

6/07/2004 08:15:00 PM | Comments (0)

NERD POST - Petals Around The Rose.

An interesting game, where you have to answer how many petals are around the rose. If you read the background, the idea is that the smarter you are, the longer it takes you to figure out the answer. I managed to beat it in five minutes...so...I guess I'm not that...smart? Or am I SO SMART that I managed to defy conventional smartness and become the exception to the rule of smartality?

No hints, no extra diagrams you're not seeing, no knowledge of advanced math needed. If you can't figure it out, maybe you're just so smart that you'll never get it. If you got some time to waste, then go at it.

6/06/2004 04:50:00 PM | Comments (0)

Four words.

Soundwave

breakdance

CLICK NOW

6/04/2004 10:16:00 PM | Comments (0)

A touching story of stickman romance. However, I still believe that I've yet to see a stickman finer than mine. No living man or woman in all of the five great villages can draw a finer stickman. For I don't merely just draw stickmen...I...CRAFT...MEN...of...STICKS.

6/03/2004 05:40:00 PM | Comments (0)

Today, I brushed my teeth with moisturizer.

It's a horrible feeling, especially when it hits your tongue. I guess it's to be expected - my washroom table's littered with all sorts of disorganized tubes, bottles, syringes, and etc. And considering the fact that I'm not fully conscious until 2:00 PM each day, and that I don't put on the glasses until later...it would have happened eventually. In fact, I'm kind of glad it wasn't the other way around. That would have been really awkward. But still...it was something that I'm not too eager to experience again.

...thought I'd share that with you. Don't know why.

6/02/2004 11:46:00 AM | Comments (0)

My favourite music video of all time has to be Da Funk by Daft Punk. <- clever introductory line for post

...uh...so here's some music videos!!!

I was searching through the archives for this, and I was shocked and amazed when I couldn't find it. So I guess I've never actually posted this baby, although I'm pretty sure I've shared this link with at least one of you before (Sheep? Max?). ...maybe I had found this link during the dark ages before The WAMBAG existed? Regardless, I feel it is my duty to share such a brilliant music video with all of you. So BEHOLD - Soccer Practice. A word of caution - soccer will never be the same ever again after this video.

And complementary to Soccer Practice, I present You Touch My Tralala. This one unfortunately streams - I apologize for that, but you still have to watch it. Sooooooooo goddamn fruity that I feel that if I were to squeeze my monitor, juice and pulp would actually come out. But oh man...that moustache is so pimp that it makes me want to CRY. And yes - that IS man-ass at the beginning. I felt it was only fair to warn you, for I received no such warning when I first watched it.

This next one...isn't really a music video...and to be honest, I have no idea WHAT it is. I think it's Korean, but I'm clueless about anything beyond that.

But this baby...oh I definately know what this is. "It's VI-EET-NAMESE!!!" A rap video produced by a Vietnamese "gang" from Jane and Finch - apparently my brother even knows one of them. This baby is TOO FRIGGIN' FUNNY. And it's the best type of hilarity: the unintentional kind. Way more queer than Soccer Practice - and I didn't think that was possible. My favourite part is when they pull up in all their Camrys and Neons - because everyone knows that Neons are pimp. And if you look carefully...you can see that fat black guy walking along "wit da crew" off to the left in one of the shots. Extreme low budget = EXTREME HILARITY!!! This weekend I'm gonna burn this beauty on a CD, drive around Jane and Finch at around midnight, and PUMP DIS SHIAT UP!!! WHO'S WITH ME!?!

6/01/2004 04:56:00 PM | Comments (0)